Boredom by Design: "Top Design" is the Bottom of the Barrel

Yawn.

Let me begin by saying that I am an ardent fan of Bravo's many reality competition series. I get completely engrossed by Top Chef and I can't get enough of Project Runway.

But I (wrongly) figured that Top Design, Bravo's latest iteration in this ever-expanding universe of lifestyle competitions, would be a variation on those polished series, produced by the whimsically named production company Magical Elves.

The first thing I thought as Top Design began is that it's extremely obvious that another production company produced this series, as it's far less polished and put together than either Top Chef or Project Runway, which both look beautifully sleek and elegantly intelligent by comparison. Top Design is painfully slow at times (so much so that I wanted to stab out my own eyes), the contestants so far are tedious and lacking in personality, and the show is as exciting as watching paint dry... literally.

While shows about fashion or food have a certain sexiness inherent in their subjects, I couldn't find anything sexy or interesting about watching some bickering people create rooms out of similarly blank spaces. Both Top Chef and Project Runway have certain aspirational qualities to them that don't seem to translate here.

There's no way that anyone could ever fill Tim Gunn's luxurious loafers, but host/mentor Todd Oldham is a decent host/mentor for the designers. However, he doesn't radiate any excitement whatsoever. He's a little too nice and a little too approachable. One of Tim Gunn's chief weapons is the fact that he's helpful while still being a little distant at first. He's erudite and somewhat approachable yet emits an invisible beam of politesse while never seeming haughty. Oldham, on the other hand, just seems... blah. He seems like he's trying way too hard to be upbeat and peppy and the poorly dubbed voice over doesn't help matters either. (He ends up sounding, hysterically, like Kenneth the Page on 30 Rock.) And then he just up and disappears with no warning whatsoever. Bizarre.

As for the contestants, they're your usual bunch of whiny, self-entitled reality series contestants but I was hard pressed to even find a single one that I would want to root for this week... or any week for that matter. As soon as utterly useless 23-year-old Michael and obnoxiously aggressive John were introduced, I just knew that they'd SOMEHOW manage to get paired together in a challenge.

Top Design's judges lack the enthusiasm, presence, and personality of Heidi, Nina, Michael, Tom, or Gail. Watching Jonathan Adler, Kelly Wearstler, and the editor-in-chief of Elle Decor (I can't be bothered to look up her name at this point) walk through a series of rooms while taking notes isn't a highlight of tension and suspense.

As for the whole mystery behind the, er, mystery client, talk about a whole lot of build up for nothing, especially when the Alexis Arquette's participation extends to wandering through the designers' rooms and then sitting quietly before issuing her edict about whose design she liked best. (Not that she really seem to care for anything they did, to be honest.)

Tired, dull, and lackluster, Top Design is not something I can work up any enthusiasm about, nor do I think it will be a worthy successor to Bravo's other reality fare.

Sure, premiering this directly after the Season Two finale of Top Chef might be one way to get some curious viewers to tune in, but I'd be surprised if an audience sticks around for the second installment. Especially as Lost returns in the same timeslot next week. After all, this is one reality series I'd be happy to see disappear--by accident or by design--on a haunted island someplace.

We'll Always Have Comic Con: "Veronica Mars" Gets Up to Some New Tricks

Okay, last night's episode of Veronica Mars was, quite frankly, one of the single best hours of TV these past few weeks.

Am I just still reeling from Veronica withdrawal, sure. But whenever Diane Ruggiero writes an episode, I always know we're in for a treat and last night's geek shout-out laden installment ("Poughkeepsie, Tramps and Thieves") was no exception, as Ruggiero managed to turn in a hysterical (and touching) one-off mystery that also managed to advance the overarching Dean O'Dell murder mystery storyline. (And to think the CW is doing away with the multiple-episode mysteries.)

So what was up last night? Veronica was hired by Hearst College nerd-in-residence Max (Adam Rose, last seen in the episode "Hi, Infidelity") to track down Chelsea, the love of his life, who claims to be getting married and of whom he knows nothing about save her first name. Seems the two of them shared a night of deep connections and meaningful dialogues about how the Batwing looks like the Cylon raiders. At Comic Con. And when Max drove his mystery woman to the airport, she claimed to have left behind her contact info at the hotel, but Max found nothing in his room. And it's been completely silent save for this mysterious text he just received. Hmmm, what is a adorably hot blonde detective-in-training to do?

First off, I love the fact that Ruggiero used Comic Con as a locale for Max's heartfelt connection, especially as both Veronica Mars and Battlestar Galactica participated at the 2006 Comic Con. Love the shout-out to the epitome of television/comics/film/pop culture sexytime explosion that is the 'Con. The little details peppered throughout, like Chelsea's "So Say We All" t-shirt, the Batman/BSG conversation, and the Number Six references, were the icing on the cake.

Chelsea is of course a hooker and may not be Max's dream girl after all. Or is she? Max's ne'er-do-well roomies chip in to pay $1000 for a girlfriend-like experience from Chelsea and feed her info on Max's Battlestar obsession and the little Batwing comparison in order to seal the deal for erstwhile virgin Max. But it turns out that the connection he felt between himself and Chelsea (a.k.a Fiona, nee Wendy) wasn't the result of a cash transaction and an Eliza Doolittle transformation; these two are genuinely cute together.

I'm actually a little sad that Wendy didn't stick around at Hearst. Sure, it would have been totally unrealistic for this sex worker to quit her jobs and move into the dorm room of her former client/new nerd-tacular boyfriend, but I did really like Wendy (played by Brianne Davis). Poor Max. He really did seem to fall for her. And, yes, paid $10K to buy her out of prostitution. (Loved that she payed him back $1000 in singles. Nice touch.) But I don't think that Max, or his friends (or hell, Wendy), could ever forget how exactly they met or what she did for a living.

Not entirely sure that I could stomach Veronica actually attempting to blackmail a federal judge for cash, even if he was a degenerate with a shoe fetish; it felt very out of character for Veronica to break, rather than bend, the law. I'm sure that she could have come up with the $1000 another way (in fact, I thought she was suckering Max with the noir-style blackmail scheme) and I just don't see her doing something quite so low-handed. Nor do I think V. would have gotten in the back of that limo, with or without Max. That's how snooping private eyes tend to meet their maker, after all.

Speaking of breaking the law, I couldn't believe that Keith went to the extreme of posing as a police officer (a seriously jailable offense, if I ever heard one) in order to question the girls of Lilith House about the night of Dean O'Dell's alleged suicide. I AM glad that the writers brought back the egging incident (as it seemed more or less forgotten last week), but my jaw hit the floor when I saw Keith dressed as a legit member of the Neptune sheriff's department. Not quite on the level, guys. (Though I did love Lamb's reaction, which was priceless.)

Sure, Fern and Claire admitted that they were the ones who egged the various locations around campus the night of the suicide/murder, but before Keith could get more information, Nish showed up. And, unlike her Lilith sisters, Nish actually watches the news and recognizes Papa Keith. She claims that while Fern and Claire egged the dean's windows (aha!) she went around back and egged his beloved Volvo. Only problem: O'Dell had taken the minivan and wifey Mindy had the Volvo. So just what was Mindy doing at the dean's office the night of the murder? And why hasn't she come clean about the fact that she paid him a visit (or that O'Dell caught her in flagrante delico with Landry)? Curious...

LOVED that the film that Veronica and Logan (and Max) were watching was, of all possible things, Ang Lee's 1995 adaptation of Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility. Too classic. And Veronica's hysterical Hi-Honey-I'm-home routine with Papa Keith? Just may have made my week.

No Mac this week (but, fortunately, no excuse for her absence), or Wallace, who seems to have virtually disappeared from V's life lately. But it was nice to see Weevil for a change.

We knew Logan slept with that blonde skank on the beach (I assumed she was the girl who meant less than nothing to him) before getting back together with our beloved Ms. Mars, but why in god's name did he fool around with the loathsome Madison Sinclair? Loved the reveal that it was Logan she was dropping in on and not Dick Casablancas. And, boy, did Veronica look shocked when she learned that little fact. Just when things seemed to be going so well for her and Logan again... The course of true love, as they say.

Next week on Veronica Mars ("There's Got to Be a Morning After Pill"), Veronica confronts Logan about his tryst with Madison during their break-up and investigates the curious case of a promiscuous classmate who claims she was slipped a morning-after pill and miscarried. Plus, could Veronica be pregnant? (Doubtful, that, but it does make for good promo material.)

What's On Tonight

8 pm: CSI: New York (CBS); Friday Night Lights (NBC); Beauty & the Geek (CW); George Lopez/Knights of Prosperity (ABC); Bones (FOX); Wicked Wicked Games (MyNet)

9 pm: Criminal Minds (CBS); Deal or No Deal (ABC); One Tree Hill (CW); According to Jim/In Case of Emergency (ABC); American Idol (FOX); Watch Over Me (MyNet)

10 pm: CSI: New York (CBS); Medium (NBC); Primetime: Basic Instinct (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: Beauty & the Geek.

What can I say? I'm a sucker for Beauty & the Geek. It might not be the most original or thought-provoking reality TV series on the air, but this "social experiment" from "Ashton Kutcher" always makes me chuckle. On tonight's episode, the remaining teams each get a new member (before you get outraged, it's a teammate of the four-legged kind), the geeks are forced to try to get women's phone numbers at a dogpark, while the girls have to build doghouses. Plus, that spark between Jennylee and Nate turns into a full on fire...

10 pm: Top Chef on Bravo.

On tonight's episode, it's Part Two of the two-part season finale, where it's V for vendetta as adversaries Ilan and Marcel face off in the final culinary challenge, with one of them walking away the victory. Who will be crowned Top Chef and who will go home with some newly minted anger management issues? Find out tonight.

Casting Couch: Famke Janssen Cops to NBC Role

David Shore and Peter Blake have found their leading lady and it's Phoenix herself: Famke Janssen.

The untitled NBC pilot from David Shore, creator and exec producer of House, and House writer Peter Blake is a light drama/police procedural revolving around a female detective and her colleagues in Los Angeles. (Thank god, not another Manhattan-set cop drama.)

Famke Janssen (Nip/Tuck, X-Men) has been cast in the lead role of Christie Winters, a "beautiful" female cop in her 30s who "dresses well" and who gets paired with a new partner in African-American detective Luis Nelson. Fittingly, Christie meets her new partner at a crime scene on Mulholland Drive. (Again, thanks for the LA setting.)

Of course, this being a light, female-driven drama, expect some romantic hijinx as well as homicides, as poor Christie, though a great cop, is hopeless at dating. (Though I find it hard to believe that anyone that looks like Janssen is ever starved for company.)

The pilot, from NBC Universal TV, still is in dire need for a title. Let's just hope it's not "Lonely Winter Nights."

Touched By an Angel: Eye Focuses on "Twilight"

Ah, pilot season. That time of year when your desk tends to overflow with more scripts than you know what to do with (and you've got the rather unenviable job of having to read and report back on every single one).

And when you're reading and sifting through several dozen pilots at the same time, you begin to see some patterns emerging and it's not all that uncommon to experience that odd sensation of deja vu.

Case in point: CBS has ordered a pilot of drama Twilight from Ron Koslow (Beauty and the Beast), Trevor Munson, and Joel Silver (Veronica Mars). The pilot, from studio Warner Bros TV, centers on a vampire who works as a private investigator who just happens to have a thing for a mortal woman.

Wait, whah? Wasn't that a little series (and Televisionary addiction) called Angel?

You know, vampire takes over a private investigation firm, falls for living, breathing woman. All that.

Meanwhile, FOX has ordered a pilot for drama New Amsterdam, a supernatural/police drama set in New York City (formerly known as New Amsterdam).

Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (Wimbledon) has been cast as the lead, an immortal man who works as a police detective whose "curse" (or "blessing") of immortality was placed on him, unwillingly, by some indigenous people (Native Americans, in this case). Said curse can only be lifted by finding his one, true love. (As in perfect happiness, maybe?)

Hmmm, I'm not too sure why all these vampires and immortals (not to mention wizards, as evidenced by The Dresden Files) seem to drift into law enforcement and private eye work, of all professions, but apparently we're seeing a real trend developing here. (Maybe preternatural sight, strength, and/or magic are handy for more than just maiming, blood-sucking, and arcane rituals.)

But, regardless of any similarities (intentional or otherwise), all that these pilots have done is remind me of how much I miss Angel, which went off the air in a blaze of glory (and fighting a vast horde of violent demony things).

Those long-promised Angel TV movies, intended to wrap up the series, never did materialize after all and now I'm seriously pining for the gang at Angel Investigations.

Sniffle.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: NCIS (CBS); Dateline (NBC); Gilmore Girls (CW); America's Funniest Home Videos (ABC); American Idol (FOX); Wicked Wicked Games (MyNet)

9 pm: The Unit (CBS); Law & Order: Criminal Intent (NBC); Veronica Mars (CW); Big Day/Knights of Prosperity (ABC); House (FOX); Watch Over Me (MyNet)

10 pm: 48 Hours Mystery (CBS); Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (NBC); Boston Legal (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: American Idol.

Simon, Randy, and Crazy--I mean, Paula Abdul--continue their search for the next great American Idol, but first the show's producers want them to sit through some truly ear-splinteringly bad auditions, starting tonight. Tune in for the music, stay for the humiliation.

8 pm: Gilmore Girls.

Le sigh. I'm not sure why I am still watching this, as it's just so damn depressing to watch this once-great series continue to fall off the tracks. On tonight's episode ("To Whom It May Concern"), Lorelai forced Jackson to reveal the rationale behind Sookie's odd behavior, Luke and Anna attend a custody hearing, and Paris helps Rory mend things between her and Lucy. All in favor of ending this once great show, say aye.

9 pm: Veronica Mars.

YAY! Veronica *finally* returns (at least for a few weeks, before the dreaded Pussycat Dolls reality show knocks it off the schedule again) with new episodes. On tonight's installment ("Poughkeepsie, Tramps and Thieves"), Veronica tracks down that blonde girl Logan slept with and discovers she's not exactly who or what she claimed to be (cough, hooker, cough), Keith continues to investigate Dean O'Dell's death, and Veronica and Logan's reunion might be cut short already.

Colonial Crack Ups: "Battlestar Galactica" Season 3 Gag Reel

Hungry for more Battlestar Galactica but unwilling to wait two weeks for another new episode?

Salvation is here in the form of the Season 3 Gag Reel assembled by those lovely, lovely people at Sci Fi and the BSG crew.

The thirteen-minute clip is decidedly NSFW so if you plan to watch at your office with the volume set to high, you do so at your own risk.

That caveat aside, sit back and enjoy!



Is it just me or is James Callis hysterical? And what in the gods' names is Edward James Olmos eating? Seriously. Lords of Kobol, there is something not all together right there...

Casting Couch: Liu and O'Connell to Pretty Up "Ugly Betty," While Vartan Set for CEO Role

Ugly Betty has added two actors for guest starring roles while Alias' Michael Vartan returns to television in a new drama pilot.

Lucy Liu and Jerry O'Connell (a.k.a. the future Mr. Rebecca Romijn) are set for guest appearances on ABC's hit comedy Ugly Betty.

Liu will first pop up in the February 15th episode of Ugly Betty entitled "Derailed." She'll play Grace Chin, formerly known as "The Chin," an ex-classmate of Daniel Meade who was, well, rather frumpy back in high school (no Guadalajara ponchos or anything, but you get the implication). Now Daniel needs her help with a certain family matter and, well, The Chin doesn't seem to want to turn the other cheek. (Ouch, bad pun.)

Liu is set to appear in two episodes of Ugly Betty this season.

Also turning up in Ugly Betty's "Derailed" episode is Jerry O'Connell, who happens to be the fiance of new castmate Rebecca Romijn (and was at one time the fat kid from Stand By Me, but we won't go there). O'Connell will play a man named Joel whom Alexis Meade (Romijn) and Wilhelmina (Vanessa Williams) meet whilst slumming it in a sports bar. (Willy in a beer-soaked sports bar? As if!)

Meanwhile, former Alias star Michael Vartan has signed on as part of the ensemble in an untitled drama from Jon Harmon Feldman (Reunion), formerly known as Bedrooms and Boardrooms. The series revolves around four high-powered CEOs who happen to be best buds. Vartan will play a newly minted CEO at a large corporation who is the moral center of the series.

Charles McDougall, who directed the pilot of Desperate Housewives (and a few episodes of The Office, if I'm not mistaken), is set to helm the pilot, from Warner Bros TV.

The rest of the cast has yet to be locked, so stay tuned on that front.

Don't Kill the Messenger: Intrigues Aplenty on "Rome"

I've been woefully lax in discussing the latest season of Rome, which kicked off on HBO a few weeks back and has completely captivated my Sunday nights (along with Battlestar Galactica, Extras, and Gordon Ramsay's F Word).

Deceit. Betrayal. Lust. Murder. Scandal. Welcome to Rome, capital of voracious backstabbing, sometimes quite literally. It's the second season of the beautiful and gripping HBO/BBC period series and also its last.

Wait, what? You heard me. In perhaps a wise mood, HBO renewed the vastly expensive series under the condition that it would be the last and would tie up the storylines from Season One, creating a double-digit maxi-series spread over two seasons. While, on the one hand, I'm deeply saddened to know that there's only a few episodes left to tell the story of Lucius Vorenus and Titus Pullo and that of Rome itself, I do find it heartening that the series' producers (and creator Bruno Heller) had advance notice and could carve out the story they wanted to tell in the time given. So hopefully no major dangling plotlines at the end of this run, unlike, say, that of the sorely missed Carnivale.

That aside, onto last night's episode ("These Being the Words of Marcus Tullius Cicero"), which was filled with Rome's trademark intrigues. After the suicide of his wife Niobe and issuing a curse on his children (who were promptly picked up by Rome's version of Satan, local mobster Erastes), Lucius Vorenus has been at a bit of a loose end and has been placed in charge of overseeing the Aventine and keeping the local crimelords in check, meting out justice like a feudal lord. And poor Titus Pullo, now married to former slave Eirene, follows his master and "brother" around like a wounded puppy. But not for long.

After a disagreement over Vorenus' handling of a local dispute (which quickly turns into a gang war), Pullo accidentally reveals that he, you know, killed Vorenus' wife's lover Evander last season. (Only in the shadowy world of Rome would this make sense. Pullo's logic: Vorenus and Niobe were happy together so rather than Vorenus find out that his "grandson" was actually Niobe's child with Evander and kill Niobe, Pullo--aided by Octavian--murdered Evander.) Their rift leads to a full-on brawl, after which Pullo and Eirene leave the Aventine and travel for several months. Their poorly-handled return in the only weak point in an otherwise taut episode.

I'm glad that things have come to a head between these two and that the secret of Evander's death (and Pullo's culpability in the matter) has finally been revealed, after all this time. While Pullo and Eirene were off wherever they were, Vorenus was hand-picked by Antony to serve in the upcoming battle royale against turncoat Octavian. Of course, Pullo has always been a favorite of Octavian, so it's no surprise where he'll end up on. Me, I can't wait to see these two former brothers-in-arms on opposite sides of the battlefield.

Meanwhile, over at the house of the Julii, Atia has some major problems of her own. With Octavian gone (and raising an army of 10,000 strong against Atia's lover Antony), Atia focuses her energies on driving daughter Octavia mad, slighting her friend Jocasta (the daughter of a wealthy tradesman) and making it clear that the goo-goo eyes she was making with Octavian's friend/messenger Agrippa will not be tolerated. (Hmmm, looks like there's a possible love story brewing there.) With Antony's consulship about to end, he is planning to leave Rome and take over as governor of Macedonia, a desolate place that Atia shutters to think of, so she tries to convince him to stay in Rome. Antony being Antony, he instead decides to take over Gaul and alternately tries to bribe/threaten Cicero to force the Senate into making his whim a reality. (Cicero instead leaves Rome and sends a scathing proclamation about Antony's unsuitability to the Senate to be read aloud; Antony strikes down the messenger.)

But Atia may never get to Gaul as intrigues in her own home could bring about her demise. A spy lurks in Atia's household, a beautiful slave boy Duro, who was hired by the deceitful Servilia to poison her. Once Duro is sure that Atia is dining alone (Octavia is out with Jocasta again), he pours a liquid into her stew and watches gleefully as a cook brings the bowl out to the waiting Atia.

Hmmm, could Atia be dead? I certainly hope not as Polly Walker is one of the many reasons I tune in regularly to this period-flecked soap/drama. My guess: Atia does take the poison, but not enough to kill her. Then she flays Duro and goes after his mistress. Revenge is a bitch and no one is bitchier than our beloved Atia. Oh, Servilia, I almost feel bad for you.

Meanwhile, Vorenus and Pullo still have no idea that Vorenus' children weren't killed by the evil Erastes but were instead just sold into slavery. (Still, not exactly a good time.) As Vorenus' guilt continues to eat away at him, his sister-in-law Lyde manages to escape her cage and heads for help in Rome, leaving the children to fend for themselves. Pullo has a vision from the gods to seek out Vorenus in Rome and, while he doesn't find his fallen brother, he does find Lyde and discovers the truth and sets out to free those poor kids.

Please tell me it's almost time for another episode. With only a handful of episodes of Rome remaining (seriously, it's less than ten), I can't wait for another fix of this bold, colorful, and spellbinding drama and to learn what latest intrigue its denizens have cooked up next.

"Rome" airs Sunday evenings at 9 pm ET/PT on HBO.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: How I Met Your Mother/The Class (CBS); Deal or No Deal (NBC); Everybody Hates Chris/All of Us (CW); Wife Swap (ABC); Prison Break (FOX); Wicked Wicked Games (MyNet)

9 pm: Two and a Half Men/The New Adventures of Old Christine (CBS); Heroes (NBC); Girlfriends/The Game (CW); Supernanny (ABC); 24 (FOX); Watch Over Me (MyNet)

10 pm: CSI: Miami (CBS); Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (NBC); What About Brian (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: Everybody Hates Chris.

Everybody Hates Chris, recently picked up for a third season, returns tonight with a new batch of episodes. On tonight's episode ("Everybody Hates Hall Monitors"), Tanya learns that her friends are hanging out with her just to get close to Drew, while Chris makes the uncomfortable realization that his classmates don't take him seriously when he becomes hall monitor. Word to the wise, Chris: hall monitor has never equalled popularity. Ever.

9 pm: 24.

It's 9 am on Day Six of 24. While FOX doesn't give us much in the way of previews, President Palmer (D.B. Woodside) and his advisers continue to deal with the, er, fallout from the nuclear blast in Valencia, Jack's family problems get even more tricky, and Reed Pollack (Chad Lowe) and Lennox strategize.

9:30 pm: Old Christine.

I can't tell you why I like watching this traditional sitcom, but Julia Louis-Dreyfus is like a warm blanket of coziness after a long Monday. On tonight's repeat episode ("Separation Anxiety"), Christine's friend Barb (Wanda Sykes) decides to split from hubby Pete, leading to Christine getting excited that she finally has another divorced friend, but relations between Barb and Pete quickly thaw.

10 pm: Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations on the Travel Channel.

On tonight's episode, Tony travels to Russia, where he samples some mushrooms, caviar, salmon, and vodka, all in a 19th century-style restaurant.

"The Office" Wins SAG Award for Best Comedy Ensemble

Get our your Dunder-Mifflin snowglobes and Dwight bobbleheads and prepare to celebrate.

Congrats to the cast of The Office, which took home the top prize tonight at the SAG Awards.

The gang from Scranton scored Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Comedy Series, beating out the Wisteria Lane ladies of Desperate Housewives, those spoiled Hollywood players on Entourage, the fashionistas at Mode on Ugly Betty, and those suburban potheads on Weeds.

It was also especially a good night for Steve Carell, who also managed to snag a win for Outstanding Performance by a Cast in a Motion Picture for his work in Little Miss Sunshine, along with Abigail Breslin, Greg Kinnear, Paul Dano, Alan Arkin, and Toni Collette. Congratulations, Steve. (I hope it makes up a little for getting passed over in favor of 30 Rock's Alec Baldwin AGAIN.)

TV winners included America Ferrera for Ugly Betty (take that, Felicity Huffman), the aforementioned Alec Baldwin for 30 Rock, Chandra Wilson for Grey's Anatomy, Hugh Laurie for House (beating out Kiefer Sutherland again), and Helen Mirren and Jeremy Irons (deja vu) for HBO miniseries Elizabeth I.

Not surprisingly, Grey's Anatomy took home the prize for Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Drama Series.

Other winners on the film side: Helen Mirren for The Queen (hurrah!), Forest Whitaker for The Last King of Scotland (making an Oscar win for Whitaker a very real possibility), and Eddie Murphy and Jennifer Hudson for their supporting roles in Dreamgirls.

What can I say? At least I'm happier than the results of the Golden Globes, especially given The Office's win for best ensemble. Happy days.

HBO's "Extras" is Extra Funny, Even If Nobody's Watching

I always get depressed when there's a series that I love watching that no one seems to talk about (or, hell, watch at all).

In this case, I'm talking about the second season of Ricky Gervais' follow-up to The Office, the mordantly hilarious comedy Extras, which recently launched on HBO.

Quick recap time: Gervais plays Andy Millman, a hapless extra, er, background artist who has been slaving away in obscurity for years and years with little hope of escaping a mindless life of drudgery and anonymity. (Hmmm, sounds like David Brent.) He's got a useless, boorish agent (played to great comic effect by co-creator Stephen Merchant, reunited here with his Office mate), no love life to speak of, and constant companion in his friend, the cute but clueless Maggie (played by Ashley Jensen, who has cleaned up and gone all glam as Christina on Ugly Betty.)

The second season has brought Andy a modicum of success in the form of a BBC workplace sitcom called When the Whistle Blows. Poor Andy envisioned a realistic look at the ennui and monotony of a group of factory workers (rather like, well, The Office) but thanks to massive interference from the hapless BBC execs controlling the purse strings he's wound up with a truly awful sitcom that would have felt dated 30 years ago. And to make matters worse, he's forced to destroy the character he created (based on a real-life person he knew) by wearing a terrible wig and over-sized glasses and uttering a mirthless catchphrase ("Is he having a laugh?") that losers in the pub ask him to repeat endlessly.

Somehow 6 million people tune in to the initial broadcast (a miracle which underlies the fact that the majority of the viewing public will watch anything, even Skating with Celebrities or When the Whistle Blows), but Andy's still getting heckled despite the ratings. Hell, he even manages, in last week's episode, to bore David Bowie to the point where he crafts a song about Andy called "Fatty Takes His Own Life." (Yes, it's just that depressing.)

Andy and Maggie are fantastic protagonists and one can't help but feel the genuine, well, pathetic connection between them. (And, no, before you ask, there's no hint whatsoever of any sexual tension between them.) While we all know what a comic genius Gervais is, Ashley Jensen is the true find here. In Jensen's hands, Maggie manages simultaneously to be frumpy and sexy, insightful and idiotic. She's the one constant in Andy's life, the Fool to his Lear, and she's always willing (perhaps too readily so) to reveal the truths that Andy dare not acknowledge.

I can't think of a better comedic pairing than these two. David Bowie might want Andy to end his miserable life, but as for me, I can't wait to see what tragicomedy Ricky Gervais cooks up for Andy and Maggie next.

"Extras" airs Sunday evenings at 7 pm ET/PT on HBO.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: Ghost Whisperer (CBS); 1 vs. 100 (NBC); WWE Friday Night SmackDown (CW; 8-10 pm); Grey's Anatomy (ABC); Nanny 911 (FOX); Wicked Wicked Games (MyNet)

9 pm: Close to Home (CBS); Las Vegas (NBC); Brothers & Sisters (ABC); Trading Spouses: Meet Your New Mommy (FOX); Watch Over Me (MyNet)

10 pm: NUMB3RS (CBS); Law & Order (NBC); 20/20 (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: Hardware on BBC America (11 pm ET).

It's the second season of Britcom Hardware, starring Martin Freeman of the original UK version of The Office, taking place at a small (you guessed it!) hardware store. On tonight's episode ("Nude"), Rex decides that one of his employees has to go after he realizes the shop is losing money, while Anne is approached by an artist looking for nude models.

8:30 pm: Spaced on BBC America (11:30 pm ET).

It's the second season of one of the wackiest Britcoms ever devised. On tonight's episode ("Mettle"), Tim and Mike make it to the finals of Robot Wars but their efforts are in vain as they are sabotaged by rivals; meanwhile, Brian is invited to do an art installation and Marsha joins him for some free booze.

10 pm: Hyperdrive on BBC America (9 pm ET)

On the second episode of this hilarious space station-set workplace comedy ("Hello, Queppu"), the HMS Camden Lock makes contact with an isolationist alien race but Teal destroys the flirtation brewing between Henderson and the alien princess when she imbibes too much of the local drink and lands them all in the clink.

10:40 pm: Feel the Force on BBC America (9:40 pm ET)

It's the US premiere of UK cop spoof Feel the Force. On tonight's episode, Frank and Bobbins get overlooked for a plum assignment, but Bobbins decides to stick her nose in anyway.

Shooting Stars Hollow: Is This The End for "Gilmore Girls"?

Hmmm, apparently there's something in the air. Following my post yesterday about why I think Lauren Graham would be perfect for Gilmore Girls creator Amy Sherman-Palladino's new comedy pilot, The Return of Jezebel James, trouble seems to be brewing on the Stars Hollow set of Gilmore Girls.

According to a report by TV Guide's Michael Ausiello, the fate of the series lays in Alexis Bledel's pretty little hands and the younger Gilmore girl doesn't want to return for an eighth season on the CW dramedy. However, Ausiello claims that the network has a Plan B. (Now beware, ladies and gentlemen, purported and probable SPOILERS lurk ahead, so be forewarned.)

Should Bledel not commit to Season Eight, the CW will reportedly look to refocus the series on "Lorelai, Luke and their new baby, with the occasional sweeps-month guest appearance by Rory."

Ouch.

That's a truly horrifically bad idea, especially as my fear is that Lorelai and Luke will conceive a female baby, changing the focus of those titular girls from Lorelai and Rory to... Lorelai Plus One. (Shudder.)

Meanwhile, over at E! Online, Kristin has some info of her own that appears to discount Ausiello's story completely:

"Well, according to my sources—who are highly placed within the Gilmore family—the plan of a Roryless eighth season has been firmly rejected for one very good reason: Lauren Graham is sticking by her onscreen daughter (you gotta love that) and has made it clear that she will not continue the show without Alexis on board."

Which means that no Alexis Bledel, no Gilmore Girls. Should Bledel decide not to make another trip to Stars Hollow, Graham won't either. (You've got to love solidarity among co-stars.) I can't say that I blame Graham, especially as the two of them are the heart and soul of the show, even if they barely appear in scenes together anymore.

Still, Kristin claims that the CW (and network president Dawn Ostroff) is willing to do "whatever it takes" to keep Bledel and Graham around for another season, including "turn the show around creatively." (I'd have to agree with that; it's been unwatchable this season.)

Personally, I think it's time for Gilmore Girls to take a bow and exeunt stage left at this point. They started out as a little tiny show on a little tiny network on Thursday nights and no one initially gave a thought to the fact that it could even make it past one season, let alone seven.

Gilmore Girls will always have a very special place in my heart but it's sad but true to say that it feels like it's going through the motions at this point and I'd much rather see Bledel, Graham, and the entire GG cast go onto newer and better things than languish for another, protracted season.

That's just my opinion. But at least I have my DVDs.

"It Will Take More Than Paprika to Make Me Cry": Competition Cut to Two on "Top Chef"

What. The. Hell.

Seriously. I can't get last night's episode of Top Chef out of my head and that's not a good thing, since I was particularly angry at the results of the first round of the season finale. Not since the wrongful booting of Allison over on Project Runway have I been this irritated by a decision handed down from the judges.

And yet there's not much that can be done at this point in time. Suffice it to say, that I never thought that things would play out the way they did last night. So, read no further if you haven't yet watched last night's installment, because I'm about to reveal which two chefs made it through the penultimate elimination.

One caveat: I really hate when reality show judges seem to place all of the weight onto a single challenge rather than taking into consideration one's abilities and triumphs over the course of a competition. After all, everyone has an off night, even a Top Chef. But to award Marcel a spot in the final two based on some molecular gastronomic wizardry and some pineapple "poi" after his sometimes disastrous performances in previous weeks? Over Sam, who seems to embody the spirit and skill of a top chef? Something's just not right here.

Maybe because I am just such a jaded person am I more than the least bit suspicious by the fact that mortal enemies Marcel and Ilan somehow made it into the final two together. Gee, do you think that the show's producers could have dreamed up a better scenario than a showdown between the very same two contestants that completely and utterly loathed one another from first sight and started an instant vendetta? Curious, no?

I applaud Sam for the fact that during the hiatus between filming episodes of Top Chef and the finale (filmed in the exact spot on the Big Island of Hawaii where I was just a few weeks ago), he decided to push himself and took a job with an ex-Craft chef turned pastry chef. Desserts have never been Sam's forte and I think it was great that he challenged himself to go out there and learn. (If that isn't the essence of being a Top Chef, I don't know what is.) Ilan went back to his job as a line cook at Spanish restaurant Casa Mono (though potential spoilers abound here; avoid if you don't want to know a particularly juicy twist); Marcel returned to Las Vegas to create some new food science experiments; a shorn Elia to her job at THE Hotel, Mandalay Bay.

But they were summoned to the Big Island for their final showdown, one that would cut the competition down to two and ensure one player a fifty percent chance at winning that spread in Food & Wine magazine and seed money to start their own restaurant.

There would be no Quickfire Challenge, only a demanding Elimination Challenge in which they would have to make two dishes that put a spin on traditional Hawaiian fare for guest judge Alan Wong. And unlike other challenges, they would be allowed to bring supplies, including ingredients, with them to the Big Island. (Seriously, it is impossible to get groceries, or specific items, on the island. Even the Losties seem to have a better selection from their Dharma brand pantry than some areas.)

So what did our Final Four create this week? Sam was up first with his dish of opakapaka (Hawaiian red snapper) poke with pickled sea beans and sesame, ginger, garlic, and yuzu, followed by a dessert course of a mascarpone mousse with Hawaiian salted coconut milk and citrus tuile. People seemed to really like his dishes and asked for seconds, but the judges found fault with the fact that nothing he served was actually cooked. Ouch. But still, poke by nature is RAW and he did put a modern, sophisticated spin on traditional Hawaiian fare, which to be, well, fair, does use a lot of raw ingredients by nature. Harumph.

Next up: Elia who served opakapaka steamed in ti leaves, with Hawaiian salts, carrots, red peppers, and sweet peas and an ahi poke with olives, capers, and lemon confit. While both dishes looked absolutely stunning, the judges felt that Elia went a little overboard bringing in the Mediterranean influences which overwhelmed the poke dish; those olives completely overpowered the subtle taste of the raw ahi while her opakapaka was good but nothing spectacular. Alan Wong indicated that he would have rather seen Elia use different vegetables than just carrots, peppers, and peas.

Ah, Marcel, with his Mr. Wizard approach to cuisine. He was the third to go, with hamachi poke with pineapple "poi" on a crispy taro chip, followed by salmon lomi lomi with tomato foam (surprise!), scallion oil, chili water, and lotus root chip, served after a 16-minute discussion of what he was serving... It did look beautiful, but I feel like he relied more on his chemical compounds (granted, perfectly legal by the rules) and wowing the judges on his techniques rather than the ingredients themselves. Still, judges seemed split on the notion of the pineapple "poi," laced with xantham gum to give it that traditional taro poi texture.

Ilan was up last with a morcilla (blood sausage), onion, and grilled squid lau lau with taro leaves wrapped in ti leaves, followed by a dessert course of saffron haupia frita (fried milk) that blended Spanish influence in the form of saffron with Hawaiian coconut milk. Judges seemed to like the dishes, though I do agree with Ilan that he could have taken more time with the plating to give the dishes a slightly more elegant edge.

All of the contestants delivered beautiful, fantastic food. Did Sam "play it safe"? I don't think so. He didn't necessarily take huge risks, but he matched the brief by giving a twist to traditional Hawaiian dishes. As for Tom's verdict that he didn't cook anything, I really don't know what to say. Should Sam have not opted for a dessert or made one that involved cooking? I don't know.

I do think that Elia was the weakest contestant this round and she didn't fuse her influences with the Hawaiian ingredients enough... and then had the temerity to be so arrogantly defiant about it in front of the judges. It also didn't help things that she turned on Marcel at the last possible moment, accusing him of cheating "several" times throughout the competition and of not playing nice in the kitchen. (He moved her steamer and... she couldn't come up with any other examples just then.) Tom waved off this out-of-left-field accusations by saying that he didn't care what they got up to in the kitchen; it is a cooking competition. (Which I'm appalled by; shouldn't HOW they cook be just as important as what they cook?)

I knew that Marcel had managed to squeak by into the Final Two with his pineapple "poi," but I wasn't happy about it, but the decision to not take such enormous risks came back to bite Sam. I was really, really stunned by the fact that they told Sam to pack his knives and have been rooting for him since Day One. I am just really sad that they discounted everything he's done this competition and the dignity he carried himself with (save one or two lapses).

But, seriously, Marcel? In the final two? Did the judges seriously overlook yet another foam? Yet another modern plating that looks identical to all his platings? Over Sam, who won a huge majority of the quickfire challenges and was by far the most talented chef there?

Color me confused and more than a little angry at the judges.

Next week on Part Two of the season finale of Top Chef: it's V for vendetta as adversaries Ilan and Marcel face off in the final culinary challenge, with one of them walking away the victory. Who will be crowned Top Chef and who will go home with some newly minted anger management issues? Find out next week.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: CSI: Miami (CBS); My Name is Earl/The Office (NBC); Smallville (CW); Ugly Betty (ABC); 'Til Death/The War at Home (FOX); Wicked Wicked Games (MyNet)

9 pm: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (CBS); Scrubs/30 Rock (NBC); Supernatural (CW); Grey's Anatomy (ABC); The O.C. (FOX); Watch Over Me (MyNet)

10 pm: Shark (CBS); The Office/The Office (NBC); Men in Trees (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: Ugly Betty.

It's Televisionary's favorite new show. On tonight's repeat episode ("The Lyin', The Watch and the Wardrobe"), it's the now-classic Halloween episode featuring Marc dressing up as Betty (complete with Guadalajara poncho), Betty and Henry nearly enjoying a romantic sushi lunch, and Betty investigating which woman's apartment Daniel left his watch at... and leading straight to Amanda getting her heart broken.

8 pm: My Name is Earl.

On tonight's repeat episode ("Larceny of a Kitty Cat"), Earl is forced to return a prize-winning kitty to its rightful owner after sabotaging a cat show for Joy.

8:30 pm: The Office.

Over on The Office, it's the first of three Office episodes tonight! Up first is "The Coup," in which Michael gets busted by Jan and Corporate after staging a "Movie Monday," leading a very Lady Macbeth-channeling Angela to urge Dwight to usurp Michael's position in the company. (It's my least favorite Office episode, but it's still better than anything else on.)

9 pm: Scrubs.

Finally! Scrubs is back on NBC's schedule, where it belongs. On tonight's repeat episode ("My Bright Idea"), Turk learns of Carla's pregnancy before she does, leading JD to convince Turk to tell everyone else first and organize a "group surprise." This will end badly.

9:30 pm: 30 Rock.

I can't get this show off of my mind grapes. On tonight's repeat episode ("Jack-Tor"), Liz integrates Jack into a sketch, while Frank and Toofer trick Jenna into thinking that her job is on the line while Liz is suspicious about Tracy's claims of illiteracy.

1o pm: The Office.

It's the second of three Office episodes tonight! On this repeat episode ("Grief Counseling"), following the death of his former regional manager, Michael forces the staff of Dunder-Mifflin to attend grief counseling, Michael Scott-style.

10:30 pm: The Office.

It's the third of three Office episodes tonight! On this repeat episode ("Initiation"), Dwight takes Ryan on his very first sales call but they get sidetracked by Dwight's rather, um, innovative approach to initiating Ryan into the brotherhood of salesmen. This episode, written by B.J. Novak, has got to be my second least favorite Office episode, but I'd still rather watch this than, say, According to Jim.

Why Lauren Graham's Agent Should Get Her the Lead on "Jezebel James"

I might be sounding like a bit of a broken record at the moment regarding Amy Sherman-Palladino's new comedy pilot The Return of Jezebel James, but I just can't get Lauren Graham out of my head.

Mainly because Graham would just be so insanely perfect for the lead role of Sarah Thompkins in ASP's latest project and I'd love to see Graham and Sherman-Palladino reunite on a different project, one that didn't involve a certain formerly beloved mother-daughter relationship going ever so unsubtly off the rails in recent years.

Indispensable industry resource TV Tracker today released the first installment of their patented Track Vision (a boon during pilot season for overworked and overwrought buyers like yours truly) and listed Gilmore Girls as an "expected cancellation."

Rumors have been swirling for months about the fate of this WB/CW dramedy staple, but after seven seasons and increasingly mounting production costs, it seems like this May will be the end of those girls from Stars Hollow. (And, sadly, it's coming a little too late for this former GG addict.)

Which would mean that Graham needs to get out there and sign up to do a pilot for next season. If only to do something television-based that pushes her a little bit away from Lorelai Gilmore. Sure, Graham is developing a few projects with her Warners-based production shingle, but I don't believe that any of them have been picked up to pilot.

Plus, who better to write breakneck, witty, sassy banter for our gal Graham than the writer who infused Lorelai and Rory's conversations with such brilliant pop culture-infused repartee?

The script for Jezebel James describes Sarah as "a young adult book editor. She is mid to late thirties, bright, sunny, an eternal optimist and the most determined lady you could meet."

If that's not Graham, I don't know what is.

Graham needs a vehicle that would allow her to shine and still give her whip-smart dialogue, a three-dimensional character, and a unique on-screen relationship to explore. And Jezebel James would offer her a bit of variety in the fact that, unlike Gilmore Girls, it's a half-hour comedy on a network that has a bit more cache (and cash) than newbie netlet the CW.

Plus, how great would it be to see Graham reunite with her former on-screen flame Scott Cohen, who has already been cast as Marcus in the FOX comedy?

Meanwhile, I was discussing the character of Coco, Sarah's rambunctious, alternative, and aggressively estranged sister, with my friend Di, who writes industry newsletter The Surf Report, and both of us immediately wanted to cast Mean Girls' Lizzy Caplan. (I mean, come on, it would be an absolute miracle if CBS renewed The Class at this point.)

Lauren Graham. Scott Cohen. Lizzy Caplan. Amy Sherman-Palladino. The Return of Jezebel James.

Think about it.

As for those rumors of bad blood between Amy Sherman-Palladino and Lauren Graham during the last days together on the Gilmore Girls set, what better way to bury the hatchet than to start anew?

P.S. If you're wondering about The Return of Jezebel James' title and who exactly that's referring to, wonder no more: the titular character is a fictional character in a series of young adult lit books that Sarah edits. It's also the name of Coco's childhood imaginary friend. Coincidence? I think not.

Goodbye, Cruel World; Welcome Back, "Veronica Mars"

Can I just begin by saying how very happy I am to (finally) have the incomparable Veronica Mars back in my life again?

It seems as though the space between these "pods" of episodes became nearly interminable. But the wait is officially over, as of last night, as Veronica is back on the CW (until they unceremoniously yank it in a few weeks again for The Pussycat Dolls: Search for the Next Doll, that is).

In any event, I will count my blessings that we're even getting to watch the latest goings-on in Neptune since it seems as if Dawn Ostroff and the programming execs have it in for '09ers. But last night's episode ("Show Me the Monkey") was a breath of fresh air after far too many lonely Tuesday nights. While the episode's central mystery (recovering a stolen lab monkey that, well, hadn't really been stolen, per se) wasn't the series' best, what made the episode click was the snappy writing (courtesy of John Enbom and Robbie Hull) and the return of our beloved characters. (Even if Wallace was, as usual, nowhere to be seen.)

But I'll take no Wallace (all season, even) if it means featuring Mac, who was even more adorable than I remembered. Mac's still not entirely recovered from the events of the Season Two finale (you know, finding out your ex-boyfriend is a psychotic mass murderer and then having all of your clothes stolen from the hotel room where you tried to sleep him) and extremely wary of getting entangled with the opposite sex. Veronica too is a little shifty following her breakup (for the umpteenth time) with Logan. So what's a girl to do? Round up fellow down-in-the-dumps lass Parker, go undercover as an animal rights activist, and throw a Canada-themed around the world party in your dorm room.

Looks like the theory that Dean O'Dell's killer would use Veronica's perfect murder project as a framework for an actual murder proved correct, as who ever killed poor beloved Dean O'Dell (Ed Begley Jr.) obviously had access to Veronica's paper (hmmm, TA Tim Foyle, I am looking right at you) but didn't know him well enough to know about that bottle of 40-year-old Scotch he'd been saving. Seriously, Mysterious Killer, had you opened that bottle, you would have been in the clear and this whole matter would have stayed closed as the suicide ruling would have stuck. Ah, the best laid plans. But the killer did frame it up that way, complete with a slumped-over Dean at his desk and a suicide note hastily typed on his computer screen, a trite "Goodbye, cruel world." Followed, as Weevil put it, by a lot of what the Brits would call zeds.

Glad to know that there was no ill-will from Mindy O'Dell (did Keith/Veronica's disclosure about her infidelity lead to his demise?) and that she decided to go to Keith to uncover who really killed her erudite husband. (Can Sheriff Lamb EVER properly close a case in Neptune?)

I absolutely loved the scene between Keith and Professor Landry (Patrick Fabian) at the bar in which Keith tries to not-so-subtly grill Landry about whether he had a hand in O'Dell's death until Landry hysterically reveals that he's known he's been talking to Keith for a long time. Smooth move, mister, especially since your pic is on the back of your book. Landry on the other hand can read people thanks to his background in profiling. Hmmm, could Landry lend a hand in solving this case? Am I the only one smelling spinoff possibilities here?

What else was great? Mac finally having a love interest for a chance that might not be homicidal. Animal rights activist Bronson Pope (Michael Mitchell from the pilot for Standoff and Invasion) and Mac were absolutely adorable together (especially when she runs back and kisses him) and I hope he sticks around for a bit. After all, he better be worth it for Mac to sell out Veronica like that and tip off Bronson that the police were coming with warrants.

Dick Casablancas and his, um, "revealing" Polaroid prank. Can we please see more of this guy in the future. Er, appearance-wise, I mean. (Oh, get your mind out of the gutter, people.)

While I can never in a million years see Veronica and Piz actually getting together, their scene last night was really sweet and touching. Piz obviously has it in for our V. in a major way but even his heart-felt speech about waiting for the right thing didn't seem to click in Veronica's mind... and merely led her straight to Logan's hotel room. Ouch, Veronica, way to hurt a guy. (And how sad did Piz look when he saw the two of them together again?)

And, yes, it was the shortest Veronica/Logan breakup in Neptune history as our star-crossed lovers find themselves back in each others' arms by the end of the episode. But it's not all roses and longing looks across crowded rooms, as there's the whole matter of Logan sleeping with that skanky girl from the beach to deal with. It's going to be a bumpy ride.

Meanwhile, did anyone recognize science researcher Emi? It's Brittany Ishibashi, who recently played waitress Cindy in the "A Benihana Christmas" episode of The Office. Eagle eyes, these.

Personally, I'm just happy that Veronica Mars is back where it belongs (namely, on the air), but I am a little worried by the fact that the who-killed-Dean-O'Dell storyline will be the last longform mystery this series sees. While the mystery o' the week format can be fun from time to time, I'm worried that it will soon turn the series into a more fashion-forward Scooby Doo rather than the stylish noir drama that we've grown to love. Thoughts?

Next week on Veronica Mars ("Poughkeepsie, Tramps and Thieves"), Veronica tracks down that blonde girl Logan slept with and discovers she's not exactly who or what she claimed to be (cough, hooker, cough), Keith continues to investigate Dean O'Dell's death, and Veronica and Logan's reunion might be cut short already.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: Armed & Famous (CBS); Friday Night Lights (NBC); Beauty & the Geek (CW); George Lopez/According to Jim (ABC); American Idol (FOX; 8-10 pm); Wicked Wicked Games (MyNet)

9 pm: Criminal Minds (CBS); Deal or No Deal (ABC); One Tree Hill (CW); The Knights of Prosperity/In Case of Emergency (ABC); Watch Over Me (MyNet)

10 pm: CSI: New York (CBS); Medium (NBC); Primetime: Basic Instinct (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: Beauty & the Geek.

What can I say? I'm a sucker for Beauty & the Geek. It might not be the most original or thought-provoking reality TV series on the air, but this "social experiment" from "Ashton Kutcher" always makes me chuckle. On tonight's episode, the five remaining teams take a trip to San Diego, the beauties are forced to study about electronics, while the geeks create fitness routines, and Cecille freaks out at Niels for sending her the elimination room. It's not pretty.

10 pm: Top Chef on Bravo.

On tonight's episode, it's Part One of the two-part season finale as the final four chefs (Sam, Ilan, Elia, and Marcel) pack their knives and head to Hawaii, where all sort of misfortune occurs for one chef, two chefs are cut from the competition, and one edges closer to being crowned the winner of Top Chef 2.

Casting Couch: Scott Cohen Reunites with Amy Sherman-Palladino on FOX

Because I've gotten so many emails asking me if I knew about this latest bit of pilot casting news, I figure I might as well share it with the rest of you out there.

Scott Cohen has signed on to star in Amy Sherman-Palladino's comedy pilot The Return of Jezebel James for FOX.

For those of us that follow such events, it's a blessed marriage and the reunion of two TV greats. Scott Cohen, of course, memorably played Lorelai's doomed lover and almost-husband Max Medina on Gilmore Girls.

The two met at Rory's private school Chilton where Max was a tweed-wearing teacher and he and Lorelai nearly tied the knot (he proposed with 1000 daffodils in the days when there was an Independence Inn on the show), but she jilted him and instead took a road trip to Harvard with Rory. Ringing a bell?

As previously reported, Amy Sherman-Palladino's comedy The Return of Jezebel James has been ordered to pilot; it's about two estranged sisters who reunite when the elder sister Coco asks her younger, kooky sister Sarah to carry her child.

Enter Scott Cohen, who has joined the cast of Jezebel James, where he'll play Marcus, a confirmed bachelor AND Sarah's boyfriend. (Tricky, that.) One can only imagine how he'll take the news of Sarah's pregnancy scheme...

I think the casting is brilliant, but it only heightens the fact that, no matter how hard I try, I can't help but read the script and imagine Lauren Graham playing Sarah.

If only...

The Knives are Drawn: Marcel from "Top Chef" Attacked

While I'm pleased as punch about the Oscar nominations revealed earlier today, I couldn't let the morning go by without sharing a piece of news from yesterday that I found completely shocking.

I'm talking of course about Top Chef's Marcel.

For those of you who don't watch Top Chef (and really you should be watching), Marcel Vigneron has become quite the littlest villain Bravo's culinary competition has ever known. (Yes, he tops even last season's flame-haired Svengali Tiffani.) With the exception of Elia, every remaining competitor (and a few eliminated players) seem to loathe his very existence.

Apparently, so do the viewers at home.

According to the Las Vegas Weekly (found via Reality Blurred), Marcel was recently attacked by an unknown woman at a nightclub:

"The girl came up to me at a nightclub and asked me if I was Marcel from Top Chef. The next thing I knew, this bottle struck me, and my friends had to rush me to the hospital. I needed 30 stitches for this."

(And, no, before you ask, it wasn't fellow contestant Ilan Hall's girlfriend.)

As a result of the brutal face-meets-glass-bottle smashing, the pocket-sized chef now has a one-inch scar that has all but shattered his dreams of being a Food & Wine cover boy.

In all seriousness though, I can't imagine that even Marcel would engender that much vitriol from the viewing public. After all, he's just a reality TV contestant and not Idi Amin or anything. That someone, a stranger even, would go to the lengths to savagely assault him is just terrifying. Not for anything that he did or believed or because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, but because he's on a reality TV show.

Wow.

While I must admit that I had more sympathy for Marcel after Cliff's full-nelson head-lock from last week's episode, it hasn't made me like him any more than I did. And while I am sure that much of the perceived negativity towards Marcel is a result of editing, there must be a reason that the other contestants just hate him with such a fiery passion.

Still, Marcel claims that he wasn't scared of Cliff and the others. "I don't believe violence solves anything," he told Las Vegas Weekly, "but when I broke free from them, I saw this lamp and I just wanted to smash it over one of their heads. That freaked me out. At that moment, that had me playing their game. And it kills me that these are the guys that question my maturity. I mean, pinning me down to shave me head, that's what drunken frat boys do, not a top chef."

Scarily, I have to agree with Marcel. That's the first time I'd even imagine myself saying something like that.

Part One of Top Chef's second season finale airs tomorrow night on Bravo at 10 pm ET/PT.

Oh Happy Day: "24" Gets Personal for Jack

Looks like things just got a hell of a lot more personal for Jack Bauer... and if last night's episode was any indication things are going to get a lot worse for Jack's day before they get better. After all, this is 24 we're talking about here.

If you were expecting a little breather after last week's nail-bitingly tense two-hour episodes, you were dead wrong. And being forced to kill his compatriot Curtis seems to have snapped Jack out of his funk, as it were. Well, that and a suitcase nuke going off in Valencia.

But enough about that. What I am most interested in is what this all has to do with Jack's estranged family, which were finally introduced last night. Turns out Jack hasn't spoken to his father Philip (to be played by Farmer Hoggett, James Cromwell, himself) in nine years and the old fox seems to have gotten mixed up in some rather shady dealings involving those aforementioned suitcase nukes. But Philip seems to have vanished and the only person who might possibly know where he disappeared to (or had a direct hand in that disappearance) is Jack's brother Graham (Paul McCrane).

And who's Graham? Why he's that serious baddie from last season who orchestrated that whole crazy plot from Day 5 with the Russian separatists and the nerve and kept, you know, trying to kill Jack. (Ah, brotherly love.) It now makes sense why this guy knew so much about Jack and why he had it in for him in the first place... and with evil ex-president Charles Logan (Gregory Itzin) scheduled to show up sometime this season, it is only fitting that his co-conspirator play a vital role in this chapter of Jack's life.

Remember way back in Day 2 and Day 3 how the villains were some American business group with ties to oil? Think that Graham and Philip Bauer could be connected to this plot? And that Jack's family might have been pulling the strings of all of the world-threatening activities Jack has been working so dam