Remember a time when network promos made you want to watch a show? When they didn't just spoil everything in a single episode (thank you, ABC promo-meisters!) or just... confuse you?

I'm talking about the blink-and-you-missed it 15-second promos that CW has begun to air for its summer series, Hidden Palms, which kicks off on May 30th at 8 pm.

For those of you who haven't seen the mind boggling awfulness that are these promos, I urge you to check out the series' "grassroots" site at 08nova.com. Having seen the series, I can say that these promos fail to capture the tone, characters, or mystery in Hidden Palms. Instead, they confuse, irritate, and bore... all at the same time.

I'm all for mystery and intrigue. The more the better when you only have an eight-episode summer run to entice people with before disappearing off the schedule once the temperature starts to drop. But unlike the Oceanic site launched by ABC and Touchstone for Lost (which intrigued and bewildered at times), these videos wouldn't make me want to tune in.

The promo I happened to catch during last week's clip show episode of America's Next Top Model (which doesn't appear online) featured Sharon Lawrence brandishing a gun at a guy, who asks her where she got the gun. "I'm from Texas," she spits out as she draws the gun upwards. Plus, there are quick-cut reverses and cartoon sound effects! Hmmm.

For a series that features Taylor Handley, Amber Heard, Michael Cassidy, Ellary Porterfield, and Tessa Thompson in various states of undress, I don't know that I would have gone with Lawrence to sell this series in a promo spot that appeared to be a lead-in for a promo of The Pussycat Dolls Presents: The Search for the Next Doll. (Seriously, it was THAT fast.)

Or maybe the CW just doesn't want to spend any money promoting a summer series, even one as seductive a guilty pleasure as its own Hidden Palms.

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Oh, Team Cha Cha Cha, I will miss you. For the second time, Danny and Oswald have placed fourth overall in the Amazing Race, just as they did back in Season Two.

I was really hoping Danny and Oz would make it to the final three, but instead we have two of my least favorite teams (Eric & Danielle and Charla & Mirna, if you're keeping score) racing for $1 million against the Beauty Queens. Dustin and Kandice, I've been rooting for you this whole time, so don't let me down!

Last night's episode of The Amazing Race featured the Beauty Queens at their finest, as they managed to stay ahead of the other teams the entire time, even when the other teams managed to get on the same flight as Dustin and Kandice. Though I am still not entirely sure how Charla and Mirna showed up at the airport so quickly behind the Beauty Queens as they were on a ferry that departed an hour later. Color me confused. In any event, I was whooping and hollering as the girls continued their winning streak, once again landing in the top spot. Plus, they seemed to have a hell of a good time getting there. Dustin completely got into the Roadblock and had an awesome time locating a "downed" pilot and making her way to the extraction point, where she was airlifted by helicopter. Can these two just win the top prize already?

Danielle's mental breakdown was hysterical as she began to wander in the jungle and wound up covered in spiders. I understand that the heat is on and only three teams will make it through this round to compete for a chance at $1 million, but come on now. You're using a fricking GPS to lead you to the pilot. Follow the arrow and keep walking. It's really not that difficult. I was hoping that Danielle's tantrum would have resulted in the gruesome twosome getting eliminated this week, but she managed to find the extraction point. I'd be curious to know just how long she was wandering out there because it seemed like quite a while.

Charla, meanwhile, couldn't keep her fingers off the GPS device and, despite her military escort and Mirna telling her, she kept pressing the screen and buttons of the device, resulting in an error about more than half the time. As much as I admire Charla, I couldn't help but roar with laughter as she repeatedly kept touching the damn thing.

Oh, Mirna and her accents. This week, she basically insulted a taxi driver with one of her put-on phony accents as she kept asking him for airport and then had the temerity to turn to the camera and explain that it always helps to ask a person in the right accent. Um, no, Mirna. How about you use your real accent and not some bizarro Spanish/Italian/Esperanto accent? Maybe then the person on the receiving end of your questions would understand you. Who else was cheering when they missed the first ferry?

I thought it sad that only Charla and Mirna chose the "humanitarian" Detour last night (but given the fact that the clue stated it would take longer, I understand the decision) but the experience did seem like a once-in-a-lifetime sort of thing. And anyone that puts Mirna in her place--a military officer chastised her for throwing stuff into the box for the drop as if the items were garbage--is A-okay with me.

And, Mirna, just because you haven't seen someone else the Internet, doesn't mean that they don't know HOW to use the Internet. Get a clue and drop the holier-than-thou attitude. How Danny and Oswald think that these two should win is beyond me.

One of the best lines of the night: "We're not sure whether we landed in Japan or in Alaska, because we felt the cold breeze, freezing cold, but we don't care." - Oswald, upon making in onto the flight with the other three teams.

It's down to the final three and, while I wish that two of the teams were replaced by others, I can't wait to see what happens next week. If the Beauty Queens win, I'll be ecstatic. And, as long as Eric and Danielle don't win, I'll be satisfied.

But I'm more than a little nervous because, if you haven't noticed, The Amazing Race hasn't yet been picked up for another season. Which means that there hasn't been any production begun for a twelfth installment of TAR and next week's episode might just be the last leg of the Amazing Race. Fingers crossed that it's not the case.

Next week on the season finale of The Amazing Race: Dustin and Kandice's relationship capsizes like their kayak, leading Dustin to be hurt by Kandice's words; Charla and Mirna attempt to outwit the other teams with their dazzling display of interweb know-how; the final challenge is a test to see how well teammates know one another. All this, plus one team walks away with a cool $1 million prize. Who will it be? Find out next week.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: How I Met Your Mother/The New Adventures of Old Christine (CBS); Deal or No Deal (NBC); Everybody Hates Chris/All of Us (CW); Dancing with the Stars (ABC; 8-9:30 pm); House (FOX)

9 pm: Two and a Half Men/The King of Queens (CBS); Heroes (NBC); Girlfriends/The Game (CW); The Bachelor (ABC; 9:30-11 pm); 24 (FOX)

10 pm: CSI: Miami (CBS); The Real Wedding Crashers (NBC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: Waking the Dead on BBC America.

It's the return of the stylish smart UK murder investigation series. On tonight's episode, Boyd is requested by MI-6 to re-open an investigation involving the murder of an Iraqi rebel, even though the killer had been caught and convicted. Curious...

8 pm: Everybody Hates Chris.

On tonight's episode ("Everybody Hates Dirty Jokes"), Chris becomes popular after telling some dirty jokes gleaned from his parents' comedy albums, Drew gets some unwanted attention from a girl, and Rochelle tries to find her busybody mom a man.

8:30 pm: Old Christine.

On tonight's episode ("Friends"), Christine, Richard, Matthew, and Barb push one another's boundaries while they go on a road trip, following Ritchie's school camping trip in the desert.

9 pm: 24.

It's Day Six of 24. While FOX doesn't give us much in the way of previews, here's what we do know: Audrey experiences a severe post-traumatic reaction to her captivity in the hands of the Chinese, while Kari Matchett-sniffing Acting President Noah Daniels receives a rather shocking message from Russian President Suvarov. As for me, I'm more interested in what Karen Hayes is up to.

10 pm: The Riches on FX.

Is anyone else watching new drama The Riches on FX? On tonight's episode ("X Marks the Spot"), it's a return to some of the levity seen in earlier episodes as the Molloys plan a con on a disgraced baseball player in order to save their new life in Eden Falls.

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It's always so satisfying when an episode really hits its mark and last night's episode of The Office ("Product Recall") was no exception, delivering an installment that featured several zany storylines without feeling contrived or forced, as Dunder-Mifflin Scranton goes into damage control mode when an obscene watermark appears on a shipment of paper, Creed sets up one of the paper mill supervisors to take the fall, and Andy and Jim travel to the high school, where they learn that Andy's new girlfriend is, er, under age.

Cold Open/Tag. Before I say anything else, I have to comment on what was possibly one of the funniest cold opens ever on this series. I was laughing so hard I nearly choked when Jim came into the office dressed as Dwight, complete with mustard-colored short-sleeved shirt and tie and the $4 drug store glasses, before ratting off some of Dwight's favorite topics ("Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica") and then engaging him in a battle of wits (poor Dwight, will you ever learn). Likewise, the series has never before used a set of bookending cold opens and tags before and I thought last night was a completely novel way of using a mirroring device. At the episode's end, Dwight showed up for work dressed as Jim, complete with poncey haircut, messenger bag casually thrown over his shoulder, and a slightly rumpled suit. As everyone tells Mr. Schrute how fantastic he looks, he keeps mugging for the camera, adding his spin on that trademark Jim grimace we all know and love. Brilliant.

Kelly. Can I just say how much I love Kelly (Mindy Kaling)? I absolutely loved the scenes where she trained Oscar, Angela, and Kevin on customer relations and how to use the phone. Kelly manages to stay just on the right side of the line of lovable irritant and her OTT bubbly personality came through last night. I thought it was perfect that she would pretend to be Bridget Jones on the phone with customers and talk in a put-on British accent... and that she would commend Kevin on his truly awful attempt to talk to the disgruntled customers as an Aussie. Scenes with her and Angela are always a pleasure to watch as the two of them are such diametrically opposed characters; the scene where Kelly attempts to correct Angela's gruesome service skills was also a particular delight.

Andy. I'm actually not as against Andy coming back to the series as I was before it actually happened. This new Andy (a.k.a. Drew) is much more toned down and socially awkward ("beer me") than his pre-anger management stint doppelganger, who was so over the top with his behavior that it actually took some of the shine off of Michael. But now he's calmed down into more of a doofus (in an entirely different way than Dwight) that I don't feel threatened by his return anymore. His scenes with Jim last night were hysterical as he slowly (very slowly) realizes that his new girlfriend is actually a student at the high school (not a sexy guidance counselor or, er, tutor) and then wigs out in front of the principal ("I want to take out an ad in the yearbook. Two words."). Thankfully, Jim is there to not only protect the proceeding from turning violent but also manages to cheer him up afterwards, with some much needed a cappella singing.

Creed. I love the scary/crazy Creed--we learned this week that he used to be homeless and, apparently, has no morals whatsoever--and this episode squarely featured the squirrelly old guy in just the right amount of screen time. (Any more would have been Creed overkill.) I loved the fact that he's blown off the last year of quality assurance drive-bys at the paper mill (just what does this guy do all day? besides growing mung-beans in his desk?) and then pins the entire watermark affair on some hapless mill supervisor who wasn't even there the day Creed pretends to have stopped by. Who else would pass out a going-away card for the employee he got fired and then pocket the goodwill cash that came along with it, tossing the card in the garbage? Just Creed.

Apology video. I thought that this week's apology video, shot as always by Pam (Michael always prefers the vids have a "woman's touch"), was brilliant. As Michael rambles on, making ultimatums and not being all that coherent, a homemade taped up American flag (printed on four separate pieces of paper) lurks conspicuously behind him it. I love how the juxtaposition of media savvy, however false, with a lack of any real human understand completely define Michael Scott. And how awkward was the scene between Michael and the irate customer played by Popular's green apple-loving Lisa Darr, who refuses to accept Michael and Dunder-Mifflin's apology? Even after he's presented her with an oversized novelty check? Michael urges her to call the "ungrateful beyotch hotline," in full view of the single press member he managed to get to come to his inane press conferenece, reminding all of us just how clueless he really is.

Next week on The Office ("Women's Appreciation"), after Phyllis is, er, confronted by a flasher, Dwight and Andy team up to catch the predator, while Michael, who has some personal problems of his own, attempts to comfort and console the women in his own unique style: by taking them on a very special outing.

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With all of the hoopla lately surrounding a certain voicemail heard 'round the world and Alec Baldwin's current issues, I was concerned that the Baldwin overload will overshadow this week's season finale of the brilliant and smartly comic 30 Rock.

However, I'm happy to report that I easily pushed the entirety of Baldwin's "parental alienation" issues right out of my mind and was able to focus on the fact that we now have several months of 30 Rock-less television ahead of us. Damn you, NBC, for getting me hooked on this series only to stop producing new episodes during some lame hiatus. Why can't Tina Fey and the rest of 30 Rock's talented cast and crew work year-round for our amusement?

Last night's season finale of 30 Rock ("Hiatus") neatly wrapped up several dangling storylines from the last few weeks, including Tracy's disappearance (the Black Crusaders are after him), Liz and Floyd's relationship, and Jack's impending nuptials to the gold-digging Phoebe (Emily Mortimer). It was so neatly tied with a bow that I actually felt really sad at the end of the episode, given that it finally hit me that this little show that could actually made it to the end of its first season. No mean feat for a comedy that few thought would outlast its original 13-episode order.

Guest stars. I said it about Arrested Development and I'll say it here: this show has the best freaking guest stars in the business. Between Isabella Rossellini, Rip Torn, Paul Reubens, Will Arnett, and last night's double-punch of Elaine Stritch and Sean Hayes, 30 Rock has proven itself adept at writing for guest stars each week without hitting us over the head with them (hello, Will & Grace!) Comedy legend Elaine Stritch was pitch perfect as Jack's tough broad mother Colleen, who takes an instant liking to one Liz Lemon (assuming that she's Jack's fiancee) and an immediate dislike to the hollow-boned Phoebe. Can you believe Stritch is 82 years old? I'm hoping she'll pop up again next season as the earthy Colleen; I completely believed that this was the woman from whose loins Jack Donaghy sprung.

Sean Hayes was also hysterical as Kenneth's redneck cousin Jesse, who took in the fugitive Tracy Jordan and hid him in Needmore, Pennsylvania, where he started a new life as nerdy, bespectacled Gordon Tremeshko. Sure, there were a few speed bumps ("Make me a smoothie, and let's go clubbing.") but Tracy soon manages to subvert his celebrity status, even when confronted by a pack of hot women desperate to do anything with famous people. The Needmore sequences were hysterical, recalling both Groundhog's Day and Misery, and allowed Kenneth the Page to come to the rescue. Though I jumped in the air when Jesse came after Kenneth, Tracy, Dot Com, and Grizz with a shotgun. And I loved when Kenneth offered up my favorite new expression, "By the hammer of Thor!" in terms of reaction.

Is there any new sitcom character more naive and beloved than Kenneth the Page? What other character on TV today would take a bullet (or, at least, a fall down a steep set of stairs) in order to ensure that, thanks to a quick ambulance ride, his charge, spacey Girly Show actor Tracy Morgan, arrive to the set in time for taping? Sniffle. I'm gonna miss his serial-killer-in-training smile and aw shucks mannerisms until the fall.

Jack, meanwhile, ended up in the hospital under the care of Dr. Spaceman. I loved that Colleen realized Jack's heart monitor could be used as an impromptu polygraph and learned that he really did love her... and Phoebe learned that he really didn't love her. (The fact that she refused to have sex with him at all anymore was also probably not a good sign.)

But it was Jack's scene with emergency contact Liz Lemon (assigned the role because she wouldn't hesitate from pulling the plug) that really summed up everything I love about the show. Liz admits that she's not going to Cleveland to visit long-distance boyfriend Floyd (Jason Sudeikis, who will be missed), after they realized that all Liz talks about is work. Jack admits that his whole life flashed before him (Hands Across America, "Me, personally coining the phrase 'What's the upside?'") and realizes that he does wish that he spent more time at work. These two workaholics are clearly meant for each other... at least in a platonic way, anyway.

Jack and Liz finally do have a heart-to-heart, Tracy does show up in time for the last show of the season ("Take this Black Crusaders! It's Cowboy Hey-hey!"), and The Girly Show--and 30 Rock--sails off into the sunset of the summer hiatus.

As for me, I'm gonna miss what was hands-down the best new comedy of the season. As one of 30 Rock's earliest fans, I've grown to love this surreal comedy series as much as some of my other favorites over the years and I cannot wait to see what Season Two brings us this fall. Hopefully, it's with Jack Donaghy (and Alec Baldwin) firmly in tact. But, if this season of 30 Rock has shown us anything, it's that the series can keep us laughing as much as it can keeping us guessing as to what's going to happen next.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: The Ghost Whisperer (CBS); Identity (NBC); WWE Friday Night SmackDown (CW; 8-10 pm); Grey's Anatomy (ABC); House (FOX)

9 pm: Close to Home (CBS); Raines (NBC); Wife Swap (ABC); Bones (FOX)

10 pm: NUMB3RS (CBS); Law & Order (NBC); 20/20 (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: Absolutely Fabulous on BBC America.

What better way than to begin your weekend of debauchery than by starting it with two people even more pickled than you'll be? On tonight's "vintage" episode of AbFab ("The End"), Patsy moves to New York for a job and Edina joins a commune.

8:40 pm: Coupling on BBC America.

Revisit the Coupling gang way back when. On the first of two episodes tonight ("Flushed"), Steve tries to break up with Jane, while Susan and Patrick split. Ah, beginnings. Then it's "Size Matters," wherein Steve has some problems with his, er, image and Patrick invites Sally to a motor show.

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Say what you will about the first half of Lost's somewhat uneven third season, but this most recent run of episodes has been fantastic and recaptured that magic that was lost (no pun intended) during the awkward scheduling choices last fall.

This week's episode of Lost ("D.O.C.") actually answered some questions while focusing on one of my favorite Losties: the beautiful Sun, who proved that the gritty determination that she displayed in "The Glass Ballerina" wasn't a one-time phenomenon.

Preggers. We've all been wondering what the fate of Sun's pregnancy would be, given the fact that we learned that all of the women who have gotten pregnant on the island have died before their third trimester. Meaning that either (A) the island managed to cure Jin's infertility and he is the father of Sun's baby or (B) Sun got pregnant before she arrived on the island, courtesy of her lover. Either way, Sun loses. So it was with bated breath that we learned that Jin is in fact her baby daddy (it's something to do with how the island more than quintuples sperm count), a joyous revelation that also means that potentially Sun will only be with us for another two months (in Lost time). Say it's not so, Damon and Carlton. I'd be absolutely distraught without Sun on the island.

Jin. Poor Jin. Sun thinks she's freeing her new husband from the shame of his birth when it fact she dooms him (and their marriage) by asking her father for that $100,000. In return the seriously creepy Mr. Paik says that if the money is for his son-in-law, Jin will no longer be a floor manager but will in fact have to work for him to pay off that debt. And pay it off he does as Paik forces him to become a brutal enforcer. Hmmm, do we think the army is where Jin learned some kickin' tae kwon do?

I love the fact that neither of them knows what the other does: that Sun knows Jin's father is alive and that she visited him shortly after their wedding (and he visits him shortly before that doomed Oceanic Flight 815), that they were both planning on running away, and that Jin's mother is not only alive, but is/was a completely mercenary prostitute who left Jin with his father (who might not even be his biological dad). Still, I cannot believe that she actually turns to blackmail when she sees that Sun has married her son. Worst Mother Ever.

Juliet. I knew that she wasn't evil! I just knew it. Still, one can't help but wonder why she's going along with Ben's machinations after everything that's happened between them. But if there's one thing that Juliet is all about, it's self-preservation. I loved the reveal of the tape recorder hidden in the Staff Station and how she left her message for Ben before clicking off the tape and whispering, "I hate you." Ah, Juliet. Welcome back to the side of the angels. Still, one can't help but shudder at the thought that she's playing these castaways so easily: first she gained Jack's trust, then Claire's, and now Sun's to boot. (Though she did seem genuinely happy with Sun during the ultrasound; she's not totally a bad apple.)

So just what does Juliet want from Oceanic's women? Samples and lots of them. I don't think Kate's pregnant (though given the fact that she and a sperm count-raised Sawyer are having unprotected sex leaves that under consideration), but Juliet is obviously looking for a common link among the off-island women and she'll be providing these DNA samples to Ben. Which leaves me to wonder if Sun really is doomed after all or if Juliet said that to sway her to her side. Curious. Still, I can't help but think that Ben sees all of these women as potential baby-incubators as he tries to get to the heart of the baby "curse" affecting the island. Still, it explains why babies and children are such precious commodities in this place.

And that secret room decorated like a nursery? Um, it's where they brought the women to die...

Mikhail. I knew Patchy McPatches wouldn't be dead! There's no way that the show's producers would just casually kill off a character with such potential (though the body count has been awfully high this year). I'm very curious, however, to know just how Mikhail managed to fake his death in the sonic fence (foaming mouth powder perhaps?) and whether the fence was even turned on (I'm thinking not) in the first place. I loved the fact that he tried to steal the satellite phone ("You wouldn't respect me unless I tried.") and his awesome fight with Jin, whom he severely underestimated. But just what was Mikhail running from and towards? Did he see the flare that Hurley inadvertently fired? Or was he after any survivors from the helicopter crash? It's obvious that he didn't expect to find Des and the others there. Very curious.

Naomi. Still, it's a good thing that Patchy was there to save the life (at least temporarily) of the injured Naomi, in a particularly gross medical procedure that sprayed a hell of a lot of blood all over the place. (Ick.) While we didn't learn much about the mysterious Naomi this week (except that she's a kick-ass polyglot), she did leave my jaw hanging on the floor when she told Hurley that it's impossible that they are the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 as the plane was found... without any survivors!

Just what did Naomi mean? Before everyone starts off with the purgatory theories, I think we have to remember that Ben's group was aware of the crash from their communications feed at the Flame and they've proven themselves particularly adept at making some pretty crazy things happen. My theory: they faked the crash and the discovery in an enormous cover-up so that search parties would stop looking for the survivors... and then they would have all the guinea pigs they need for the island's bizarro tests and experiments.

Meanwhile, what did Naomi whisper to Patchy? Lostpedia translates the whispered phrase from Brazilian Portugese as "I am not alone." Whether that's actually true or who might have accompanied Naomi to the island remains to be seen...

Next week on Lost ("The Brig"), Locke, who's apparently finally snapped out of his moral fugue state, kidnaps Ben from his tent and urges an incredulous Sawyer to kill him as he cannot, while Naomi offers some shocking information to the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815. Is it Wednesday yet?

What's On Tonight

8 pm: Survivor: Fiji (CBS); My Name is Earl/The Office (NBC); Smallville (CW); Ugly Betty (ABC); Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? (FOX)

9 pm: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (CBS); 30 Rock/Scrubs (NBC); Supernatural (CW); Grey's Anatomy (ABC); Trading Spouses: Meet Your New Mommy (FOX)

10 pm: Shark (CBS); ER (NBC); October Road (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: Ugly Betty.

On tonight's installment ("Petra-Gate"), Betty goes out of her way to avoid former friends Daniel, Christina and Henry, Amanda flirts with a designer she assumes is gay, and Alexis is asked out on her first date as a woman.

8 pm: My Name is Earl.

On tonight's episode ("GED"), Earl returns to school to prepare for his GED after getting turned down for a credit card, as he doesn't have, you know, a high school diploma, a job, or a house. Is it just me or does this show seriously need to step it up, given the strenghts of fellow NBC laughers The Office and 30 Rock?

8:30 pm: The Office.

On tonight's *new* episode ("Product Recall"), Dunder-Mifflin is forced to implement some serious damage control when a shipment of paper is found to contain an obscene watermark. Hmmm, isn't quality assurance Creed's job?

9 pm: 30 Rock.

On tonight's season finale of 30 Rock ("Hiatus"), Liz and Floyd try to work out the kinks in their long-distance relationship, Jack's impending wedding brings his mother (guest star Elaine Stritch) to New York, and Kenneth searches for the missing Tracy. (Sniffle, sniffle.) For those of you on the East Coast (or, er, not doing anything at 6:30 pm PT), Tina Fey will be liveblogging at NBC.com after the broadcast.

9:30 pm: Scrubs.

On tonight's episode ("My Turf War"), J.D. is left out in the cold when Elliot's wild sorority sister Melody arrives in town and decides to turn the girls against one another. Oh, J.D., you insufferable cad.

10:30 pm: This American Life on Showtime.

Based on the popular NPR radio series, this brilliant new Showtime drama seeks to capture first person accounts of single themes. On tonight's episode ("Pandora's Box"), sadly the last in the show's first season, innovation brings some surprising results for people trying new things, including some scientists who accidentally discover a way to erase memories and a Chicago hot dog vendor who brings out some intense emotions in his customers.

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Say it's not so. Could Jack Donaghy want off of 30 Rock?

Actor Alec Baldwin, currently embroiled in the controversy stemming from his voicemail-heard-round-the-world in which he allegedly verbally abuses his daughter Ireland, has asked NBC to release him from his contract on the comedy series, which was recently picked up for a second season (and which wraps its freshman season tomorrow night).

NBC has publicly denied the request, stating that Baldwin, along with the rest of the cast, will be returning for Season Two of 30 Rock.

Baldwin meanwhile, wants off the series so he can spend time dealing with his "parental alienation" and with his ongoing legal battles with ex-wife Kim Basinger. Furthermore, Baldwin reportedly wanted to leave 30 Rock so that the cast and crew of the comedy would not "be hurt by the situation." He'll appear in a pre-taped segment on this Friday's edition of The View (set your TiVos now!) talking about the voicemail message and his behavior.

It's hard to imagine the brilliant 30 Rock without Baldwin or the loopy Donaghy. But I also worry how his performance on the series will suffer in the long run if his heart just isn't in what he's doing.

Is there a future for 30 Rock without Alec Baldwin? Discuss.

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Looks like FOX has pulled Drive onto the shoulder.

After announcing that it would take the rather unusual tack of intentionally breaking up Drive's 13-episode run into two chunks (thus limiting any momentum the series would have built up), FOX has now announced that it is in fact benching the series for the entirety of May sweeps.

Four hours of the freshman series, about an illegal underground cross-country race, have already aired. FOX will fill Drive's Mondays at 8 pm timeslot with (you guessed it!) repeats of House.

While there's been no official word of the c-word (that would be cancellation, people!), it's not a good sign for a series that's already had its share of odd scheduling and plummeting ratings.

Oh well. It's not as if I didn't already make the turn for the exit ramp last week.

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While watching this week's episode of FX's The Riches, in which the Molloy clan returns to the Traverlers camp to attend the funeral of the murdered Earl (and nearly attends the wedding of DiDi to Ken Dannigan), I couldn't help but reminded of the commune on HBO's Big Love (which thankfully returns to the airwaves after way too long on June 17th).

The two series are definitely distinct in their own ways, but they do share some similarities in the familiar theme of outsider families pretending to be something they're not, in suburbia, no less. While the series' leads couldn't be more different from one another (I don't, for example see Dahlia and Boss Lady knocking back drinks together), it's impossible not to compare the two series' most insane characters.

Yes, I'm talking about examining the crazies: Big Love's Alby (Matt Ross) and The Riches' Dale (Todd Stashwick).

Name: Alby (Big Love)
Occupation: Commune enforcer
Likes: Knives, sandwiches, holy missions
Dislikes: Bill Henrickson, anti-freeze, hospital stays
Antisocial Traits: Terrorizing little girls, strangling Ben Henrickson, breaking and entering Home Plus
Deviant Behavior: Alby takes a male hustler he picked up outside a grocery store back to his motel room, makes a sandwich, then bangs his own head against the wall after forcing the guy to leave.
Crazy-O-Meter: 10

Name: Dale (The Riches)
Occupation: Acting Patriarch of the Travelers
Likes: Tacky neon beer signs, pens with ink, Dahlia Malloy, small, unmarked bills.
Dislikes: Wayne Molloy, getting passed over for leadership opportunities, yellow Mercedes and the people who drive them
Antisocial Traits: Pushing pregnant women, beating up the mentally disabled, reneging on sworn oaths of protection
Deviant Behavior: After learning that Earl had selected Wayne as his successor, Dale takes his paralyzed father out into the woods, says he'll carry him forever in his heart, and leaves him to die from exposure.
Crazy-O-Meter: 9

Conclusion: they're both pretty damn insane, but I do have to give Alby the slight edge in craziness over Dale as the root of his insanity is still somewhat under wraps, while Dale appears to be a sociopath with a fixation on Dahlia and some daddy issues.

Who do you think is the more certifiably insane of the two? And which one should be locked up post haste?

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Oh, 24, I keep giving you chances and you keep biting me.

I finally got around to watching this week's episode of 24 last night (blame it on the fact that I was out Monday night and, well, hardly find the show that interesting anymore) and was shocked to learn that there's only a handful of episodes left. This season has been plagued with such stop and go storytelling (guess we'll never learn if Charles Logan lived or died after being stabbed by a knife-wielding former First Lady) and such an over the top beginning (after detonating a nuclear bomb in Valencia, where do you really go from there?) that it's hard to take the show seriously. And don't even get me started on the Very Special Episode where Jack bonded with a mentally disabled guy in a plot to ensnare the dead-and-forgotten "Mr. Grendenko."

Still, it's a telling sign that a series is getting a little old and creaky when the most exciting thing about 24 that week isn't Jack's daring rescue of Audrey (who may or may not be insane) but the fractured marital relationship between Bill Buchanan and Karen Hayes.

What's that you say? How can the strained relations between two supporting characters be the most exciting thing going on? Here's the skinny. A few weeks back, weaselly Reed Pollack (Chad Lowe) and the Biscuit (Peter MacNichol) discovered that Bill Buchanan that actually detained Fayed two years earlier and released him, due to a lack of evidence. Now that said terrorist detonated a nuclear blast in the US, the Justice Department is looking for a scapegoat. And since both Bill and Karen were involved with Fayed's release (or in Karen's case, the routine processing of paperwork involving the release), either she or Bill will have to take the fall. Due to Karen's proximity to the president (both the real one and the Kari Matchett-sniffing Acting one), it's advised that it's Bill who be the fall guy.

Poor Karen. Just a few hours ago, she tried to resign to cover up just this very story to keep Bill in his position as director of CTU and now she's willing--for the greater good--to fire her husband and destroy his career (before he can check his voicemail messages, apparently). Bill is grief-stricken that his wife would turn on him as quickly as she does and hangs up on her. A distraught Karen tries to call back but Bill refuses to speak to her. Please tell me my favorite TV couple (loved that photo of them on their honeymoon in Hawaii, BTW) isn't splitting up!

While Karen's role as National Security Advisor might seem more pivotal, I did think that perhaps it would be in the interest of the country to keep Bill running CTU until the 73rd international crisis that day was completely averted (given that Jack had gone rogue for the umpteenth time and was running around with Russian missile schematics). Or at least until the end of the season. As for Karen, she and her always sensible pantsuits have given this season a much needed kick in the pants as she continues to provide both steely resolve and (as evidenced from this week's episode) grim determination that her career--or that of her beloved husband's--can be sacrificed in the name of national security.

Meanwhile, I do think that Bill chose the perfect replacement for himself in Nadia, who will be acting director of CTU until a suitable replacement for Bill can be found (read: next season). It's at least a fitting apology to the woman they had suspected of being a mole, detained, interrogated, strangled, and then released without giving her a mental health day or a change of clothes. And, hell, she'll do a better job than the dour Chloe, who's too busy arguing with ex-husband Morris (whose involvement in the Fayed affair is thrown back in his face) to do her job.

But if there's one reason I've stuck around with 24 this season, it's definitely because of Karen Hayes. And while next week's episode seeks to reveal just what the Chinese did to Audrey, the real reason I'm tuning in isn't to watch Jack try to reach out to her but to see just what the fallout is from Karen's betrayal of Bill, both politically and romantically and whether their marriage will be fractured forever.

Had you been in Karen's position, would you have taken the fall or would you have pinned it on your partner? Discuss.

Next week on 24, Audrey experiences a severe post-traumatic reaction to her captivity in the hands of the Chinese, while Acting President Noah Daniels receives a rather shocking message from Russian President Suvarov.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: Jericho (CBS); Thank God You're Here (NBC); America's Next Top Model (CW); According to Jim/Notes from the Underbelly (ABC); American Idol (FOX; 8-10 pm)

9 pm: Criminal Minds (CBS); Crossing Jordan (ABC); Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll (CW); Lost (ABC)

10 pm: CSI: New York (CBS); Medium (NBC); Lost (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: America's Next Top Model.

On tonight's episode ("The Girls Who Picks a Fight"), it's time for a clip show, featuring never-before-seen footage from Top Model, including Dionne and Renee going tooth and nail in an argument, and the girls put on a mock fashion show, including impersonations of the judges. Let's just hope they didn't raid Tyra's closet for that one.

9 pm: Lost.

If you missed last week's Desmond-centric episode ("Catch-22"), here's your chance to catch it again. Desmond convinces Charlie, Hurley, and Jin to accompany him on a journey across the jungle, while Kate turns to Sawyer after catching Jack alone with Juliet.

10 pm: Lost.

Lost is more than back on track for me. On tonight's episode ("D.O.C."), Sun reluctantly allows Juliet to examine her after learning that all of the Other's pregnant women have died before giving birth on the island, while Desmond enters an uneasy alliance in order to save Naomi's life.

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More twisty than one of the Dharma Initiative's orientation films. More needlessly confusing than the current season of 24.

Just what am I talking about? If you've been following the on-again, off-again future of the CW's Veronica Mars, you know exactly what I am talking about. It seems as though a day can't go by without someone from the cast or crew making a comment in the press about the show's fate.

Then there was the previously reported new story angle, with the action for a potential fourth season taking place several years in the future, with Veronica an FBI trainee. (An angle that Rob Thomas confirmed here on this very blog.) An interesting gambit, the pitch presented the opportunity for Thomas to present two very different avenues for a potential next season to the network.

Then on Friday, co-star Enrico Colantoni (a.k.a. Papa Keith) told the Toronto Star that the FBI angle had been vetoed by the network and was now as dead as poor Sheriff Lamb:

"Rob [Thomas] and a couple of the other executives said, 'Let's make a little showcase pilot of what Veronica could be like in four years.' They thought Dawn [Ostroff] might latch on to the idea of Veronica as an FBI agent in a kind of sexy workplace environment, á la Grey's Anatomy, that kind of thing.

"We shot 10 pages and they saw it and the reaction was, 'That's not our show.' Then they saw the last episode of this season, and it was so on the money ... it was like the first two years. And I think the network was very excited about that."

Which seems like a fairly definitive statement. That is, had it been true that Ostroff had even seen the ten-minute Season Four presentation in the first place.

TV Guide's Michael Ausiello spoke to Rob Thomas, who says that the network hasn't even seen the aforementioned presentation.

"I have no earthly idea what Enrico is talking about," Thomas told Ausiello. "The network doesn't see it or hear our pitches for VM College or VM FBI until May 2."

So there you have it. There's still a week or so to go until the CW even hears a Season Four pitch for Veronica Mars from Thomas and Co.

While the fate of the series is still very much in the air, I think that the network would be foolish not to order another season of Veronica Mars, especially given that I don't particularly think they've knocked it out of the park with any of their drama pilots this season. (I can only really see one, Gossip Girl, from The O.C.'s Josh Schwartz and Stephanie Savage, hitting the right note at the net.)

Will we get to see more of our favorite intrepid sleuth (either in college or in the FBI) next season? Something tells me this is going to be a decision that comes down to the wire, with the network only making an announcement at the upfronts on May 17th.

In the meantime, Veronica Mars returns from its way-too-long hiatus next week with a brand new episode ("Un-American Graffiti"), in which a Middle Eastern restaurateur hires Veronica to discover who has been vandalizing his restaurant, while Papa Keith, now acting sheriff, begins a program in which his deputies conduct ID checks in all of Neptune's bars.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: NCIS (CBS); Dateline (NBC); Gilmore Girls (CW); George Lopez/George Lopez (ABC); American Idol (FOX)

9 pm: The Unit (CBS); Law & Order: Criminal Intent (NBC); Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search of the Next Doll (CW); Dancing with the Stars (ABC); House (FOX)

10 pm: Cold Case (CBS); Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (NBC); Boston Legal (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: American Idol.

The six remaining contestants (ha, no Sanjaya!) perform songs about compassion and hope, kicking off a multi-night charity event overseen by Comic Relief/Red Nose Day's Richard Curtis.

8 pm: Gilmore Girls.

I've given up on this once-great drama, but for the few of you out there still watching (there's potentially 13 more lousy episodes next season!), here's what's going on. On tonight's episode ("It's Just Like Riding a Bike"), Lorelai and Luke are uncomfortable together (yawn), while Paris breaks up with Doyle after getting accepted to law and medical schools.

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After months of rampant speculation as to when the US public would finally get to see Season Three of British sci fi series Doctor Who, Sci Fi has finally announced that the TARDIS will be arriving in the States this summer.

Sci Fi announced that it plans to launch Season Three of Doctor Who, starring David Tennant and Freema Agyeman (replacing the departed and much missed Billie Piper), in July.

The third season kicks off with the most recent Christmas special, entitled "The Runaway Bride," starring Catherine Tate as a, well, runaway bride of sorts. (Don't look for Agyeman's Martha Jones, however. Her character doesn't show up until the third season's actual premiere episode, "Smith and Jones.")

Among the highlights that the Doctor and Martha will reportedly face: William Shakespeare, a 1930s Dalek plot, vampiric aliens, and some stormtroopers called the Judoon. (For a trailer, click here.)

While I saw "The Runaway Bride" last December, I can't wait to see Season Three of Doctor Who and see the chemistry between Tennant and Agyeman myself. I've missed my fix of the Time Lord and Co. these past few months and I'm happy to see that this summer is turning out to hold quite a few must-see series, including the new Doctor Who, after all.

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Remember Traveler, that little 8 episode action drama that was originally ordered for the 2006-07 season?

The series, which stars Matthew Bomer, Logan Marshall-Green, Aaron Stanford, William Sadler, and Stephen Culp (a.k.a. poor dead Rex from Desperate Housewives), follows two grad students (Bomer, Marshall-Green) forced to go on the run after their friend (Stanford) frames them for a terrorist act (namely, the blowing up of one NYC museum). Together, they must find a way to prove their innocence while tracking down the man responsible for the crime (the titular Will Traveler).

ABC announced a few weeks back that it would burn off the series (earlier chopped from its 13 episode initial order to 8 eps) in its entirety this summer, a rather unceremonious dumping of a show that I found eminently more engaging and suspenseful than, say, the current season of 24.

To counter-balance any negativity to the summer scheduling, ABC has now announced that Traveler will in fact kick off on its deadly road trip earlier than expected. The freshman drama will get a sneak peek of sorts on May 10th in the prime post-Grey's Anatomy slot at 10 pm.

Traveler's pilot episode (look for a review next week) will then be rebroadcast on May 30th (its original launch date) in the series' regular timeslot, Wednesdays at 10 pm.

Having seen multiple versions of Traveler's pilot over the last year, I can't wait for this summer series to kick off. I'm just itching for something smart, suspenseful, and sleek to watch during the long, hot months of summer.

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Last night's episode of The Amazing Race was another one of those way too stressful installments, where I found myself perched on the edge of my couch hoping for the defeat of one of my two least favorite teams while hoping that, somehow, Danny and Oswald would make it to next week's leg.

Whew. I feel somewhat conflicted that the producers staged yet another non-elimination round so soon after the last one (that would be, er, last week) but, as it managed to save Danny and Oswald's skin after they arrived at the pit stop in dead last (after encountering the world's worst taxi driver in Macau), I can't be all that angry. Me, I was hoping we'd finally seen the last of the shrilly irritating Danielle and Eric. Alas.

The Yield. Nothing has been more contentious this season on TAR than the usage of those dreaded yellow Yields. The Beauty Queens rightly surmised last night that the Yields are in fact part of the race, a tool to be used as teams see fit. Would it feel terrible to be yielded? Most definitely. But if you're in this game (particularly for these teams who already ran it once before), you should have realized by now that it's not devious or underhanded to use one of the tools that the producers provided you with. Especially when the race for the final three is in its final hours and any lead, no matter how small, is a leg up over the other teams. Eric and Danielle, listen up: it's not personal, it's not underhanded, it's just the game. And you would have yielded the Beauty Queens had you gotten there first, so shut up about it already.

Danny and Oswald. I felt awful that Danny and Oswald found themselves in such an untenable position that they felt they needed to basically prostitute themselves for cash. Still, the idea of selling a Yield was such a brilliant Machiavellian move that I am amazed that no one's come up with the idea before now. Team Cha Cha Cha definitely needed money in order to complete this leg, given all of the expenses incurred with taxis and ferries. But I was hoping that the guys would have stuck to their guns and demanded protection money, rather than offer the girls the opportunity to pick another team to be Yielded. But, honestly, I was hoping the gambit would have led to Eric and Danielle get eliminated. Especially since, Charla and Mirna would have given the boys money with no strings attached. (Or said they would have, since I never actually saw them give them anything when told about their situation.) Would you have done the same thing had you been in Danny and Oswald's position?

Noodles. I definitely thought that the noodle challenge was the way to go though I was freaking out when Dustin and Kandice had to redo their batch after cutting their noodles far too thickly. Fortunately, they still managed to beat Charla and Mirna, who showed up just as they were starting their second batch. I have to say, I really have no idea what Charla and Mirna were doing in the noodle shop. Charla managed to get up onto the work surface with the dough and seemed to be rolling or stomping or something, while Mirna tried to work the rod. The entire affair reminded me completely of the chocolate factory sequence from I Love Lucy. (Was I the only one who thought that?) Add to that the entirely comical scene in which Mirna attempts to drive a miniature car and ends up on the curb, before trying to physically pull the car, and you have pure comedy gold that had me rolling on the floor.

Mirna. I am so over her it's not even funny. Whether she's inventing new accents, punishing Charla (even after the detour ended) for misjudging the thickness of the noodles, or misinterpreting what actually happened with Danny and Oswald and the yield (she blames the Beauty Queens for forcing them to Yield Eric and Danielle), she can never keep her mouth shut. You make Charla do all of the difficult Roadblocks and now you're whining about having to drive the car? Idiocy.

Taxi. Danny and Oswald meanwhile decided to do the dragon and drum detour, which consisting of carrying an ornamental dragon's head and drum 3/4 mile to the lake, where they would receive their next clue. It would have been an easy challenge if they hadn't ended up with the aforementioned world's worst taxi driver, who took them to the end of the detour rather than the start, and then Danny led them to the lake in a completely circuitous route. Compound that with the fact that they then didn't seem to learn from their lesson and decided to use the same taxi driver to lead them to the pit stop and you then begin to understand why they arrived in last place. Not unsurprisingly, the taxi driver took them to the wrong mountain on the island of Taipa, which allowed Eric and Danielle (waiting out their 30 minute penalty) to check in before Team Cha Cha Cha arrived.

Ultimately, I am thrilled that Dustin and Kandice held onto their lead going into the final four (for a third time around!) next week. I'm really hoping that they do manage to become the first all-female team to win TAR. And I'm glad that Danny and Oswald are still in the race. Let's just hope they can pull out of last place and knock Danielle and Eric out of the competition. Fingers crossed...

Next week on The Amazing Race, Charla and Mirna participate in a US military supply drop in Guam, teams face a zero gravity challenge, and Danielle has yet another breakdown during a Roadblock. Will her ineptness finally lead to their elimination? Blurg.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: How I Met Your Mother/The New Adventures of Old Christine (CBS); Deal or No Deal (NBC); Everybody Hates Chris/All of Us (CW); Dancing with the Stars (ABC; 8-9:30 pm); Drive (FOX)

9 pm: Two and a Half Men/The King of Queens (CBS); Heroes (NBC); Girlfriends/The Game (CW); The Bachelor (ABC; 9:30-11 pm); 24 (FOX)

10 pm: CSI: Miami (CBS); The Real Wedding Crashers (NBC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: Waking the Dead on BBC America.

It's the return of the stylish smart UK murder investigation series. On tonight's episode, it's a crossover with FX's The Riches! Okay, not quite. But Boyd and his team do investigate the death of a teenage boy, deeply involved with a band of Irish Travelers.

8 pm: Everybody Hates Chris.

On tonight's episode ("Everybody Hates Gambling"), Chris becomes his neighorhood's go-to odds maker when Doc discovers that he has an innate talent for predicting the outcome of sporting events. Naturally, his lucky streak only lasts so long...

8:30 pm: Old Christine.

On tonight's episode ("My Big Fat Sober Wedding), Christine tries to remain sober at a friend's wedding but the lack of liquor doesn't stop her loose lips.

9 pm: 24.

It's Day Six of 24. While FOX doesn't give us much in the way of previews, here's what we do know: Jack is very much on the opposite side of Mike Doyle now that he's gone rogue (again!) to trade some sensitive schematics for the release of Audrey, while Noah Daniels prepares to address the country after assuming the Presidential office and Tom Lennox engages in a personnel shakeup. Hmmm, more Kari Matchett, perhaps?

10 pm: The Riches on FX.

Is anyone else watching new drama The Riches on FX? On tonight's episode ("Virgin Territory"), Wayne and the family return to the Traveler's camp after learing of Earl's, er, death (at the hands of Dale, no less), but Dale has his own plans for the Molloys (involving settling some scores) while Ginny tries to force DiDi and Ken to wed.

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Can you believe there's only one episode left of 30 Rock this season? I'm in such complete and utter shock that we've reached the end of Season One (thank god there's already been a renewal) that my bones feel as hollow as those of Jack's latest paramour, the deceitful Phoebe. Ouch.

In any event, it's been a wonderful, magical, surreal ride this season. In the penultimate episode of the season ("Cleveland"), Floyd and Liz took their relationship to the next level, namely a trip to the destination vacation hot spot, Cleveland. Unlike Manhattan, where Liz is tired of having to explain every item in her purse every time she gets on a subway and where a drunken bum spits... in her mouth (ick), Cleveland is the magical place where she can sit in ZZ Top's car, have lunch with Little Richard, and where everyone thinks she's a model because she's so thin. In other words, it's Lemon's idea of paradise.

Floyd. Poor Floyd (Jason Sudeikis) didn't land that dream apartment (which prompted Liz to utter, for the first time, the immortal words, "by the hammer of Thor!") or that promotion after all. Even Jack is sure the Floydster will score the gig, until he sees the competition... Garkle, an African-American man in a wheelchair ("Well played, Garkle"). Ouch. And sure enough when Floyd doesn't get the job, he decides that he's had enough of New York City and accepts a job at the top law firm in Cleveland... and he wants Liz to come with him.

Phoebe. Jack orders Liz to have a girls day out with Jenna and his fiancee Phoebe and they end up having a rather awkward lunch (where Jenna admits she'd have a threesome with two Jacks) and then head to Victoria's Secret, where Jenna collapses in a drunken heap after attempting to try on underwear on top of her clothes and Phoebe tells Liz that, in Paris, Jack fell asleep on top of her during sex. (Though, is it just me, or wouldn't that have crushed her, with the hollow bones and all?) Later, Liz follows Phoebe to a restaurant where she sees her flirting with another rich, older gentleman but can't quite bear to tell Jack about it; Phoebe claims he was a former lover and that was their good-bye but Liz is suspicious. Oh, and Phoebe isn't even remotely British! The accent--and possibly the avian bird syndrome--is as fake as Jenna's hair color. Liz tries to warn Jack, but Phoebe has already clouded his judgment: he thinks Liz is in love with him. Oh, Emily Mortimer, how could you?

Tracy. After making black people look bad, Tracy is convinced that the Black Crusaders (consisting of Bill Cosby, Oprah Winfrey, etc.) are out to get him and, when some of his high-profile comeback projects get cancelled, he high-tails it for Cleveland, where he plans to start a new life. (Cleveland certainly seems nice, with its police horse petting, Little Richard lunches, and clean streets.) But before you can say Dr. Spaceman, he's followed to Cleveland by the Crusaders.

So, what's up with Jack's narcolepsy? Will Liz Lemon accept Floyd's answer (doubtful) or will she turn down the best thing that's happened to her lately and choose Manhattan and The Girly Show? Will we ever find out where Frank gets his hats? And will Dr. Spaceman step in and rescue Tracy from the edge of crazy? Find out next week.

Next week on the season finale of 30 Rock ("Hiatus"), Liz and Floyd try to work out the kinks in their long-distance relationship, Jack's impending wedding brings his mother (guest star Elaine Stritch) to New York, and Kenneth searches for the missing Tracy. (Sniffle, sniffle.)

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Oh, Betty, I've missed you. It seems like forever since we've been able to sit down and watch a new episode of Ugly Betty. Well, maybe not as long as that but I've missed the show's wacky charms enough to feel a twinge of separation anxiety every time I notice there's a repeat on Thursday.

Fortunately, last night's episode of Ugly Betty ("Punch Out") brought us to new levels of loopiness while closing the door on some grating storylines (Constance, anyone?) and it showed us (finally) that Betty had gained enough confidence to not only tell off Christina for accepting Wilhelmina's help (especially given the price) but to tell Daniel that she was off the clock when he once again turned to her for help (after telling her off earlier). Brava, Betty.

Constance. I've loathed this whole Ignacio immigration storyline since its inception way back when in the lousy HMO storyline. But I do have to say that last night's episode did offer one unexpected twist: the off-kilter Constance was completely off her rocker and had been fired two months earlier from her job as an immigration case worker. Instead, she lures Ignacio (or "Nacho") to her apartment in the hopes of meeting his attorney and then proceeds to keep him prisoner. Her plan: to grant Ignacio legal status by marrying him in a quickie wedding ceremony in Atlantic City. Hells, she even has the ghastly powder-blue tux already steamed and ready to go. While Ignacio may have felt bad for the kook (he even had Hilda take a picture of them dressed in their wedding, er, finery), I sided more with Hilda. Make the loon pay and get the police involved. With Constance finally out of the picture, the Ignacio storyline looks to finally wrap up soon with him gaining his green card. Whew.

Amanda. I heart Amanda like nothing else. And the conniving Mode receptionist has more than a few new tricks up her (designer) sleeves, setting her sights on taking down Nick Pepper (Veronica Mars' Deputy Leo, Max Greenfield) and becoming Alexis' new assistant. I loved that she really does know, more than anyone else, what is really going on at Mode: who's sleeping with whom, who's pregnant, etc. and that she really did manage to find Fay's secret "love dungeon," located behind a secret panel in The Closet, but was too distracted by the perfect pair of shoes to even notice that she tripped the switch. Can someone give Becki Newton an Emmy already?

Christina. Leave it to the long-suffer Scottish style to feel guilty for her success. I really did think that the only favors Christina provided for Wilhelmina (who, BTW, was absolutely hysterical in last night's episode as she used live flesh-eating fish to give herself a tingly pedicure in order to seduce Bradford) was turning in that envelope, which incriminated Bradford in Fay's death. But turning over information from every single conversation she has with fellow Mode staffers? That I find hard to stomach. Would Christina really sink so low as passing along intel on everyone to Willie? Even Betty? Hmmm. Still, she looked pretty shocked that Betty would tell her off outside of Prague (the hottest club in NYC that didn't really look all that hot) and walk off, leaving our little Ashley Jensen all sad and alone, but looking mighty beautiful all the same.

Daniel and Betty. Daniel's been in a serious nosedive since Alexis came back and took over running Mode; he's returned to his former debauched playboy ways and has been living it up, albeit in a rather sad sack, spinning-out-of-control purple shirt-wearing way. Last night's episode finally featured a showdown between Betty and Daniel as she tried to protect him (wrongfully) from the machinations of gossip hound/celebrity expose writer Quincy Combs (Leslie Jordan, in yet another scene-stealing role, channelling Truman Capote perhaps?). Daniel railed against Betty's overprotective, micro-managing of his life and cruelly told her off in the club, telling her in no uncertain terms that they weren't friends and Betty's job ended when she clocked out at the end of the day. (Um, what about all of those late night phone calls and cries from help from Daniel then, huh?)

So it was only fitting when, in another unforeseen plot twist, those Russian model sisters that Daniel was busy bedding turned out to be a grifting mother and daughter, who used the fact that Daniel slept with the 16-year-old Petra (oops) as a means of blackmailing him into giving her a Mode cover. Daniel, naturally, turns to Betty to get him out of this mess, but the new Betty Suarez has grown a spine and tells Ignacio to tell him that she's punched out. That's my girl!

Next week on Ugly Betty ("Petra-Gate"), Betty goes out of her way to avoid former friends Daniel, Christina and Henry, Amanda flirts with a designer she assumes is gay, and Alexis is asked out on her first date as a woman.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: The Ghost Whisperer (CBS); Identity (NBC); WWE Friday Night SmackDown (CW; 8-10 pm); Grey's Anatomy (ABC); House (FOX)

9 pm: Close to Home (CBS); Raines (NBC); Wife Swap (ABC); Bones (FOX)

10 pm: NUMB3RS (CBS); Law & Order (NBC); 20/20 (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

10 pm: 20/20.

What's that you say? 20/20? On tonight's episode of the long-running newsmagazine, it's "Seven ways to Help the World," and if you're not feeling more than a little guilty after watching the brilliant An Inconvenient Truth to tune in, something's very wrong.

10-11 pm: Clatterford on BBC America (9 pm ET)

It's the final episode of Jennifer Saunders' new series Clatterford. On tonight's episode ("Christmas Special"), the whole town comes together to put on one of those particular English Christmas time diversions: the pantomime.

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Ah, Desmond. I don't envy you in the least. When you're not spending your time trying to save the life of Driveshaft former member Charlie, you're experiencing some weird "flashes" that would drive any lesser man insane and which may cause you to sacrifice someone else's life in order to achieve a higher goal.

But that's the nature of a prophet, I suppose. We learned a bit more about the former monk on last night's episode of Lost ("Catch-22") that featured the arrival of a mysterious new castaway, Naomi (played by Marsha Thomason of Las Vegas), who was not--as Demond had hoped--his former fiancee Penny Widmore. (Damn!) Last night's episode was written by Jeff Pinkner and new staff writer Brian K. Vaughan (yes, the creator of Runaways and Y: The Last Man). Hence all of the fun Superman vs. Flash moments between Charlie and Hurley, which added some nice levity, along with the campfire ghost stories, into a rather ominous episode.

Naomi. The enigmatic Naomi not only recognized Des when she regained consciousness, but was also carrying that iconic photograph of Desmond and Penny, the same one that Des holds onto so dearly. Curious. Add to those occurrences the fact that her backpack contained a Portugese edition of Joseph Heller's "Catch-22" and you're left with the undeniable conclusion that Naomi was likely working for Penelope Widmore, perhaps at that electromagnetic research station we saw at the end of Season Two. Just how Naomi made it to the island and what she's doing there will have to wait for another time.

Desmond. In this week's flashback, we're given a peek into how Desmond met Penny (and why he refers to everyone as "brother") and I never would have predicted that it had anything to do with our man Des joining a monastery nor that he was engaged to be married to someone other than Penny. Namely, the Biblically-named Ruth, whose brother ends up decking Desmond right in the winemaking monastery (who conveniently, only bottle 108 cases a year). Desmond claims that right before the wedding, he experienced a blackout and found himself laying in the middle of the street; a man wearing a monk's cassock offered him a hand and Desmond felt he was receiving a calling from God. But God's will apparently doesn't involve him staying on at the Abbey and he's "fired" from his vocation by Brother Campbell. The next day, he turns in his robes and ends up helping a lovely woman pack her car full of cases of the monastery's wine (called Moriah, after the mountain where Abraham nearly sacrifices Isaac). It's Penelope, of course, and they hit it off immediately. Ah, doomed love.

Ms. Hawking. Yes, that was the creepy Ms. Hawking seen in the photograph on Brother Campbell's desk when Desmond turns in his robes. I had to rewind to be certain but there's no doubt whatsoever that it's the ouroborous-wearing Ms. Hawking (played by Fionnula Flanagan). Which begs the question: is Ms Hawking a fictional construct of Desmond's psyche or does she actually exist in the "real world"?

Love triangles. I loved how jealous Kate got at seeing Jack and Juliet being such shiny, happy people together as they enjoyed a dinner of homemade oatmeal... and the fact that she licked the spoon one last time before giving it to Jack. I never thought I'd feel bad for Sawyer, but our favorite con man has realized once again that he's second best and the only reason Kate sought out Sawyer that night (after turning down his offer of some afternoon delight) was because she was upset about Jack and Juliet. Poor guy. It's never a good sign when the object of your affections starts crying before she has sex with you. Just a clue. But I did love that he managed to find a mix tape for Kate, even if it was a best of Phil Collins album... and if it was stolen from Bernard. (Yay, finally, a mention that he still exists!)

Charlie. I know some of you out there are serious Charlie-haters, but I don't want the little Hobbit to die. He's survived death five times now (if you count that pesky Season One hanging by Ethan) and I like his prickly demeanor and over-protectiveness of Claire. Desmond did find the survivor of the helicopter crash (even if it wasn't Penny) without sacrificing Charlie's life as Abraham did on Moriah. (Was he tested?) What do you think? Should Charlie live or die?

Satellite Phone. Naomi's bag also contained a satellite phone that made me want the new Apple iPhone even more than I already did. But while the phone has a signal strength of three bars, it quickly powers down when Hurley tries to use it. Coincidence? Or part of the electromagnetic anomaly? Think the Others have a charger at the Barracks? I'm still also a little weirded out by the fact that the helicopter's beacon seemed suspiciously like that of the food drop. Could Naomi--and by extension Penelope Widmore--be part of the Dharma Initiative? And why exactly did the helicopter crash? And was Naomi the only one aboard?

Next week on Lost ("D.O.C."), Sun reluctantly allows Juliet to examine her after learning that all of the Other's pregnant women have died before giving birth on the island, while Desmond enters an uneasy alliance in order to save Naomi's life.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: Survivor: Fiji (CBS); My Name is Earl/The Office (NBC); Smallville (CW); Ugly Betty (ABC); Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? (FOX)

9 pm: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (CBS); 30 Rock/Scrubs (NBC); Supernatural (CW); Grey's Anatomy (ABC); Trading Spouses: Meet Your New Mommy (FOX)

10 pm: Shark (CBS); ER (NBC); October Road (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: Ugly Betty.

Finally, a new episode of Ugly Betty! On tonight's installment ("Punch Out"), Daniel starts to party like his former shell of a self (that didn't take long), while a writer (guest star Leslie Jordan of Will & Grace), who has Fey Sommer's diaries in his posession, begins stalking the Meade family.

8 pm: My Name is Earl.

On tonight's episode ("Two Balls, Two Strikes"), following the death of Chubby, his son Little Chubby (guest star Norm MacDonald) comes to Camden County to take over the family business. Is it just me or does this show seriously need to step it up, given the strenghts of fellow NBC laughers The Office and 30 Rock?

8:30 pm: The Office.

On tonight's repeat episode ("Back from Vacation"), Michael returns to work after his "all-inclusive" Jamaican vacation and an email containing a rather racy vacation photo of one Jan Levinson makes the rounds.

9 pm: 30 Rock.

On tonight's installment ("Cleveland"), Floyd (Jason Sudeikis) asks Liz if she would ever think about leaving Manhattan and moving with him to the Midwest, while Jack takes off with Phoebe (Emily Mortimer) for Paris and perhaps a quickie wedding?

9:30 pm: Scrubs.

Tonight's installment ("Their Story") has Ted attempting to juggle his fantasties of having a full head of hair with helping the beleaguered nurses battle for a pay increase, while Jordan helps Elliot and Keith.

10:30 pm: This American Life on Showtime.

Based on the popular NPR radio series, this brilliant new Showtime drama seeks to capture first person accounts of single themes. On tonight's episode ("Growth Spurt"), people will themselves to enter the next stage of their lives, including a first-time screenplay writer and a 13-year-old girl.

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Ahoy, maties. CBS has finally announced a launch date for their latest Mark Burnett-produced reality series, Pirate Master, which will set sail this summer on Thursday, May 31st at 8 pm.

Personally, I can't wait for this series, a pitch perfect blend of pirate lore, high camp, and brutal elimination-style reality television. (A preview can be found here.)

"Pirate Master breaks new ground in that it's the collision of fantasy and reality," explained creator and executive producer Mark Burnett. "This is a show where, in true pirate fashion, anything can happen with a group of people that live by their own set of rules and usually break them. It's adventure, excitement and loads of treasure. Anyone who ever wanted to be a pirate will love this show!"

The series will follow 16 Americans as they search for $1 million worth of buried treasure on the high seas, around the Caribbean island of Dominica. Players will live and travel as pirates on a massive 179-foot ship and embarking each week on expeditions were they will be forced to decipher clues in order to locate actual gold coins, which they will get to keep after the season wraps... or which they can use to make deals or bribe other players.

Like Survivor, Pirate Master will feature its own version of tribal council: Pirate's Court, where each week three selected pirates (each given a black mark by the captain) will plead their cases before one is cut adrift and eliminated from the competition. Or the captain himself could find himself the victim of a mutiny. Ultimately, this is a reality television show where anything really can happen and anyone could go home at any time.

The scheduling for Pirate Master will have the new skein take over the Thursdays at 8 pm timeslot vacated by Survivor when the venerable reality series goes on hiatus this summer. Not coincidentally, the launch date will mean that Pirate Master is premiering exactly seven years to the day that Survivor first showed up on the airwaves, before immunity idols, voting someone off the island, and a naked Richard Hatch were household terms.

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April and May are always rollercoaster rides of emotion for television junkies like myself, as networks begin to shape up their schedules for fall and tease us with a few series renewals and cancellations ahead of the network upfronts in mid-May.

It's quite easy then to fall into a state of constant guessing as to whether your favorite shows will return next season. I was stunned to learn that, according to USA Today's Robert Bianco, the still-on-hiatus Veronica Mars (which, thankfully, returns to the airwaves May 1st and obliterates those dreadful Pussycat Dolls) is already a goner:

"San Francisco, CA: How come Veronica Mars wasn't included on the USA Today "save or axe" survey? Has its fate already been decided?

Robert Bianco: Yes. According to our reporter Gary Levin, the show has been cancelled. And he's almost always right about such things."

Shock, horror.

But fret not, Neptune fans. This morning, Kristin at E! released the results of her seventh annual Save One Show campaign poll. According to Kristin, two series tied for a record-making first place: the CW's own Gilmore Girls and Veronica Mars.

As far as I am concerned, it's Gilmore Girls that's a foregone conclusion (and a rightful one as that series has already gone on one season too many), while Veronica Mars is the horse to bet on right now, given that it has not one, but two, potential Season Four strategies in at the network for the fall.

Kristin, meanwhile, plans to send letters of support for both series to The Powers That Be at the CW, which potentially could be promising. While I don't think that any network would make their primetime scheduling decisions based on a letter of recommendation, I do think that the proper positioning of fan bases around specific shows (particularly if said fans are in a desirable demographic) can make the programmers more likely to bring back a series that's on the bubble, especially if license fees or budgets can be chopped down a bit.

In the meantime, Veronica Mars creator and executive producer Rob Thomas issued the following statement regarding the poll's outcome: "We're continually astounded by the fans' willingness to go grassroots to keep us around. More than ever, the letter-writing, vote-casting, plane-circling efforts of our fans may be just the push we need to make it back on the air."

Fingers crossed that Veronica's scheduled finale on May 22nd is a season finale and not a series finale...

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I've completely fallen under the spell of this season's Top Model. Sure, Miss Jay irritates me more than ever (good god, the ruffles) and I'm never sure why Natasha is the one to read out the Tyra Mail clues, but, thanks to the girls of ANTM,Wednesdays have become more than just the home of my beloved Lost.

It's now down to the final six contestants. I've got my favorites, as I am sure you do too, along with those that I can't really figure out how they got onto the show, nor how anyone thinks that they could possibly win this thing. (Ahem, Jael.)

A brief aside: what the hell was Tyra wearing last week? While the editors wisely kept us guessing just what travesty the Bankable one decided to throw on this week (I couldn't help but notice that every shot of her was a long shot, surrounded by close-ups of the other judges, the girls, and, hell, the floor rather than a tight shot of her), I was blown away by the sheer ugliness of whatever it was that she had on. How can she possibly criticize the girls for what they show up wearing at judging if she's looking... like that? End rant.

Onto the competitors themselves. I'm amazed each week by the strides Dionne has taken recently. She's finally transformed from that pretty, if awkward, girl into a confident, sexy model. I thought for sure last week's challenge, in which she had to reenact that infamous limo kiss with Kim, would have lead to uncontrollable giggles, but Dionne not only acted like a paragon of professionalism but ended up enjoying herself and opening up. Her photos are polished and poised and, while she might not know exactly what to do with her hair or clothes in the judging room, she's come a long way so far. She's definitely the one to beat.

I really do love Brittany, who has a really unique look that's all her own. And thankfully, the producers finally got rid of her awful, mangy weave. Some girls on Top Model are crybabies just looking for attention; I do believe though that Brit was in severe amounts of pain thanks to that thing. She's quirky-looking without appearing weird or awkward and she more than held her own in the photo shoot with last season's twins, upstaging both sisters and stealing the shot. Not a mean feat, that. She's vaguely reminiscent of Stella Tennant but with softer features. I'd love to see her go up against Dionne but outside of the photo shoot she seems like a bit of a non-entity. Can the judges see her inner model?

Ah, Renee. There's always one completely "misunderstood" girl in the house and, this season, that's you, R. I think Renee is absolutely beautiful (even if her ubiquitous head scarves are distracting, to say the least) and usually takes stunning photos. She just needs the confidence in herself (and the distance from her past issues) in order to stand tall. I think she's really trying to be aware of her flaws and deal with her problems, at least in relation to living with the other girls, and she seems hungry enough to want this. As long as she concentrates on her own photos and poses, I think she could make it to the end. Unless the judges do think that she has a tendency to photograph "too old."

I wanted Natasha and her weird walk to be gone by the end of the first episode, but I do have to say that she's progressed really well and has finally managed to prove why she's there competing; her photos at first were completely vacant pin-up shots but in recent weeks she's managed to reverse a few of her irritating trends (upside down shot, pursed "model" mouth) to create some memorable shots. I don't think she'll make it to the end but I am impressed by the fact she's reinvented herself these past few weeks.

Jael. I really, really, really do not understand Jael. She's unique-looking, if your tastes for models runs towards the alien, but most of the time she looks awkward and far too angry in every shot. Plus, Tyra and the judges are right: once she opens her mouth, there's no way that this girl (who sounds either stoned or drunk or both) will get booked by anyone, unless she takes some elocution classes, stat. I think her time in the competition, unless she seriously brings it, is coming to an end.

Oh, Jaslene. You started off so strong and proved the judges wrong for not admitting you to Top Model earlier but lately your photos have been so... off. Personally, I've never been a Jaslene fan; while her photos at the beginning had a certain je ne sais quoi to them, I found her too skeletally thin (never a problem as a model, though) and thought that she definitely has a decency to look a little... drag-queenish, a description the judges have been loading onto her lately as well. She's always too high camp rather than polished and as soon as she grabbed that feathered headdress in the acting competition with Tia Mowry and Efren Ramirez last week, I knew that she had gone too far.

What do you think? Who will be the final two girls fighting it out for the chance to become America's Next Top Model? And how will producers tell the girls tonight that they're headed for the Land Down Under? Let's hope it's Tyra in a kangaroo costume with Miss Jay dressed up as her joey. Now that I've got to see.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: Jericho (CBS); Thank God You're Here (NBC); America's Next Top Model (CW); According to Jim/Notes from the Underbelly (ABC); Bones (FOX)

9 pm: Criminal Minds (CBS); Crossing Jordan (ABC); Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll (CW); Lost (ABC); American Idol (FOX)

10 pm: CSI: New York (CBS); Medium (NBC); Lost (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: America's Next Top Model.

On tonight's episode ("The Girls Who Go Down Under"), the girls are given a lesson in hosting by a former ANTM contestant and then head to Australia, where they must interview some Aussie locals. Get out your didgeridoos; it's going to be a bumpy ride.

9 pm: Lost.

If you missed last week's Juliet-centric episode ("One of Us"), here's your chance to catch it again. It's reunion time as Jack finally makes it back to the beach, but his fellow castaways are less than pleased when they see that Juliet is with him. Meanwhile, we finally get some answers about Juliet's past (and get to see that submarine), while Claire is suddenly stricken with a mysterious illness. Uh-oh.

10 pm: Lost.

Lost is more than back on track for me. On tonight's episode ("Catch-22"), Desmond convinces Charlie, Hurley, and Jin to accompany him on a journey across the jungle, while Kate turns to Sawyer after catching Jack alone with Juliet. I'm counting down the hours...

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Sometimes I am a glutton for punishment, especially when it comes to a television show that I really do want to like but, for whatever reason, just doesn't meet my expectations. I know I shouldn't keep watching, but I keep giving the program in question one more chance to lure me in and win me over.

Such is the current battle I'm engaged in with FOX's new drama Drive. More than anything, I really did want to like this freshman series, even after announcements that FOX would be splitting the season into two puzzle pieces. After all, it has an amazing cast, populated by some of my favorite actors: Nathan Fillion (Firefly), Amy Acker (Angel), Melanie Lynskey (Heavenly Creatures), etc. And it was co-created by Tim Minear, a longtime Joss Whedon collaborator who has brought us some memorable--if short-lived--series such as Firefly and Wonderfalls.

Right? Right?

After seeing various versions of the pilot over the past few months (the original with Ivan Sergei in the Nathan Fillion role, the one-hour version with Fillion, the two-hour double episode that aired Sunday night), I still wasn't convinced by the show, which failed to catch me with its highly improbable and mind-boggling logic about a secret, illegal underground race and a mysterious cabal of people who coerce players by a Machiavellian strategy of kidnapping loved ones and the other players who just seem to want to be there to a win a $32 million prize.

I tuned in last night to the third episode of Drive ("Let the Games Begin") in a last-ditch effort to see if I would quit this thing cold turkey or keep filling up my TiVo with episodes that I would never watch. Sadly, I have to report that last night's episode again left me cold. Sure, we got to see frequent Minear associate Katie Finneran (Wonderfalls, The Inside) pop up as the sister of Alex Tully (Fillion) and I do love the rapport between father and daughter John and Violet (Dylan Baker and Emma Stone). Kevin Alejandro's Winston Salazar has even grown on me... if only he would stop using the word "homes" in literally every other line of dialogue. (Seriously.)

But no matter how many times I tune into Drive, there are still things that manage to get under my skin each and every time: the Lost-style flashbacks, the check-your-brain-at-the-door loopiness of the series' race, with its checkpoints and murders, and the fact that nearly every single person the racers encounter on the road is in some way connected to the race. Sure, Beth Grant's diner waitress was a hoot, but if the race's organizers seem to have the sort of constant surveillance necessary to guarantee that the racers would come into THAT particular diner at that particular time or break down alongside that road, why don't they seem to know that Corinne (Kristin Lehman) has stolen a flash drive containing the race's secrets? Or that Alex has kidnapped one of their enforcers and held him prisoner in his motel room bathtub?

The special effects are also, at times, shockingly lousy. For every jaw-dropping car crash (like the brilliant one at the beginning of episode 2), there are the amateurish fade in/fade outs from each car, or the grade school CGI rocket, or the hokey opening credits.

It's also the fact that the characters accept without question everything that they're told; last night, Alex was abducted, beaten, and questioned by a lunatic highway patrolman (who wasn't really a law enforcement officer in the end) and given the exact car he had as a wastrel gang member back in the day. I mean the SAME car. He accepts this "gift" without question and instantly transforms from the mild-mannered landscape gardener into a vicious speed demon.

Unlike Lost, where the characters accept the weirdness of the situation that they're in (even if they don't ask the right questions--for the audience--at the right times), Drive's racers don't bat an eyelash about the peculiarities of this cross-country race; the entire experience appears to strike them as entirely normal. At least John fessed up to Violet about the fact that they were even in a race to begin with; that sort of mindless aversion of reality was even more off-putting and unbelievable.

Ultimately, I can't go along with the "deepening mysteries" of Drive and the motivations of the players and their handlers, especially when there's no exploration and definition of our characters. The mysteries on Lost work because we trust in the characters and their shifting situation was originally based in something as possible as it was extraordinary (surviving a plane crash). Here, however, they are thrust on top of a shaky foundation of vague characterizations and an insistence that--trust us, we're creators!--all will be revealed later.

Sadly, I've taken this cross-country road trip for a spin around the block more than once and the only thing I can do now is to shift Drive firmly into park.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: NCIS (CBS); Dateline (NBC); Gilmore Girls (CW); George Lopez/George Lopez (ABC); American Idol (FOX)

9 pm: The Unit (CBS); Law & Order: Criminal Intent (NBC); Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search of the Next Doll (CW); Dancing with the Stars (ABC); House (FOX)

10 pm: 48 Hours Mystery (CBS); Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (NBC); Boston Legal (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: American Idol.

The seven remaining contestants compete after getting coached by Martina McBride but, with Sanjaya *STILL* in the mix, I'm more than over American Idol already.

8 pm: Gilmore Girls.

I've given up on this once-great drama, but for the few of you out there still watching, here's what's going on. On tonight's episode ("Hay Bale Maze"), Rory brings Logan to Stars Hollow for the annual spring festival, leading her to question her future with Logan. Oy, really, more questioning? Sigh.

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Eleventh hour pilot recastings aren't so rare (see the cases of Action News--a.k.a. Back to You--or Company Man for details), but it's rather sad when the reason behind recasting has nothing to do with your performance.

Jana Marie Hupp (Ed) has been cast in FOX's currently untitled Victor Fresco comedy pilot (formerly known as Deeply Irresponsible), about a 10-year-old overachiever who can't cope with life in his stressed-out, dog-eat-dog family but whose life is turned around when his eccentric, womanizing grandfather (Tom Conti) comes to live with them.

Hupp will play the boy's mother, Susan, who repeatedly finds herself crying in her sleep. She replaces Andrea Parker (Less Than Perfect, The Pretender) who was originally cast in the role (the first casting lock for the pilot, in fact) but who has had to drop out of the project, due to laryngitis.

Ouch.

Personally, I love Victor Fresco (Andy Richter Controls the Universe) and thought that this was a fun take on the familiar tropes of family sitcoms and, if it works, could be the successor to FOX's Malcolm in the Middle. Let's hope it breaks Fresco's streak of bad luck at the network...

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Why is it that Mirna consistently manages to get under my skin week after week? I wish I could channel some Zen-like calm and push her out of my thoughts but, no matter what I try, I can't get her shrill, irritating voice out of my mind.

For those of you with an aversion to Mirna (like yours truly), this week's episode of The Amazing Race offered no respite from her particular brand of hypocrisy and oddness. I'm still not sure why Dustin and Kandice (a.k.a. the "Yield Queens," according to Mirna) deciding to use the Yield last week against competitors Eric and Danielle wasn't playing the game morally, but the manipulative Mirna trying to get them bumped off a flight (or get themselves bumped up the waitlist) wasn't low-handed. Or that Danny and Oswald had the temerity to use the Fast Forward rather than just "play the game." Why do the rules only apply to the people Mirna doesn't like?

I've said it before and I'll say it again: the Yield IS part of the game; that's why it's there. Whether teams choose to use it (and possibly face "yield karma") or not is entirely up to the teams. Same with the Fast Forward. But ultimately any of these "tricks" are tools of the game, mental and physical strategies to be employed, with consequences. Will Dustin and Kandice get the same treatment next week when another Yield turns up on the Race? We'll see, but whatever happens, that yellow Yield sign is a fantastic motivator to arrive before the other teams.

Flight issues were again the buzzwords of the day as teams had a difficult time trying to depart of Kuala Lumpur for Hong Kong. Unsurprisingly, Dustin and Kandice ran afoul of Charla and Mirna in the airport as Mirna put on her best wacky accent and tried to manipulate the ticket agent into placing them higher than the Beauty Queens on the second flight out to Hong Kong. (Danny and Oswald, who managed to get on the first plane, gave them their waitlist group code.) Fortunately, the Beauty Queens held firm and both teams were able to get on the flight in the end (damn!), leaving Eric and Danielle stranded once again in last place. (Tee hee!)

Who else thought that the kung fu fighting Detour looked like a blast? Getting to scale an 11-story building while ninja-clad martial artists engage in a battle royale all around you? Sounds like an absolutely awesome way to spend the time in Hong Kong. I was surprised that, after waffling for about twenty minutes, Charla and Mirna decided to scale the building instead of searching for a matching sign, but I am amazed at the way Charla manages to push herself to complete every task (except for the sausage-eating, that is). Mirna, of course, couldn't shut up long enough to enjoy the exercise and continued to make inane comments.

Meanwhile, Danny and Oswald went for the second of only two Fast Forwards on the Race this season and were stunned to realize that they'd get to participate in a car-driving Hong Kong movie stunt. This week, Danny was in a much, much better mood than the snippiness we saw from him last week and he seemed to really enjoy flipping over in the car. Oswald, on the other hand, wanted to be far, far away from there. But I was happy to see the duo patch up their friendship and concentrate on the game. If they don't make a huge mistake next week, I really do think that they'll be racing in the final two. (Yay!)

Meanwhile, I was roaring with laughter that Charla and Mirna managed to get on the wrong ferry (going to Kowloon instead of Hong Kong Island), but they quickly realized their error (the taxi driver drove them to the island instead of the ferry) and were able to correct it. And since they did end up taking a ferry to the island (just not the one they were supposed to), they didn't incur a penalty. Double damn.

Eric and Danielle. If I were in a race for a million dollars, I'd do anything to ensure I at least get a fighting chance at making it to the final round. Not so Eric and Danielle. When faced early in the episode with getting on the last flight, Eric suggested they step in a puddle, drop their hair drier, and electrocute themselves. Some winning determination there, guy! And when they were driving around in circles in Hong Kong--in last place, no less--looking for the Jockey Club, Eric patently refused to stop and ask for directions. I realize it's a male imperative to never admit defeat in the face of being, you know, lost, but when there's a million bucks on the line, I think it's okay to suck up your male pride and ASK FOR HELP. At least he didn't make his girlfriend do the physical challenge this week.

Sadly, while I was praying for Eric and Danielle to finally get the boot, I knew it was another non-elimination round, meaning that my two least favorite teams (guess who!) are still in the race. That said, I'm thrilled that Eric and Danielle are marked for elimination and Danny and Oswald and Dustin and Kandice are in the top two. Here's to hoping that the final episode shows these two in a race to the finish...

Next week on The Amazing Race: Yield ahead as Charla and Mirna attempt to make a deal with Danny and Oswald, but the Beauty Queens are doing a little wheeling and dealing of their own and set a trap for a fellow team; meanwhile, one team ends up driving a local car onto the sidewalk. Ha ha!

What's On Tonight

8 pm: How I Met Your Mother/The New Adventures of Old Christine (CBS); Deal or No Deal (NBC); Everybody Hates Chris/All of Us (CW); Dancing with the Stars (ABC; 8-9:30 pm); Drive (FOX)

9 pm: Two and a Half Men/The King of Queens (CBS); Thank God You're Here (NBC); Girlfriends/The Game (CW); The Bachelor (ABC; 9:30-11 pm); 24 (FOX)

10 pm: CSI: Miami (CBS); My Name is Earl/My Name is Earl (NBC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: Drive.

I wasn't exactly floored (heh) by the two-hour pilot but I'll check out episode 3 before I make up my mind. On tonight's episode ("Let the Games Begin"), Alex is arrested and gets separated from Corinna, while Violet and John continue their lying streak to their loved ones back home.

8 pm: Everybody Hates Chris.

On tonight's repeat episode ("Everybody Hates Snow Day"), Chris accidentally ends up going to school on a snow day, only to get trapped inside with Principal Edwards (guest star Jason Alexander) until Rochelle and Julius are tracked down. Worst. Day. Ever.

8:30 pm: Old Christine.

On tonight's episode ("Faith Off"), one of ex-husband Richard's construction jobs is threatened by Christine's dominating nature. Pat yourself on the back for that one.

9 pm: 24.

It's Day Six of 24. While FOX doesn't give us much in the way of previews, here's what we do know: Jack is thrown by the reappearance of the thought-to-be-dead Audrey, who appears to be in Chinese custody, while CTU is forced to change their plans when Palmer stirs things up in the administration. Wake me up when Kim and the cougar show up.

10 pm: The Riches on FX.

Is anyone else watching new drama The Riches on FX? On tonight's episode ("Recklace Gardening"), DiDi's, er, special needs fiance is back in the picture and living with the Malloys, while Dale initiates a power play back at the travelers' camp.

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Proving that it's never too early to think about next year, Showtime has given early renewals to two freshman series and ordered production on a third.

The pay cabler announced that it has ordered second seasons of its tights-and-fights costume drama The Tudors, starring Jonathan Rhys Meyers, and the Ira Glass documentary series This American Life.

Season Two of The Tudors will bow in 2008, with 10 episodes all written again by series creator Michael Hirst. Production on the second season, which will recount the marriage of Henry VIII to the doomed Anne Boleyn and the birth of their daughter (and future British monarch) Elizabeth, begins in May in Dublin.

Six episodes of the brilliant documentary series, This American Life, featuring Ira Glass and his crew touring the nation in spite of everyday stories from everyday folk, have been scheduled for next year as well.

Meanwhile, Showtime has ordered a new series from British comedy doyenne Tracy Ullman. The order for State of the Union (working title) comes as a departure for the British star, who had worked with pay TV competitor HBO for a series of specials and her Tracy Takes On series over the course of the last 14 years.

Ullman's new series will offer "a satirical look at a day in the life of America," according to Variety. As always, Ullman will write/executive produce/star in the show as a variety of characters, ranging from everyday Americans to celebrities. Showtime has ordered at least five episodes of State of the Union, to launch in 2008.

Those series join new comedy Californication, starring David Duchovny, as well as new seasons of Weeds, Brotherhood, and Dexter.

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My name is Jace and I am addicted to NBC's Thursday night lineup.

Sure, there are some hiccups here and there (My Name is Earl is in dire need of help and Andy Barker P.I. was no replacement for the genius that is 30 Rock), but watching that "Comedy Done Right" lineup each week is one of the highlights of my viewing week.

Last night's installment was no exception with a back-to-the-basics episode of The Office and yet another hilarious episode of zany 30 Rock. On The Office ("Safety Training"), we saw a storyline that got the series back to its original leitmotif: the struggle of white collar office workers. Here, that initial conceit was juxtaposed with that of the plight of the blue collar warehouse workers, following an accident involving Darryl, a ladder, and a prank-loving Michael that resulted in Darryl being on crutches. The following safety training (performed first by Darryl in front of the baler in the warehouse and then by a monotone Toby upstairs) quickly escalated into a conflict of class as Kelly insulted Sea Monster and he turned around and told Ryan to shut his woman up. I'm not sure how many of us would have stood up to Sea Monster (easily a rather imposing figure) or backed off. But the conflict underscored just what works about the show: how it takes our insecurities, failings, and everyday foibles and turns them into art on a weekly basis.

The Watermelon. One of the funniest moments of the episode had to be Michael and Dwight throwing things off the roof onto a trampoline as a "test run" for Michael's "suicide" attempt. These two brain trust candidates throw a watermelon off the roof... which quickly bounces and smashes right onto Stanley's car. Without missing a beat, Michael quickly instructs Dwight to find out whose car it is and, if it is Stanley's, to contact a lawyer who deals with hate crimes. It was a subtle jab at racially offensive stereotypes that paid off with the brilliant button at the end of the episode: about five seconds of Stanley (Leslie David Baker) staring at his watermelon-caked vehicle in disgust. (That said, I thought the whole standing in the parking lot shouting into the megaphone bit dragged on for way too long and added nothing to the show; it was comedy completely thwarted.)

Andy Bernard. I was really worried about how Andy would fit into The Office, following his breakdown in "The Return," and return this week. But I have to say that the new Andy (a.k.a. "Drew") fits in better than I expected. The writers have (so far) wisely toned down his irritating personality; he's still socially awkward and weird but in a completely different, less manic, way. Loved the shun/unshun/reshun bit from Dwight as well.

Pam/Jim/Karen. Without making the love triangle the focus of the episode, writer B.J. Novak did manage to get one or two nice moments in there, as the betting gag begins with the counting of the jelly beans on Pam's desk. Jim guesses 50, which Kevin thinks is unfair, since he's spent so much time at Pam's desk over the years. Cut to Karen, who shrinks just a little bit in her own skin.

Creed. Can we please have more Creed every week? Loved the fact that they switched a potato for his apple and he didn't even blink. And that he seemed to be peeing right next to the bouncy castle right before everyone came out to the parking lot. Classic.

Meanwhile, over on 30 Rock (now conveniently on right after The Office), Liz found herself the third wheel in her own relationship with new boyfriend Floyd, thanks to a shaken Jack who, after learning that the microwave oven division would be taken away from him, clings to Floyd and begins to stalk the pair. ("The call is coming from inside the house!")

Guest stars. Rip Torn AND Emily Mortimer in one episode? What more can you say? 30 Rock has excelled at integrating unexpected guest stars into its episodes without making it feel contrived or gimmicky (like, say, Will & Grace). Still, last week's star turn by Will Arnett will forever remain the pinnacle of guest star achievement.

Phoebe. Can Emily Mortimer stick around for a while? I never thought that the show's writers could find Jack a female counterpart (or "Floydster" if you will) as self-absorbed as he is, yet with Christie's auction house employee Phoebe ("You probably don't remember me.") and her avian bone syndrome, they've struck the jackpot. I didn't expect Jack to propose like that but he's always willing to outdo Liz Lemon, especially given the state of his life at the moment, following the disaster of the Rockefeller Center Salute to Fireworks. But sweet that he would buy back his ex-wife's engagement ring from that "anonymous Arab" for Phoebe.

Tracy Jordan. I will just come out and say it: I think Tracy is one of the best comedy characters on television, given the fact that you just never know what is going to come out of his mouth. Favorite line of the night: "Can I offer you some grenadine or fried rice?" The Jefferson trailer was as hysterical as it was anachronistic (loved the fact that Grizz still had his bluetooth earpiece on and that half the scenes were shot in front of modern office towers as runners pass by in the background) and allowed Tracy to showcase his OTT acting and bizarro vision. And who can pass up the opportunity to star as a dog in something called "Fat Bitch"?

All in all, another fantastic episode. I might be one of the few people who find Tina Fey's Liz Lemon endearing and I love her fated-to-be-doomed relationship with the unfortunately named Floyd (SNL's Jason Sudeikis). Meanwhile, Jane Krakowski's Jenna is nowhere to be seen again. Something tells me the rarely lucky in love Liz would be rubbing her relationship with Floyd right in Jenna's face. But, ah, the nature of actors' episodic contracts...

Next week on 30 Rock ("Cleveland"), Floyd asks Liz if she would ever think about leaving Manhattan and moving with him to the Midwest, while Jack takes off with Phoebe for Paris and perhaps a quickie wedding?

What's On Tonight

8 pm: The Ghost Whisperer (CBS); Identity (NBC); WWE Friday Night SmackDown (CW; 8-10 pm); Grey's Anatomy (ABC); White Chicks (FOX; 8-10 pm)

9 pm: Shark (CBS); Raines (NBC); Wife Swap (ABC)

10 pm: NUMB3RS (CBS); Law & Order (NBC); 20/20 (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

10 pm: Clatterford on BBC America (9 pm ET)

It's the sixth episode of Jennifer Saunders' new series Clatterford. On tonight's episode, the ladies get a visit from the Main Wheel of the Guild Lady Anne Crump, who could shut them down completely.

10:40 pm: Little Britain on BBC America (9:40 pm ET)

Another chance to catch the antics of David Walliams and Matt Lucas as they skewer stereotypes in this hilarious sketch comedy show.

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These days, to say the networks are getting as trigger-happy as a character on Lost is a bit of an understatement.

With only one episode left to air, In Case of Emergency has been pulled off of the schedule, effective immediately.

The news comes as a bit of surprise as the freshman series, which starred David Arquette, Jonathan Silverman, Greg Germann, Kelly Hu, and Lori Loughlin, aired its penultimate episode last night. In terms of ratings, it tied for last place in the hour with a repeat episode of The Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Doll. (Ouch.)

To fill the void left by the now-departed In Case of Emergency, ABC will fill its timeslot next week with a repeat of last night's episode of Lost (following a second window strategy employed earlier this season). Encores of Lost will fill the timeslot for the remainder of the season.

More Lost? Bring it on, ABC.

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Oh. My. God. Now why did they have to go and do a thing like that for?

Just when I had fallen completely in love with Dr. Juliet Burke over the course of last night's brilliant episode of Lost ("One of Us"), Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse had to go and pull the rug out from underneath me again. One of the joys of watching this series is that nothing is ever, ever what it seems and, thanks to that magical narrative device known as the flashback, the audience's perceptions of past events on the show can be changed over and over again as little pieces of the truth are revealed.

Is Juliet evil as that final scene between her and Ben would seem to indicate? I don't think so. Nothing on this series is ever quite as black or white as it initially appears to be. Throughout last night's episode Juliet showed us that her main characteristic is that of self-preservation. She wants off of this island and she's willing to do whatever it takes to do that, even if it means siding with the devil himself.

Juliet admitted that she dragged Kate into the jungle and then handcuffed herself to her; if questioned by Kate, she would say that she did it to gain her trust as she didn't want to be left behind. She was given a gas mask by Ben (and certainly not gassed) and could have been that mysterious blonde woman we saw before the attack on Kate in last week's episode. As for helping Claire, it certainly did manage to turn the tide of suspicion against her and got the Losties to start trusting her... fast. Of course, none of them know that the real Claire got mysteriously ill is that the Others activated the implant inside her, causing her to become wildly symptomatic and planted the serum in Ethan's old drop point (marked with a symbol suspiciously similar to that branded on Juliet). As for the Others, they plan to rendezvous with Juliet in a week, leading me to wonder what exactly her mission is. She's managed to infiltrate their camp (much as Ethan did or her lover Goodwin did with the Tailies). Is she after the now-pregnant Sun?

As much as the episode's ending made me want to scream at the television, Lindelof and Cuse did a fantastic job of making me fall deeper in love with Juliet's character. Whether it was her frustration at being forced to say goodbye to her sister Rachel, the way she downed the tranquilizer-laced orange juice they offered her at Herarat Aviation (an anagram for A Variation Earth), or the way she transformed from a mousy researcher into a sexy woman (and ended up in bed with Goodwin), Juliet is a complicated beast. She bravely squared off against Sayid and Sawyer for the serum briefcase in the jungle, turning their guilt over the murders they committed over the years against them, but then walked off, a look of abject terror on her face. And she turned on Ben when he once again refused to let her off the island, knocking a glass out of his hand and screaming in his face. Juliet is one person you do not want to mess with.

As for the Others, they proved that they can make good on some of their miraculous claims. Mikhail really did have a huge data network he used to communicate with the mainland at The Flame... which Ben used to show Juliet that her sis Rachel was not only alive--her cancer in remission completely--but she did give birth to a baby boy, Julian. And somehow, in some way, the enigmatic Jacob did manage to cure Rachel's cancer, as promised by Ben. But why--if none of the Others ever got cancer--did Ben develop a huge spinal tumor? And why was he so scared by that turn of events? But for all of their promises and miracles, the Others can't seem to procreate (the pregnant mothers all die before giving birth) as something odd happens during conception. Which explains why they were so interested in Claire and her baby (though I am still not sure why Ethan had to hang Charlie along the way) and why they've been taking children. The future of their race (and way of living) depends on new members, whether they be born (thanks to Juliet) or taken and conscripted.

In any event, I cannot wait to see what Juliet and Ben have up their collective sleeve and just what Juliet is doing in camp. And, maybe, just maybe, the writers will prove my love for Juliet to be a good thing after all. Or will she turn on us completely and wind up killing Charlie as revenge for his murder of Ethan?

Next week on Lost ("Catch-22"), Desmond convinces Charlie, Hurley, and Jin to accompany him on a journey across the jungle, while Kate turns to Sawyer after catching Jack alone with Juliet. Can it be Wednesday already?

What's On Tonight

8 pm: Survivor: Fiji (CBS); My Name is Earl/The Office (NBC); Smallville (CW); Ugly Betty (ABC); Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? (FOX)

9 pm: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (CBS); 30 Rock/Scrubs (NBC); The BRICK Awards (CW); Grey's Anatomy (ABC); Trading Spouses: Meet Your New Mommy (FOX)

10 pm: Shark (CBS); ER (NBC); Notes from the Underbelly (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: My Name is Earl.

Earl returns will a brand new episode tonight ("Harassed a Reporter"), in which Randy comes to realize the power of karma when he tries to pull away from Earl. Is it just me or does this show seriously need to step it up, given the strenghts of fellow NBC laughers The Office and 30 Rock?

8:30 pm: The Office.

On tonight's episode ("Safety Training"), Andy Bernard returns to work at Dunder-Mifflin following the completion of his anger-management classes, while Michael and Dwight attempt to illustrate the dangers of the workplace.

9 pm: 30 Rock.

On tonight's installment ("Corporate Crush"), Liz Lemon feels secure (uh-oh) in new relationship with boyfriend Floyd (SNL's Jason Sudeikis), while an NBC executive (guest star Rip Torn) warns Jack that he's watching him.

9:30 pm: Scrubs.

On a very special episode of Scrubs, members of the staff say goodbye to Nurse Roberts and begin to incorporate some of her lessons into their lives.

10:30 pm: This American Life on Showtime.

Based on the popular NPR radio series, this brilliant new Showtime drama seeks to capture first person accounts of single themes. On tonight's episode ("The Camera Man"), a segment on cartoonist Chris Ware and a filmmaker who documents his alcoholic stepfather.

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Wowsers. What a difference a day can make.

Just a day after attending the audience run through on FOX's comedy pilot Action News (now being renamed with the less on-the-nose title of Back to You), I was shocked to learn that not one, but two actors had been replaced in the days leading up to Friday's scheduled taping of the Action News/Back to You pilot. (The series itself already has a 13-episode commitment on FOX for the fall.)

Paul Campbell (of Battlestar Galactica and Nobody's Watching) and Aimee Garcia (George Lopez), who played station news director Nate and weatherwoman Montana respectively, are both off the series and are being replaced by Josh Gad and Ayda Field.

Gad (21) will replace Paul Campbell as the young corporate news director; Field (Studio 60), who also appears in the untitled Gabe Sachs/Jeff Judah comedy pilot at ABC this season, will replace Aimee Garcia as the former child beauty pageant winner turned meteorologist.

Both Gad and Field will serve as guest stars in the pilot and could be later bumped to regulars on the series.

While I'm shocked that a recast would happen so quickly after a full run-through (and a day before shooting), stranger things have happened. I'll be curious to see how Gad and Field fare in the roles and whether Campbell manages to pop up on another project before pilot season ends. It would be tragic if nobody really was watching this talented actor.

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Kelsey Grammer. Patricia Heaton.

Two actors on two of the biggest sitcoms from the last ten years. Push them together and you could have a clash of temperaments. Or the expert sparks that come from a perfect pairing of disparate personalities.

FOX's new comedy series, Action News, fortunately has the latter effect, pairing the erudite Grammer with the down-to-earth Heaton as two local newscasters with some unresolved history who are forced, once again, to work together delivering some, er, gripping local stories.

I had the opportunity to attend the audience run-through on Action News' pilot yesterday on the FOX lot (though the fate of said pilot is a foregone conclusion, as the comedy has already been ordered to series for the fall) and am happy to report that the series has more than met my expectations, based on the phenomenal script by series creators Steve Levitan (Just Shoot Me) and Christopher Lloyd (Frasier) and the always witty direction by legendary comedy director James Burrows.

Grammer is magnetic as fallen anchorman Chuck Tatham, in the role of a womanizing blowhard light years away from Frasier Crane. He's egotistical in an entirely different sort of way, a preening alpha male who doesn't quite realize that, in returning to the Buffalo news station where he got his start, he's admitted that he's a has-been. Heaton plays his co-anchor Kelly, who had grown used to having the spotlight since Chuck left for greener pastures. It was awfully cold there in his shadow, after all.

When Chuck returns to Buffalo after a widely disseminated on-air meltdown (involving unleashing a torrential storm of obscenities onto a moronic weatherwoman, which pops up on YouTube), the two are forced to work together again, but naturally the past has an uncanny way of catching up to everyone.

Rounding out the stellar cast is Battlestar Galactica's Paul Campbell (yes, that Paul Campbell, also of Nobody's Watching) as in-way-over-his-head news director Nate, Ty Burrell (Friends with Money) as long-suffering reporter Roger (passed over once again for the anchor slot), the incandescent Fred Willard (take your pick of any Christopher Guest film) as sports anchor Marsh McGinley, Aimee Garcia (George Lopez) as sultry Latina weather anchor Montana Stevens, and Laura Marano (The Sarah Silverman Program) as Kelly's daughter Gracie. [UPDATE: Campbell and Garcia have since been replaced by Josh Gad and Ayda Field.]

Workplace comedies may be a dime a dozen this pilot season, but Action News definitely stands out from the pack, presenting a smartly funny comedy with some emotional heft. Grammer and Heaton are perfectly balanced as a leading pair, with the right amount of chemistry and hostility (along with some battle scars) to make their relationship believable. Action News doesn't shy away from its prickly personalities, instead it takes those flaws and makes them strangely endearing, whether it might be Chuck's refusal to learn anyone's name, Nate's near-panic, Roger's tendency to drop things (in an ongoing gag, his klutziness is blamed on frostbite from reporting outside one too many courthouses in the winter), Montana's theory that she can't feel safe in the workplace unless the alpha male is trying to sleep with her.

Home might be the one place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in, but Action News wisely asks its audience what the price that homecoming might have. Fortunately, the answer to that question is a hysterical and entertaining comedy that I already plan to add to my TiVo Season Pass.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: Jericho (CBS); Friday Night Lights (NBC); America's Next Top Model (CW); George Lopez/George Lopez (ABC); 'Til Death (FOX)

9 pm: Criminal Minds (CBS); Crossing Jordan (ABC); Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll (CW); According to Jim/In Case of Emergency (ABC); American Idol (FOX)

10 pm: CSI: New York (CBS); Medium (NBC); Lost (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: America's Next Top Model.

On tonight's episode ("The Girl Who Impresses Pedro"), the girls are given a quick crash course in acting by Efren Ramirez (yes, THAT Pedro) and Tia Mowry before appearing with past ANTM contestants in a photo shoot recalling scandalous moments of the past.

10 pm: Lost.

I can't tell you how happy I am that Lost is back on the air again. On tonight's episode ("One of Us"), it's reunion time as Jack finally makes it back to the beach, but his fellow castaways are less than pleased when they see that Juliet is with him, we finally get some answers about Juliet's past (and get to see that submarine), while Claire is suddenly stricken with a mysterious illness. Uh-oh.

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While it not might be the renewal they were hoping for, fans of NBC's critically praised (if ratings-starved) drama Friday Night Lights might have something to hope for.

NBC has ordered six additional scripts of the football-themed drama from Imagine and NBC Universal. The news comes on the heels of an additional six script order for fellow NBC on-the-bubble drama Medium, which received a script order earlier this week.

While fans shouldn't stop their petitions to save the series quite yet, the script order does potentially bode well for a second season order on Friday Night Lights.

Stay tuned.

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It's no mystery why Andy Barker P.I. has disappeared from NBC's Thursday night lineup.

After airing four episodes of the Conan O'Brien-produced single camera comedy--which starred Andy Richter and Arrested Development's Tony Hale--NBC has decided to pull the struggling comedy from the lineup, effective immediately.

NBC will therefore return Scrubs to the Thursday night "comedy done right" lineup sooner than anticipated, while shunting Andy Barker to the death knell of Saturday night burnoff.

Sure, the series only had one episode left to air--scheduled for this Thursday night--and a "bonus" unaired episode available for streaming at NBC.com or for download at iTunes, but apparently even one or two episodes of a turkey like this (not to mention a poisoned chicken of a series) is too many for NBC. The remaining two episodes of Andy Barker P.I. will be quickly burned off between 8-9 pm this Saturday.

Sorry, Andy, you may have once saved the universe, but sitcom success just wasn't in the cards once again.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: NCIS (CBS); Dateline (NBC); Gilmore Girls (CW); George Lopez/According to Jim (ABC); American Idol (FOX)

9 pm: The Unit (CBS); Law & Order: Criminal Intent (NBC); Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search of the Next Doll (CW); Dancing with the Stars (ABC); House (FOX)

10 pm: Criminal Minds (CBS); Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (NBC); Boston Legal (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: American Idol.

The eight remaining contestants compete after getting coached by former tabloid magnet Jennifer Lopez but, with Sanjaya still in the mix, methinks I'll be tuning out for good now.

8 pm: Gilmore Girls.

I've given up on this once-great drama, but for the few of you out there still watching, here's what's going on. On tonight's repeat episode ("Farewell, My Pet"), Richard begins his recovery following his bypass surgery; Rory discovers that Richard's economics class is now being taught by an atractive (and younger) prof; Lorelai and Sookie plan a funeral for Michel's beloved dog. (Remember when Michel *actually* had something to do on this show?)

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Wow. I never thought that Eric was the epitome of refined wit, but it blew my mind watching last night's episode of The Amazing Race just how misogynistic and repulsive this guy truly is. Sure, I should have had an inkling of that fact from his advice to his bleached blonde girlfriend Danielle to "use your boobs" during a Roadblock, but last night definitely summed up his entire persona, idiotic t-shirts and all.

I'd like to point out first of all that the Yield is part of the Race itself and has been for quite some time. It's as much a part of the game as the Detours and Roadblocks (and, yes, the dreaded Intersection); that said, I never understand why people get so angry at being Yielded. Frustrating? You bet, especially when there's a possibility that you could be in last place. I get it. But to become so irate that you refer to the people who yielded you (that would be Beauty Queens Dustin and Kandice) on national television as "dirty, dirty hookers" and "dirty pirate hookers" steps over a line into poor sportsmanship, mean-spiritedness, and misogyny. There, I've said it. I really do think it is one of the lowest points in any season of TAR and made me question Danielle's sanity if she were to stay with this guy when all of this is over.

Let's step back for a second. Last night's episode saw the teams travel to Kuala Lampur, Malaysia via several different flights and connections. And sadly, Uchenna and Joyce took the riskiest method possible, leaving themselves only one hour to make an international connection. Unfortunately, they arrived in Frankfurt and did not have enough time to check into the flight and were delayed until the next day, sealing their fate. Charla and Mirna meanwhile used the hotel internet (after refusing to let Eric and Danielle get onto one of the two computers they were using) to secure the earliest possible flight, something the hotel concierge and the airline representative seemed unable to do for Team Cha Cha Cha or Uchenna and Joyce.

Charla and Mirna blew their lead of several hours pretty quickly by opting for the cookie Detour (how many times have I said not to do the Detour that involves searching?), which forced teams to eat their way through 600 boxes of cookies in search of one that had a black licorice center (yum!). The cousins spent so many hours there that Dustin and Kandice managed to catch up and wisely picked the batik Detour, which they finished quickly, leaving Charla and Mirna in their dust... in fact, they completed the Roadblock (which involved collecting residents' used newspaper on bicycle) before Charla and Mirna even showed up. Brava, girls.

Personally, I think it was smart for the Beauty Queens to yield Eric and Danielle. At that point, they had no idea where they were or how far behind them the gruesome twosome were, so it's just smart gamesmanship, rather than pointlessly making an enemy, according to Danielle. Correct me if I'm wrong but is this a race to win a million dollars or to make friends? Besides, you mean to tell me, that Eric wouldn't have yielded Charla and Mirna if they had gotten to the Yield first? Puhlease. He would have done so in a heartbeat, given his punitive actions at the airport earlier.

Meanwhile, I was shocked to see Danny and Oswald, easily the two of the calmest participants, nearly at each other's throats. Oswald was entirely right to be suspicious of the cookie Detour and Danny was acting petulant for no reason whatsoever. But guys, you need to stick to a decision; you can't waffle back and forth between two Detours. Fortunately, in the end, they decided to go for the batik challenge instead... and, even more fortunately, Uchenna and Joyce were a day behind the other teams. You can't put a price on that kind of luck.

Next week on The Amazing Race: Dustin and Kandice clash with Charla and Mirna at an airline ticket counter, a challenge forces teams to act like kung-fu fighters, and everyone gangs up on the Beauty Queens in an attempt to eliminate them from the Race. Will it work? (Let's hope not.)

What's On Tonight

8 pm: How I Met Your Mother/The New Adventures of Old Christine (CBS); Deal or No Deal (NBC); Everybody Hates Chris/All of Us (CW); Dancing with the Stars (ABC; 8-9:30 pm); House (FOX)

9 pm: Two and a Half Men/The King of Queens (CBS); Thank God You're Here (NBC); Girlfriends/The Game (CW); The Bachelor (ABC; 9:30-11 pm); 24 (FOX)

10 pm: CSI: Miami (CBS); Thank God You're Here (NBC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: Everybody Hates Chris.

On tonight's repeat episode ("Everybody Hates Hall Monitors"), Tanya learns that her friends are hanging out with her just to get close to Drew, while Chris makes the uncomfortable realization that his classmates don't take him seriously when he becomes hall monitor. Word to the wise, Chris: hall monitor has never equalled popularity. Ever.

8:30 pm: Old Christine.

On tonight's episode ("The Real Thing"), Christine once again proves why she should not be allowed near any electrical equipment when she sends an email meant for BFF Barb to all of the parents at Ritchie's school. Ouch.

9 pm: 24.

It's Day Six of 24. While FOX doesn't give us much in the way of previews, here's what we do know: the administration continues their offensive maneuver, Jack comes face to face with Fayed (finally) and there's yet another shocking development. Wake me up when it's Day Seven.

10 pm: The Riches on FX.

Is anyone else watching new drama The Riches on FX? On tonight's episode ("The Big Floss"), Wayne is forced to cover up one of Hugh's, er, shadier deals, while Dahlia tries to find ways of amusing herself. Just stay away from the meth, Dahling.

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True Blood has found its leading man in British actor Stephen Moyer.

Moyer will play the 166-year-old enigmatic vampire Bill Compton, opposite Anna Paquin, who plays telepathic waitress Sookie Stackhouse in the drama created by Six Feet Under's Alan Ball, who wrote and will direct the HBO pilot, which is based on Charlaine Harris' Southern Vampire book series.

Moyer, of course, was cast earlier this season in FOX drama pilot NSA Innocent, which has since be refashioned as Company Man. Moyer's role was recently rewritten and the part recast, with Jason Behr now starring.

It was only a matter of time before some other production snatched Moyer (NY-LON) in a season where British actors seem to be all the rage. The casting isn't Moyer's first US casting gig; he recently starred in USA's limited series The Starter Wife.

Also cast: Brook Kerr (Passions), who will play Sookie's best friend, the outspoken Tara Thornton.

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I don't know about you, but I've been salivating over the sheer possibility of an eventual US DVD release of seminal Britcom series Spaced, starring Shaun of the Dead's Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, and Jessica Stevenson, Mark Heap, Katy Carmichael, and Julia Deakin.

Sadly, it looks like a US release isn't in the cards... at least not any time soon.

I was lucky enough to attend a screening of Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright's new film Hot Fuzz (if you're a fan of Shaun or of Spaced, run--don't walk--to see this hilarious film as soon as it opens in the US) this weekend.

As a HUGE, slightly obsessive fan of Spaced (which recently finished airing its second and final season on BBC America), I'm always on the lookout for news on a DVD release. (I met Pegg at the BAFTA/LA Emmys tea party last summer and stunned him by even having heard of--and being a fan of--Spaced.)

However, when asked about the possibility of a Spaced DVD release, Wright gave the audience that precious old gem about music clearance issues. Specifically, what's preventing a US release is the clearing of just five or six music tracks.

While Wright could simply remove the offending songs and replace them with music that could more easily be cleared, he and Pegg (who co-wrote the series with co-star Jessica Stevenson) have agreed that they would rather continue pursuing clearance rather than exchanging the tracks, which they feel are instrumental (no pun intended) to the plot.

So until those tracks clear, we're not getting Spaced on DVD anytime soon. Unless one buys a multi-region DVD player, that is.

Tempting.

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Looking to escape from your job and travel the world for a few weeks and be on television?

Longtime readers know that I am a sucker for a few things: anything vaguely Arrested Development-related, the works of Joss Whedon, the employees of Dunder-Mifflin (and The Girly Show) and cable series 5 Takes.

For those of you not in the know, 5 Takes is a highly addictive travel reality series on the Travel Channel that shoves five travel journalists into unusual and out-of-the-ordinary experiences in far-off lands (except for last season which saw five Australian and Asian journalists travel around the US) as they record their varying experiences and live together. It's a fun, often eye-opening series and nothing like The Real World, whatsoever.

It appears that the fourth season of 5 Takes is headed to Latin America and they are currently looking for five travel journalists/hosts between the ages of 30-39 (slightly older than previous installments) to explore the countries of Latin America whilst making video diary entries and blogging about their experiences... and live on $50US a day. No experience required.

Filming begins next month and goes through July 16th and the Travel Channel is casting as we speak (with open calls in New York and Chicago), so if you've got a case of wanderlust, some sharp hosting and writing skills, and a love for new experiences and people, get in touch with the Travel Channel ASAP.

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It's impossible to feel complete without a brand-new episode of The Office on Thursday nights so until now I feel like I've been walking around missing some crucial piece of myself.

I have to say, I thought that last night's episode of The Office ("The Negotiation") was well worth the wait. Sure, I had caught about 20 minutes or so of this week's installment about a month ago at the Paley Fest, but those wily producers had managed to cut out all of the Jim/Pam/Roy storyline to keep us guessing.

The Altercation. I'm actually glad that things nearly came to blows with Roy and Jim. The resentment Roy has for Jim has been bubbling up as of late and came to a head when Pam came clean about the fact that she and Jim had kissed before their cancelled wedding. That said, I am glad Roy's punch didn't actually connect with Jim's face (messy, messy) and that the "attack" was averted by an always vigilant Dwight, armed with his pepper spray. That he managed to spray Roy, Pam, and himself in the process made the entire affair that much more hysterical/painful to watch. Good to see that his days as a volunteer deputy really paid off, though Dwight sort of lost his crime-fighting cred when he pepper sprayed Andy, to boot. Harsh.

The Kiss. Jim is finally aware of Dwight and Angela's long-standing affair and his gift to Dwight (for, you know, saving his life) is to remain silent about what he saw. And when you think about it, isn't that the absolute perfect gift for Jim to give to Dwight? I loved how Angela was getting all tingly listening to stories of Dwight's heroics and kept demanding to hear the story from everyone's POV (well, except for Creed, who came up with a truly bizarre and out there--not to mention completely wrong--version of events). When will the producers realize we love Angela and bump actress Angela Kinsey to a full cast member already?

Miss Terious. I loved the fact that Michael "accidentally cross-dressed" on the same day as he prepares (using Wikipedia) to use some mind-game tactics on Darryl, who is seeking a raise now that Roy has been fired (and yes, David Denman fans, what I am hearing is that last night's episode will likely be his last appearance on the series). I seriously loved every single element of the scene and thought the wardrobe department did an amazing job in preparing Michael's feminine suit, from the buttons "on the wrong side" to the magenta lining of the jacket, and the fact that the pants did not, as Pam astutely noticed, have any pockets. Additionally, the shot of Michael wearing the same suit as the woman sitting next to him in the Dunder-Mifflin offices was priceless. It's the small moments like these that give the show its punch.

Darryl. I'll just say it now. Craig Robinson is a genius. I thought the scenes between him and Steve Carrell rank up there with some of the funniest of the season, as Michael attempts to use Wikipedia mind tricks against Darryl, as he casually, effortlessly gains the upper-hand against "Mike." And snapping those pics with his cell phone of Michael's woman's suit and paycheck were the comedic icing on the cake.

Roy and Pam. Was anyone else heartbroken by the scene between Pam and Roy at the end of the episode? In an episode filled with blink-and-you'll-miss-them moments (like when Oscar protectively stood up with Angela to hand Roy his last paycheck), this was the piece de resistance of quiet, understated emotion, as Roy apologizes to Pam for everything he's done and Pam admits that the kiss between her and Jim wasn't the only reason they called off the wedding. It was a beautifully shot, tenderly acted scene and I will admit that the big lug made me care for him a little bit more when he incredulously asked why Pam wasn't even going to try to date Jim.

Would someone shake some sense into Pam already? I am sure that the producers are setting up some big reveal at the end of the season in which Pam and Jim finally get together (sadly, I'm sure, leading to the demise of the Jim/Karen romance), but Pam seriously needs a wake up call. If Roy nearly killing Jim wasn't it, I don't know what will snap her out of her complacency.

Who do you want Jim to end up with? Are you on Team Karen or Team Pam?

Next week on The Office ("Safety Training"), Andy Bernard returns to work at Dunder-Mifflin following the completion of his anger-management classes, while Michael and Dwight attempt to illustrate the dangers of the workplace.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: The Ghost Whisperer (CBS); Identity (NBC); WWE Friday Night SmackDown (CW; 8-10 pm); Grey's Anatomy (ABC); House (FOX)

9 pm: Close to Home (CBS); Raines (NBC); Wife Swap (ABC); The Wedding Bells (FOX)

10 pm: NUMB3RS (CBS); Law & Order (NBC); 20/20 (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

10 pm: Clatterford on BBC America (9 pm ET)

It's the fifth episode of Jennifer Saunders' new series Clatterford. On tonight's episode, the ladies collect good and decorate the church for the Harvest Festival.

10:40 pm: Little Britain on BBC America (9:40 pm ET)

Another chance to catch the antics of David Walliams and Matt Lucas as they skewer stereotypes in this hilarious sketch comedy show.

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Like many fans of Bravo's catwalks-and-catfights reality series Project Runway, I could not imagine the show without erudite and dapper mentor Tim Gunn along for the ride. After all, while I love Heidi, Nina, and Michael, Tim is really the heart and soul of the sartorial series.

So I was overjoyed to learn today that Tim has signed on to return for the fourth season of Project Runway, along with Heidi Klum, Nina Garcia, and Michael Kors as the troika of over-critical judges who will destroy the dreams of more than a few would-be designers while casting one into the spotlight.

Harvey Weinstein made the announcement earlier today in a joint statement representing The Weinstein Company, Miramax, and Bravo.

"I am thrilled to make it official that I will be back in the workroom for season four of Project Runway," said Gunn in a statement. "We're in the midst of casting the designers now and I can already see that it will be another amazing season."

It's still under debate just when Runway-crazed fans will get to see Season Four, but insiders point to a June production start... and then there is the not-so-small matter of New York Fashion Week in September. Could Bravo still manage to get the series on the air for a Summer launch? Stay tuned.

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I am convinced more than ever now that Lost is truly on a roll again, having found its third season groove that not only propels the plot (and the characters' backstories) forward bit by bit but also reminds me of the setup and tension of Season One. And that, my friends, is a Very Good Thing.

On last night's episode of Lost ("Left Behind"), there were several moments that had me sit up an cheer (and a couple that had me scared out of my wits), which is truly the sign of a great Lost installment. And while it might have been Kate's flashback this week, the episode advanced the stories of not just Kate, but Locke, Sawyer, Juliet, and Jack. And we learned that the Others--or Juliet anyway--don't know any more about the monster/security system that the Losties do. Curious.

Locke. Where to begin? Following the events of "The Man From Tallahassee," Locke seems to have clearly joined up with the Others now, or at least he's gone to great lengths to make it seem that way. (Hell, if your dad, responsible for trying to kill you, turned up at the isolated mystery island you were stranded on, you'd probably do something crazy too.) I was shocked that the Others told Locke exactly what Kate had done (the whole killing her lousy stepdad thing) and that they allowed him to say goodbye before they all seemingly disappeared into the ether. (But what exactly happened to his hand?) Where did the Others go all of the sudden? Why leave the village?

Whatever the reason, every single man, woman, and child living in the Barracks is suddenly gone. Jack and Sayid are gassed and left to their own devices within the commune; Kate and Juliet are dumped in the jungle and left to fend for themselves. But why exactly? Leave it to the cunning Juliet to handcuff herself to Kate (remember those cuffs, Katie?) so that Kate couldn't take off and leave her behind (definitely the theme of the evening). So the two begin a trek back to the Barracks to find Jack (though Juliet tells Kate exactly why Jack told her not to come back from him), winding their way through the jungle. Did I mention how Juliet taking down Kate at the beginning of the episode was a thing of absolute beauty? 'Cause it really was. I thought it was a blast seeing these two extremely strong-willed women being forced to work together to survive. Especially since they are on opposite sides of a rather warped love... square?

Flashback: Kate, in attempting to communicate her estranged mother, runs into Cassidy (Kim Dickens), Sawyer's former girlfriend-turned-mark, in the past. Cassidy's turned into a bit of a con artiste herself these days, hawking fake gold necklaces at a gas station in a con that reminded me an awful lot of Sawyer himself. (Hmmm, so Anthony Cooper turned Sawyer into a con man, and Sawyer in turn turned Cassidy into one.) The two bond over their shared hatred of people who betray them and Cassidy agrees to help Kate (a.k.a. Lucy, using yet another saint's name, a la Simon Templar), who learns that her mother thinks she's evil and warns her that the next time she sees her the first thing she'll do is call for help (which she does, in the hospital). Oh, and Cassidy wasn't lying when she tells Sawyer that he has a daughter; she tells Kate here that she's pregnant and Sawyer is the baby daddy.

Meanwhile, Kate and Juliet encounter the monster itself. What terrified me even more than the sudden downpour and that familiar clicking noise was the fact that Juliet didn't seem to know what the black smoke was. (Terrifying.) Later, she admits that the Others are aware of the "monster" but they don't know anything about it, except that it doesn't like their sonic fences. (Hmmm, were they built expressly to keep that thing out?) I'm still trying to puzzle out exactly what the monster did to Juliet--it almost seemed to be photographing her with that bright light--as it didn't seem to "recognize" her.

Bravo to Juliet for activating the fence to keep that thing away from them (curious that she knew the code), but it raises the question that, if the fence were turned off, is Patchy McPatches (a.k.a. Mikhail) really dead? Or did the Others just turn off the fence as they left the Barracks, dumping Kate and Juliet on the other side? Either way, the black smoke doesn't like sonic-based attacks or when people (like Juliet or Eko and Locke before her) stare it down. Very, very curious.

I loved the Hurley-Sawyer storyline last night ("You, sir, Hugo, are rotund"), even if I knew right from the start that there was no vote and Sawyer wouldn't be, in some Survivor-like twist, banished from the tribe and forced to live half a mile down the beach. But still, you have to give Hurley credit for forcing Sawyer to be nice to everyone in the only language he understands (self-preservation), in order to mold him into more of a leader. The scene between him and Claire was hysterical, with Sawyer saying how much less wrinkly Aaron is now. Aw, sweet. Still, while just about everyone came around to the "new" Sawyer, there's still one whose trust he doesn't have: Sun. Still, the whole setup and payoff of the storyline reminded me of Season One again; hell, they even name-checked Steve.

Next week on Lost ("One of Us"), it's reunion time as Jack finally makes it back to the beach, but his fellow castaways are less than pleased when they see that Juliet is with him, we finally get some answers about Juliet's past (and get to see that submarine), while Claire is suddenly stricken with a mysterious illness. Uh-oh.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: Survivor: Fiji (CBS); The Office (8-8:42 pm)/30 Rock (8:42-9:21 pm) (NBC); Smallville (CW); Ugly Betty (ABC); Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? (FOX)

9 pm: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (CBS); Scrubs (9:21-9:54 pm)/Andy Barker, P.I. (9:54-10:23 pm)(NBC); Supernatural (CW); Grey's Anatomy (ABC); Family Guy/American Dad (FOX)

10 pm: Shark (CBS); My Name is Earl (NBC; 10:23-11 pm); October Road (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching


8-8:42 pm: The Office.

Not only is tonight a brand new episode of The Office, it's also a super-sized extravaganza that yours truly got a sneak peek at a month ago. On tonight's episode ("The Negotiation"), Darryl meets with Michael to try to get a pay increase, while Jim deals with the fallout from Pam's (inane) confession to Roy that she kissed Jim. It all starts here!

8 pm: Ugly Betty.

On tonight's repeat episode ("Fake Plastic Snow"), Betty realizes her feelings for Henry and tries to avoid him at the Mode Christmas Party, while Marc is fearful that Wilhelmina wants him dead. Good times.

8:42-9:21 pm: 30 Rock.

GOB Alert! The show I can't get off my mind grapes (finally) returns tonight with a super-sized episode! On tonight's installment ("Fireworks"), Will Arnett guest stars as a West Coast NBC exec who threatens Jack's job, leading Jack to enlist the aid of one Kenneth. Meanwhile, Tracy gets served with paternity papers. I cannot wait!

9:21-9:54 pm: Scrubs.

On tonight's super-sized episode ("My Long Goodbye"), everyone copes with the possibility of Nurse Roberts' death in their unique ways. Me, I'd probably make her a face cake.

9:54-10:23 pm: Andy Barker, P.I.

On the series' fourth episode ("Dial M for Laptop"), Andy's laptop disappears, leading him to race to file his father-in-law's tax return, only to expose a credit card scam in the process.

10:23-11 pm: My Name is Earl.

On a repeat episode of Earl ("Robbed a Stoner Blind"), Earl is tempted to save the world from global warming (not that certain people believe it exists) when he and Randy discover someone on Earl's list (guest star Christian Slater) living an eco-friendly life on a commune.

10:30 pm: This American Life on Showtime.

Based on the popular NPR radio series, this brilliant new Showtime drama seeks to capture first person accounts of single themes. On tonight's episode ("God's Close-Up"), host Ira Glass explores two thematically-linked personal stories about getting closer to God, including an artist who serves dinner to a diverse group of people.

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Looks like Jack Donaghy made quite an impression on his fellow Peacock execs.

I was overjoyed to learn just a second ago that NBC has ordered a second season of comedy 30 Rock, easily my favorite new series this year.

I had it on very good authority that NBC was thisclose to renewing the series and had placed a good amount of confidence in the series, enough to bring it back to the schedule earlier than anticipated (it returns tomorrow night with a super-sized episode and Will Arnett), but NBC has now confirmed that it will indeed be giving us more Liz Lemon, Jack, Tracy Jordan, and Kenneth the Page.

NBC's president Kevin Reilly has said that he hopes the 30 Rock's fortunes will favor that of fellow comedy The Office, which premiered to some dismal ratings its first season but soon went on to become a critical and audience favorite and usher in a new (post-Arrested Development) era of smart comedy.

Fingers crossed that America finally wakes up and realizes just how hysterical 30 Rock truly is.

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NBC is apparently REALLY unhappy with freshman series The Black Donnellys.

Just mere days after announcing that the April 16th airing would be the series' last, the Peacock has today turned around and issued another announcement stating that, following another dismal performance this week, it would be yanking The Black Donnellys off the air... immediately.

Ouch.

It was clear that The Black Donnellys, created by Paul Haggis and Bobby Moresco (of Crash fame), wouldn't be around for long anyway, as NBC planned to use the real estate for Ashton Kutcher's latest reality opus The Real Wedding Crashers (yes, about people hired to crash weddings as a prank!) instead. In the meantime, NBC will fill the timeslot next week with an additional episode of new comedy improv series Thank God You're Here.

As for those remaining Donnellys episodes, fans can catch the last six or so eps on NBC.com but let's just say the likelihood of the series returning next season is as probable as everyone making it out of the final installment of The Sopranos alive. Capice?

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Those titular palms just got a lot less hidden.

The CW's freshman drama Hidden Palms, created by Kevin Williamson of Dawson's Creek and Scream fame, will finally launch on May 30th at 8 pm, taking over America's Next Top Model timeslot.

The eight-episode series, which stars The O.C.'s Taylor Handley (yes, creepy Oliver!) and Michael Cassidy, Amber Heard, Gail O'Grady, D.W. Moffett, Ellary Porterfield, Tessa Thompson, Sharon Lawrence, and Leslie Jordan (a.k.a. Will & Grace's Beverly Lesley), can best be described as The O.C. meets Desperate Housewives.

A newly scruffy Johnny Miller (Handley)--recovering from alcoholism as well as the suicide of his father--moves with his mom and her new hubby to Palm Springs, where he encounters the enigmatic Greta (Heard), rival Cliff (Cassidy), and a mystery involving Eddie, the former resident of his bedroom. (A review of the original pilot can be found here.)

For those of you looking for a steamy summertime's worth of sex, mystery, and assorted other vices, look no further than Hidden Palms.

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Confused about BBC America's wacky schedule? Tired of endless Benny Hill reruns? Fret no more.

Digital cabler BBC America has announced that, under new president Garth Ancier (remember him from the old WB?), it has reorganized its entire lineup, launching distinctive primetime programming blocks that target various demos every night of the week, which will also serve to modernize the channel and stabilize the schedule.

On Mondays, cabler will launch an 8-10 pm block called Murder Mondays, presenting a night of scripted mystery/dramas including new seasons of Robson Green-starrer Wire in the Blood and James Nesbit-led Murphy’s Law.

Tuesdays are all about male-driven action with Tuesday Nitro, with espionage drama MI:5 (aka Spooks, which was unceremoniously yanked from A&E), drama Ultimate Force, which follows an elite army unit as they encounter life-threatening and dangerous situations, and undisclosed reality series.

The girls get their own night with Wicked Wednesday, presenting a block of female-skewing soaps/dramas and comedies, including the final season of British soap Footballers Wives (with Joan Collins joining the gang), faintly Aaron Spelling-tinged drama Hotel Babylon, about the soapy goings-on at a luxe hotel, comedy Goldplated, about a seemingly wealthy family who subsist entirely on credit cards; and comedy Sinchronicity, about three young party-goers looking for love.

Big Thursday brings BBC America's audience, event-type celebrity-driven series including new seasons of Gordon Ramsay’s F-Word and Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares and the return of celebrity chat show/shrine to randomness The Graham Norton Show.

On Friday nights, the network will unveil Crime Scene Friday, primetime block of crime dramas including Whistleblower, The Innocence Project, Silent Witness, and (Televisionary favorite) Waking the Dead.

Saturdays are now the home of all things remotely sci fi or supernatural with Supernatural Saturday, a block of otherwordly dramas including newbie dramas Jekyll and Torchwood, as well as familiar faces Life on Mars, Hex, and Doctor Who.

Little bit of a change on Sundays, which launches a family action drama block at 7 pm with Adventure Sundays, including Robin Hood and Wild at Heart, followed by The Brit Movie, a different British movie each week.

At 10 pm Mondays through Fridays, BBC America will air long-running soap Hollyoaks (hmmm, no return of EastEnders, then). On Saturdays at 10 pm, it will air Jennifer Saunder's latest comedy The Life and Times of Vivienne Vyle (starring Saunders and Miranda Richardson) and comedy Lead Balloon, as well as stand-up specials from comedian Dylan Moran and others.

And for those of us on the West Coast who are even more confused about the timing of programs, BBC America will soon launch a West Coast feed sometime in the next six months, which means not having to try and figure out what time the latest episode of Life on Mars is on anymore.

In the meantime, Ancier's new schedule debuts on BBC America in June.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: Jericho (CBS); Friday Night Lights (NBC); America's Next Top Model (CW); George Lopez/George Lopez (ABC); Bones (FOX)

9 pm: Criminal Minds (CBS); Crossing Jordan (ABC); Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll (CW); According to Jim/In Case of Emergency (ABC); American Idol/'Til Death (FOX)

10 pm: CSI: New York (CBS); Medium (NBC); Lost (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: America's Next Top Model.

On tonight's episode ("The Girl Who Gets Thrown in the Pool"), the girls are told to come up with nicknames after learning how "fashion icon and living legend" Twiggy got hers and there's a cavalade of guests this week including 50 Cent, agent Nancy Josephson, Beverly Johnson, and producer Larry Sanitsky. (Um, why?)

10 pm: Lost.

I can't tell you how happy I am that Lost is back on the air again. On tonight's episode ("Left Behind"), it's an estrogen fueled episode as Kate and Juliet are forced to fend for their lives when tossed into the jungle and left to die but naturally they end up fighting rather than working together when Juliet tells Kate why Jack told her not to come back for him; meanwhile, Hurley convinces Sawyer to apologize for his actions or be banished from the group.

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You do not want to mess with Patty Hewes, an avenging litigator who is as ruthless as she is icy. Just think of Anna Wintour (or fictional Miranda Priestley) in a power suit with a law degree and a bulldog approach to winning every case and you've approximated the character. But you haven't see anything yet.

I'm talking of course of the latest character legendary actress Glenn Close will play and it is an amazingly meaty role. I was surprised that Close would again choose television (following her stint on The Shield) over feature films, but when she signed on for an untitled legal drama pilot at FX, I knew that the stars had aligned in some way.

FX has now ordered the legal drama to series, picking up 13 episodes of the series, now titled Damages, for a slated late summer launch. The series, created by Glenn Kessler, Todd A. Kessler, and Daniel Zelman, stars Close as the aforementioned Hewes, Rose Byrne (I Capture the Castle, Marie Antoinette) as Ellen, a young associate who is taken under Hewes' wing, Tate Donovan as a partner at the firm, Ted Danson as a villainous corporate CEO (whom Hewes has targeted), and Zeljko Ivanek (Lost) as Danson's wily attorney.

I will say that the script for Damages, which is being produced by Sony for FX, was easily the single best drama script out of the bunch this pilot season, completely transforming my notions of what a legal drama could or should be. (I'm not usually a fan of the genre and this captivated my attention like no other drama script in recent memory.)

Forget words like "courtroom," "tort," or, hell, "due process." I don't want to give away any spoilers (Damages' pilot script is a dense nest of plot twists and turns) but I will say that there is nothing quite like this on television and it's a highly intelligent, ambitious project that I knew would be ordered to series. (With a script this good and a cast that amazing, what network would say no?)

The series will resume production in New York in May and will hopefully be on the air sooner rather than later. I know this is one show that I will not miss, under pain of death.

In other news, FX has not yet decided the fate of Dirt, which wrapped up its run last week (the net is said to be happy with "cumulative ratings" of the series), or that of the critically acclaimed current series The Riches. Personally, I'm hoping for a cancellation of the former and a big, fat renewal of the latter.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: NCIS (CBS); Dateline (NBC); Gilmore Girls (CW); George Lopez/According to Jim (ABC); American Idol (FOX)

9 pm: The Unit (CBS); Law & Order: Criminal Intent (NBC); Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search of the Next Doll (CW); Dancing with the Stars (ABC); House (FOX)

10 pm: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (CBS); Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (NBC); Boston Legal (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: American Idol.

The nine remaining contestants compete after getting coached by music icon Tony Bennett.

8 pm: Gilmore Girls.

I've given up on this once-great drama, but for the few of you out there still watching, here's what's going on. On tonight's repeat episode ("I'd Rather Be in Philadelphia"), Lorelai and Rory wait at the hospital by Richard's side following his heart attack and receive an unexpected visitor while Christopher won't return Lorelai's calls. Yawn.

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Carole King once said, "Where you lead, I will follow," but I think we've reached the end of the road with those two girls called Gilmore.

According to a source inside the production, there will not be an eighth season of Gilmore Girls, which will wrap up its run this May.

While there have been rumors of a possible eleventh hour contract renegotiation with stars Lauren Graham and Alexis Bledel (who, according to reports, have only decided to sign their contracts if the other does as well), purported (and disastrous) Season Eight storyline plans, and petitions to save the show, it seems that it's not in the stars (hollow or otherwise) for any future seasons of Gilmore Girls.

According to my source, staffers on the Warner Bros. Television series have been told that the series will not be going forward and have begun to look for other employment next season. The same holds for the actors: Melissa McCarthy, who plays chef Sookie, recently signed on to co-star opposite Christina Applegate and Jean Smart in ABC comedy pilot Sam I Am.

Hell, Gilmore Girls' showrunner David Rosenthal is allegedly looking for work as well.

For fans of the show, at least we got five fantastic years with these girls and two not-so-good ones (you all know which ones I'm referring to), but I wouldn't trade those pop culture-laced memories for anything.

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Wow. Two hours of The Amazing Race? Way too much drama for me on a Sunday night, though I do have to say that I would have been peevishly outraged had they broken the episode into two parts, given the fact that--a first in Race history--teams were beginning a new leg of the Race before the trailing teams had finished the last one. Way to go, Dustin and Kandice!

It really was two hours of twists and turns and uncomfortable alliances but I'll limit my comments to just a few salient points. After all, I don't want to be droning on endlessly like Mirna or something.

The Best Laid Travel Plans. Is it just me or has this season of TAR featured the most excruciating travel sequences ever? Some teams, like the Guidos or Eric and Danielle (ha!) have faced setbacks time and time again. Last night was no exception as two teams (forced to "work" together) missed their connecting flight by mere seconds and watched in horror as they moved the stairs away from the plane, leading Joe to run out on the tarmac and start screaming and waving. Yes. That actually did happen. (In the end, it took a solid 30 hours for these teams to arrive in Warsaw.)

Uchenna and Joyce missed their connecting flight in Frankfurt, which would have put them tied for first with Dustin and Kandice, but managed to make up the time during a massive equalizer that had first place team, Dustin and Kandice, wait over 12 hours for a charter bus to Auschwitz.
The Horrors of Humanity. I'm talking about the teams' experiences at a nighttime, candlelit Auschwitz, even more haunting and sobering at night. I was glad to see that each of the teams treated it like the solemn memorial that it is and stopped "racing" for the duration of their time there, treating the memorial as a stark reminder of what humanity can do to itself. (And who knew Uchenna was such a philosopher?)

Intersection. Poor Dustin and Kandice got screwed by a taxi driver who had no idea where he was taking the girls in Warsaw and blew their enormous lead (at one point they were at least 15 hours ahead of the last place team). So I was literally screaming at the television when they arrived at the Intersection (remember those?) third, meaning that they would have to wait at least 4 hours for other teams to arrive to link up, as Danny and Oswald and Uchenna and Joyce had already departed together... for the fast forward. And the Beauty Queens were doing sooooo well this leg, too. Grr. I was really hoping they'd be able to come in first two weeks in a row and get their heads back in this game. Alas...

Danny and Oswald. Are these the two nicest guys to ever run the race? They're reflective when they need to be (Oswald was really affected by the concentration camp and reminded of his life in Communist Cuba), silly when they can be, and they are just plain nice to everyone on the race (remember last week when they helped an ailing Charla?). Even so, I was surprised that they gave Uchenna and Joyce the prize when both teams jumped onto the Pit Stop as a single unit. Sweet.

Charla and Mirna. What can I say about these two that I haven't already? When they're not switching into bizarre foreign accents for no reason, they are getting into people's faces in an aggressive, confrontational manner. Like ticket agents, for example. It was so uncomfortable to watch Mirna harass the travel agent in Zanzibar, calling her "my sister" and then speaking nastily to her a second later. Shudder. Likewise, the altercation with the taxi driver in Warsaw ("I am a young girl! I don't have $100.") was equally embarrassing for everyone involved. But the worst is the way that Charla and Mirna bark at one another (which the Beauty Queens found hilarious during the sausage-eating detour) and the fact that they seem to have no understanding of who should do a particular challenge. Did it really make sense for Charla to don the armour and lead a horse--ten times her size--to the castle gates... in the dark?

Fortunately, my three favorite teams are in the first three spots and I am hoping it stays that way. I'd be thrilled if Danny and Oswald or Dustin and Kandice win. And while I adore Uchenna and Joyce, they have won TAR once before, but even I wouldn't feel bad if they won again. Who are you rooting for to take home that cool $1 million prize and why?

Next week on The Amazing Race: Charla and Mirna and Eric and Danielle clash over some computer time, Danny and Oswald reach their breaking point, and the teams head to Malaysia, where one team is surprised to learn that they've become targets of another team.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: College Basketball (CBS); Deal or No Deal (NBC); Everybody Hates Chris/All of Us (CW); Dancing with the Stars (ABC; 8-9:30 pm); Prison Break (FOX)

9 pm: Deal or No Deal (NBC); Girlfriends/The Game (CW); The Bachelor (ABC; 9:30-11 pm); 24 (FOX)

10 pm: How I Met Your Mother/Two and a Half Men (CBS); The Black Donnellys (NBC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: Everybody Hates Chris.

On tonight's repeat episode ("Everybody Hates Eggs"), Chris and Greg wind up with that age old heath class project: caring for an egg as an exercise in parenting skills. Meanwhile, Julius makes the frightening realization that the family's electric bill is way over their budget. Ouch.

9 pm: 24.

It's Day Six of 24. While FOX doesn't give us much in the way of previews, here's what we do know: CTU is forced to take immediate action when Jack relays intel he's gained on Russian terrorist Gredenko (Mr. Gredenko to you), while Noah Daniels and the president continue to clash.

10 pm: The Riches on FX.

Is anyone else watching new drama The Riches on FX? On tonight's episode ("Been There, Done That"), Doug Rich's ex-wife comes after the family for missing alimony, leading Doug to try to make the problem go away before she blows their cover.

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Jason Biggs has found a roommate from hell and if you've ever seen still-missed comedy Undeclared (available on DVD, natch, so get out there and watch it), you'll recognize his slob of a roomie.

CBS Paramount comedy pilot I'm in Hell, about a Wall Street player-type (Biggs) who dies in a freak Blackberry-related accident and is reassigned to Earth (Hell is too full, apparently) has found its co-star, a slovenly awful guy in none other than Marshall himself, Timm Sharp.

Sharp will play Bigg's Earthbound roommate from hell, a truly awful individual. So nothing like Undeclared's so-sweet-he-seemed-stupid Marshall then. (Let's just hope he doesn't end up in a bird-related mishap.)

Sharp recently appeared in two episodes of FOX comedy 'Til Death and has been seen on HBO's Six Feet Under and FOX's Malcolm in the Middle. Sharp has popped up in a number of features including Friends with Money (as an architect), Fun with Dick and Jane, and a little film I've never heard of (but am now dying with curiosity over) called A Ninja Pays Half My Rent.

This pilot just got a hell of a lot more interesting.

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