Switching Off: Televisionary is on Vacation

You read that right. I'm off, post Upfronts and LA Screenings, for a much-deserved break and some down time. Confession time: we're off to Napa and there isn't even a television in our hotel room. (Quelle horreur!)

For those of you who understand that a television-free existence (even for just a week) is akin to a form of Geneva Convention-forbidden torture, rest assured that I'll return in a week's time, rested and ready to talk about all things Pirate Master (which launches Thursday night at 8 pm on CBS).

In the meantime, be sure to visit Televisionary's brand spanking new MySpace profile page and check out what I'll be watching this summer, as well as some of my recent advance pilot reviews, including Pushing Daisies, Chuck, and The Return of Jezebel James. I promise to get to Dirty Sexy Money, Sam I Am, Bionic Woman, Sarah Connor Chronicles, and several others (I've now seen ALL of the pilots for the new fall season) when I return next week.

Until then, stay tuned.

Summer of (TV) Love: What I'm Watching This Summer

Remember when summer television was an oxymoron? Now, instead of warmed-over reruns and stale burn-offs, broadcast and cable networks are increasingly giving us fresh fare during the warmer months.

Will CBS' Pirate Master be the latest reality juggernaut to launch during the summer, following in the footsteps of Survivor, American Idol, and The Amazing Race? (Fingers crossed that it's a bona fide hit.) Will we get sucked into the topsy-turvy world of high stakes litigator Patty Hughes (Glenn Close) on FX's Damages?

Turn up the A/C, grab an ice cold caipirinha, sit back, and relax... Here are the series that I'll be watching this summer.

MAY

Hidden Palms (CW)
After a disastrous viral ad campaign, the CW has unceremoniously dumped its latest teen drama in a summer slot with barely any promotion or advertising (sorry but those Three Stooges-inspired 8-second "commercials" don't count); but don't count this Desperate Housewives meets The OC out just yet. (After all, The OC launched during the summer months too.) This eight-episode series is the perfect summertime cocktail: cool, refreshing, and a little tart. Come for the beautiful bodies and the sun-drenched atmosphere and stay for the murder mystery. (Launches May 30th)

Pirate Master (CBS)
CBS attempts to capture the magic of Season One of Survivor by launching its latest reality series--in which 16 people vie for the title of Pirate Master and $1 million in gold--in the same timeslot and date as that series' initial launch. Just don't call it Survivor at sea; Pirate Master is a cunning combination of pirate-themed expeditions, sociological experiment, and a grand stage for backstabbing, greed, and manipulation, all brought to life by Survivor and The Apprentice mastermind Mark Burnett. Aussie Cameron Daddo hosts the proceedings with a rare combination of icy detachment and a winking nod to the camera. (Launches May 31st)

JUNE

Flight of the Conchords (HBO)
There are few things in this life more pleasurable than the off-kilter humor of New Zealand muscial/comedy duo Flight of the Conchords; if you've ever seen them perform live (which I have, twice, in Los Angeles and Aspen) you know exactly what I mean as Jemaine Clement and Bret McKenzie manage to balance spacey lyrics with bellyaching laughs. HBO has given them a half-hour platform to bring their unique comedic stylings to the US audience and this sitcom is definitely in the same vein of Curb Your Enthusiasm... if Larry David was played by two 20-something, slightly odd looking New Zealanders with a penchant for murderous robots from the future, making bike helmets out of their own hair, folk parodies, and filming bizarro music videos. You'll thank me in the morning. (Launches June 17th, though you can watch the entirety of the pilot here.)

Big Love (HBO)
The Henrickson clan returns for a second season of feuds, polygamy, and warring wives as Bill attempts to learn who outed Barb as a polygamist during the Utah Mother of the Year ceremony, Roman attempts to use Bill's brother Joey as leverage to regain control of the family business, and Nicki tries to overcompensate in light of Margene's new pregnancy. I can't wait. (Launches June 11th)

Creature Comforts (CBS)
It's been delayed endlessly, but the US adaptation of popular Brit series Creature Comforts is finally here. Innocuous documentary-style man on the street interviews about topics ranging from politics to home living conditions are animated using Wallace & Gromit-style claymation while the interviewees are replaced with birds, dogs, cats, and any number of other animals. It's witty, touching, and a little out there. (Launches June 4th)

Top Chef (Bravo)
Top Chef returns for a third season of fileting and gutting... and cooking too, of course. Padma Lakshmi (blech) returns as host, along with judges Tom Colicchio, Gail Simmons, and latest addition Ted Allen (Queer Eye). This time, the action moves from Los Angeles to Miami as 15 chefs compete for the dubious title of Top Chef and a whole lot of cash while talking trash and stabbing each other in the back. The knives are drawn and I'm already hungry. (Launches June 13th)

The 4400 (USA)
Season Four of smart and stylish sci fi drama The 4400 returns this June with a new direction for the lives of the 4400 returnees as messiah (or Judas, depending on your POV) Jordan Collier begins distributing promicin--capable of giving anyone 4400-like abilities--to the general public. Find out what's been happening to Tom Baldwin, Diana Skouris, Kyle (who seemed about to inject himself), and the rest of the gang. (Launches June 17th)

Meadowlands (Showtime)
Mystery/drama series Meadowlands, a co-production between Showtime and UK's Channel 4, stars the always impressive David Morrissey (State of Play, Blackpool) as the pater familias of a family unit who is placed by the witness protection program in the seemingly idyllic community of Meadowlands, only this quaint little town, where everyone has at least one secret, is less like heaven and more like hell. (Launches June 17th)

JULY

Doctor Who (Sci Fi)
It seems like forever since we last caught up with the time-traveling Doctor (David Tennant) but he returns this summer with a new companion, Martha Jones (Freema Agyeman, replacing the departed and much missed Billie Piper) and new adversaries. Among the adventures expected this season, the series' third? William Shakespeare, a 1930s Dalek plot, vampiric aliens, and some stormtroopers called the Judoon. (Looking for a trailer? Click here.) Rose might be gone but I cannot wait. (Launches July 6th)

Eureka (Sci Fi)
The quirky sci-fi dramedy, starring Colin Ferguson, Salli Richardson, Jordan Hinson, and Matt Frewer, returns for a second season of improbable yet highly entertaining science-related catastrophes set in a Pacific Northwest town that's the home to the country's best and brightest scientific minds. (Launches July 10th)

Damages (FX)
I can't even tell you how much I loved the pilot for the new drama Damages; to call this a legal drama would be like saying that Dickens' novels were soap operas. It's a deeply layered, provocative, taut gem of a thriller and a tense, serialized whodunit starring Glenn Close, Rose Byrne, Ted Danson, and Tate Donovan. It's The Devil Wears Prada meets Murder One. The legal world never seemed this dangerous or quite so murderous before. Check out the trailer here. (Launches July 24th)

Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares (BBC America)
Before the US version starts this fall on FOX, catch up with the third season of UK original Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares as notorious taskmaster/master chef Gordon Ramsay attempts to save struggling restaurants with tough love, elbow grease, and his potty mouth. (Launches July 12th)

AUGUST

Weeds (Showtime)
Weeds returns for its third season this summer with some familiar faces, including Mary-Kate Olsen, Matthew Modine, and Carrie Fisher. The third season will find Nancy striking up a new business arrangement with Sullivan Groff (Modine), an enigmatic land developer, while the community of Agrestic finds itself neighbors to a new planned community, called Majestic, controlled by a Christian mega-church right next door. (Launches August 13th)

Californication (Showtime)
David Duchovny buries all memories of Fox Mulder in this triumphant return to television. Here, he plays Hank Moody, a divorced novelist with some seriously self-destructive behavior (alcohol, drugs, and women) in the dark half-hour comedy, which also stars Natascha McElhone, Madeline Zima, Madeleine Martin, and Evan Handler. (Launches August 13th)

Suntans, Swimming Pools, and Murder on CW's New Series, "Hidden Palms"

I'll admit it. I was rather sucked in by the CW's eight-episode teen drama, Hidden Palms, the latest offering from Kevin Williamson (Dawson's Creek, Scream). For those of you who missed my original review of the pilot last May, below is an updated version of that review, now that I've seen the actual series.

While Williamson's last few series have failed to click with viewers (Wasteland, Glory Days), he's returned with this series to the blend of thriller/mysteries and teen angst that he's best known for. The result is something along the lines of Desperate Housewives crossed with The OC. (Though I am seriously baffled by critics' recent usage of Twin Peaks as a reference.)

Back in Seattle, Johnny Miller (The OC's Taylor Handley) was the perfect son: studious, well behaved, and clean-cut. But that was before his drunk father (guest star Tim DeKay of HBO's Carnivale) shot himself right in front of Johnny's eyes.

Two years and a stint in a rehab facility later, Johnny and his mom Karen (Gail O'Grady) arrive in a luxury gated community in Palm Springs. Karen's now remarried-rather quickly, no less-to the attentive if naïve Bob Hardy (D.W. Moffat) and Johnny? Well, he's turned into a bit of a grungy rebel: longhaired, camera 'round his neck, offering up pithy and sarcastic observations of his new environs. But like Desperate Housewives' Wisteria Lane, the neighborhood that they've moved to has its own share of secrets and odd characters... including the object of Johnny's affections, a mysterious teenage siren named Greta (Amber Heard) who enjoys running through the golf course sprinklers at night, a teenage mad scientist named Liza (Ellary Porterfield), and an aging Southern belle (Sharon Lawrence) and her teenage son Cliff (The OC's Michael Cassidy), an oily playboy who might have had a hand in the fate of Eddie, the kid who used to live in the Hardys' house.

There's a bit of a teen conspiracy here, as Cliff, Greta, and Liza are all keeping tight-lipped about what exactly happened to Eddie--Cliff says it was an accident, Greta claims it was suicide--and it's some time before Johnny (or the audience) learns what actually happened that fateful night. (Like, say, episode eight.)

There's also a rather tight love triangle between Johnny, Greta, and Cliff that has none of the lingering bitter aftertaste of the Joey/Pacey/Dawson romance. While the cast is top notch (O'Grady, Lawrence, and Moffat are all superb), it's Michael Cassidy who steals the show. Cassidy manages with his very first line to make us forget that he ever played a character named Zach on some show called The OC. Cassidy is so self-assured and charismatic that it's impossible not to fall under Cliff's dangerous spell, as nearly everyone on Hidden Palms already has. This guy is an actor to watch and his performance teeters on a knife's edge as he makes Cliff both sympathetic and repulsive, no mean feat. Cassidy's former cast mate Taylor Handley also turns in a performance that's light years ahead of his portrayal of the detested Oliver on The OC.

I wasn't initially set on Amber Heard, who plays the enigmatic Greta; when she's on she's really on, but when she's bad, she's really bad (i.e., the scene by the pool where she deletes pictures of herself off of Johnny's camera). I'm not sure she nails the sexy/bitchy aspect of Greta all that well, though her emotional breakdown at the end of the first episode (as well as the surprising reveal at the episode's very end), along with her stronger performance in subsequent episodes, show Heard's greater confidence as an actor as the series continues.

That said, look for a few supporting cast shake-ups as the series gets underway (bye, bye Liza's parents and a few others) and producers streamline the show. Look for Veronica Mars' Tessa Thompson to turn up as a former rehab buddy of Johnny's who sticks around in Hidden Palms for the long term (and catches a certain someone's eye), and keep an eye out for Will & Grace's diminutive Beverley Leslie--a.k.a. actor Leslie Jordan--as Jessie Jo, a drag queen in Johnny's AA group who offers him some sage advice.

Scott Winant, who directed the series' first installment, does a fantastic job at capturing the heat and lethargy of Palm Springs, as well as its magnificently manicured lawns and pristine homes. The establishing shot of Palm Springs, a long take that shows the Hardys driving up to their new house, perfectly sets the tone for the show. I only wish that the scene in which Johnny chases the ghostly Greta through the golf course had been shot a little more clearly (it seems at first as if he lives on the course itself) and was a little more atmospheric and mysterious than matter-of-fact. The dialogue is trademark Williamson: teen characters speaking in rapid-fire metaphors that's Morse Code for their feelings and identity quests.

While the name still irks--Hidden Palms sounds more like a retirement community for the elderly--this is one desert oasis where I wouldn't mind spending a few hours this summer.

"Hidden Palms" premieres Wednesday, May 30th, at 8 pm on the CW.

Re-Casting Couch?

The networks may have only just announced their fall schedules last week but that doesn't mean that there won't be a slew of recasting as series make their way into production in the next few weeks.

In fact, several roles are already being cast and a few of those series that didn't make the cut onto the fall schedule (like FOX's Saving Sam, formerly known as Deeply Irresponsible, and CW's Eight Days a Week) aren't exactly dead yet. Look for some retooling and recasting on a couple of those programs "missing" from the network lineups.

Over at CBS, the Angel/Forever Knight ripoff Moonlight (which previously went under the moniker Twilight), about a vampiric private investigator torn between his conflicting desires of redemption and bloodlust (sound familiar?), is looking to recast its female lead. The pilot presentation's nosy reporter role was played by The O.C.'s Shannon Lucio but the network is now reporting that Lucio is out and the role will be recast.

The move comes as the pilot's overall tone is retooled and more humor brought into the series. (Trust me, it's already unintentionally hilarious!) I'm also hearing that Moonlight's other female lead, Amber Valletta, will also be replaced when the series goes into production.

Over at NBC, the midseason comedy The IT Crowd will also be looking for a new female star as it replaces Jessica St. Clair.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: Ghost Whisperer (CBS); 1 vs. 100 (NBC); WWE Friday Night SmackDown (CW; 8-10 pm); America's Funniest Home Videos (ABC); Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (FOX)

9 pm: Close to Home (CBS); Law & Order: Criminal Intent (NBC); National Bingo Night (ABC)

10 pm: NUMB3RS (CBS); Law & Order (NBC); 20/20 (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: Absolutely Fabulous on BBC America.

What better way than to begin your weekend of debauchery than by starting it with two people even more pickled than you'll be? On tonight's "vintage" episode of AbFab ("Donkey"), Edina tries her hand at several unsuccessful diets.

8:40 pm: Coupling on BBC America.

Revisit the Coupling gang way back when. On the first of two episodes tonight ("Her Best Friend's Bottom"), Steve catches a glimpse of a naked Sally while searching for his keys. Then it's the classic episode "The Melty Man Cometh," in which Patrick and Sally's attempt to get together ends with disastrous results.

Mary-Kate Sparks Up for Season Three of "Weeds"

In one of the, er, oddest bits of casting recently, Showtime announced that Mary-Kate Olsen will join the cast of drama Weeds, which returns for its third season of pot-scented shenanigans August 13th.

Mary-Kate Olsen (remind me, is that the blonde one?) will play Tara, a Christian who moves into a new planned community sponsored by a local evangelical church, located next to the Botwin's Agrestic. Tara will quickly become a new love interest for Nancy's son Silas (Hunter Parrish) and Olsen is already contracted to appear in 10 of the 15 episodes ordered for Season Three.

"Weeds isn't your eight-o'-clock family fare," says creator Jenji Kohan. "It's an adult show with adult subject matter and we're confident Mary-Kate is right for the role. She came in and read with Hunter and was absolutely charming and real and seemed like a great fit. Audiences have seen only one side of Mary-Kate but here, we'll see her in a whole new light."

(I could make a joke there but I just won't.)

She joins the recently cast Matthew Modine, who has signed on to play a wealthy developer (the very same one behind Agrestic's rival Majestic) and a potential love interest for Mary-Louise Parker's Nancy Botwin.

Additionally, Zooey Deschanel will pop up in the third season premiere, reprising her role as Andy's eccentric girlfriend Kat, while Carrie Fisher will guest star next season as Celia's divorce lawyer.

Good Vibrations: Through the Looking Glass on the Season Finale of "Lost"

Oh. My. God.

I am still completely gobsmacked after watching last night's season finale of Lost ("Through the Looking Glass"), which--as promised--totally altered the series in a game-changing episode that will have all of us scratching our heads until the show returns next February.

As soon as a grizzly bearded Jack appeared on screen at the beginning of the episode, I instantly knew that we were seeing a Lost first: a flash forward in time that would change the direction of the series forever. It's an ambitious gambit to change everything about a series in the fourth season, but if anyone can pull it off it's the awe-inspiring duo of Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof (whose voices, FYI, appeared in last night's episodes); the fate of the series balances on a knife's edge but I have faith that this turn in direction is a positive thing.

Many of us thought that last night's episode would contain some explanation for Jack's strange behavior of late, following his incarceration with the Others, but instead just what happened to Jack during that time will remain shrouded in mystery; instead we're given a tantalizing flash forward in time to see a beleaguered and increasingly drug-addled Jack try to cope with life post-island but he appears to be weighed down by some massive guilt connected with his leaving the island (did he leave some people behind?) and an addiction to Oxycontin that plays with his mind. (Is Christian alive? Or is Jack just confused?)

In the future (which, thanks to that Motorola RAZR phone, appears to be post-2006 Los Angeles), Jack has taken to using his golden pass on Oceanic to take constant Friday night plane trips in the hope that the aircraft will crash and he will end up back on that damned island again. His ex-wife Sarah (Julie Bowen) is pregnant and wants nothing to do with him. He's suicidal and an attempt to take his own life causes a massive car crash that leaves yet another woman clinging to life. Kate has apparently sworn off all contact with Jack but he reaches out to her anyway, after reading an obit in the paper, and arranges a rendezvous at the airport.

Just whose corpse is in that coffin in the Hoffs/Drawlar Funeral Home? (My thoughts: Ben, Locke, or a new character.) And why did no one show up to that particular viewing... and why is Kate so insistent that she won't attend? (It's the little touches that count: Hoffs/Drawlar is an anagram for "Flash Forward," of course.) As for why Kate isn't in prison, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that the castaways conspired to fake her death in the Oceanic crash and, presumed dead, she's assumed a new identity, a life which she apparently shares with someone (Sawyer?) who wouldn't be too happy about her meeting Jack. Especially given the fact that Jack, obsessed with the notion that they were never meant to leave the island, now wants them all to go back there.

To put it bluntly: I loved this new direction and everything it offers in terms of storytelling possibilities. Did any of us really think that they'd get off the island in the third season finale, especially with a 48-episode order for Lost?

Meanwhile, I loved how our castaways have become more and more like the Others over the course of this season and last night's episode pushed this even further, as they exterminated the Others without a second thought, racking up a body count that included fan favorites such as Tom. Hmmm, could it be that the island recycles its population in a purge every few years by turning one population against the other? Does it thrive on warfare and murder?

Never for a second did I think that Jin, Sayid, and Bernard would get killed (and if they did, it would have been shown on screen), which was a great relief. But I'll admit I got a wee bit misty-eyed when Charlie sacrificed himself to get everyone (especially Claire and Aaron) off the island. Down in the Looking Glass, Charlie encountered the exceptionally deadly Bonnie (Tracy Middendorf) and Greta (Lana Parrilla) who, in turned out, did work for Ben, after all. No one other than their bespectacled leader had any idea that they were down there: their cover story was an assignment in Canada! Once Mikhail breached the station and learned that it wasn't flooded as Ben had told them, Patchy (whose prosthetic makeup was absolutely brilliant, BTW) set out to follow Ben's orders and eliminate Bonnie and Greta. Fortunately, Desmond had made it down into the station and managed to stop Patchy--albeit temporarily (can this guy ever be killed?)--and he and Charlie were able to learn the code to turn off the communications jammer. Hmmm, was it a coincidence that a musician programmed the code to the Beach Boys' "Good Vibrations" and Charlie, also a musician, just happened to be the one who had to turn off the machine? I don't think so.

I knew that Naomi was hiding something and she wasn't who she claimed to be (though she wasn't, as I had originally thought, working for Ben) and I loved the clever Star Wars homage as Charlie gets to speak to Penny Widmore (Sonya Walger) over the microphone, only to discover that Penny isn't on that nearby freighter, after all. As Mikhail detonates a grenade next to the station, Charlie seals himself in the communications room and--in yet another heroic move--writes on his hand that it's not Penny's boat and presses it against the glass. Sniffle.

I believe that Ben is actually telling the truth for once; these are evil people who have been trying to find the island for years (though why not just follow the Dharma drops?) and I think that Naomi is part of the same organization that the sinister Mrs. Hawking is. After all, it was Desmond's flashes that kept Charlie safe from death until he could get down into the Looking Glass and crack the "Good Vibrations" code. Whoever these people are they were able to use Desmond to manufacture an outcome that worked for them; they outfitted Naomi with a photograph of Des and Penny and a convenient cover story. After all, it was that photo that clinched things for Desmond; he helped Charlie obtain access to the Looking Glass and turn off the jammer, which in turn lead Naomi's people to the island. So maybe things aren't always as coincidental as they seem on Lost, after all...

What else did I love? Jack finally telling Kate that he loves her but he kisses Juliet and not her; Rose's line to Bernard to remember that he's a "dentist and not Rambo"; the fact that everyone discounted Hurley and he still managed to singlehandedly save the day with the VW van he discovered (which belonged, natch, to Ben's dead father in a sign that karma always gets you in the end); Sayid snapping an Other's neck with his legs; Alex finally meeting her mother Rousseau, whose first words to her daughter are "let's tie him up"; Aaron sensing that Charlie had died (signs of some extrasensory abilities?); Sawyer executing Tom because he took the kid off the raft; and Juliet's fear that Sawyer could turn on her next.

But let's face it: my favorite thing had got to be the reappearance of Walt (Malcolm David Kelley) standing above a newly paralyzed Locke, about to kill himself in the mass grave. While definitely looking more than a little older (puberty is a bitch), his appearance gave me chills. Is it Walt? Or a manifestation of the black smoke monster? Did Walt and Michael ever truly make it off the island or is this more trickery from the island itself? Or, finally, is it a projection of Walt himself, a la his dripping wet appearance at the beginning of Season Two?

In any event, Walt tells Locke that he can walk and that he still has work to do. Work, apparently, that includes killing Naomi with a thrown knife and attempting to prevent Jack from completing the call on the satellite phone. But at the final moment, Locke can't bring himself to kill Jack, who makes contact with a man named Spokowski aboard Naomi's boat. Rescue is on its way. What made Locke not follow out the island's instructions? And, even more tantalizing, is Locke STILL on the island in the future? Did he rejoin the Others at that mysterious temple?

The wait until next February is going to be an extremely painful one, methinks. The season finale's twist--a flash forward in time--could have been gimmicky had this been the end of the third season in an interminable series run, but with a clearly defined end date for Lost (May 2010) I do think that Season Four is going to potentially be the best season yet. Now if only we could flash forward to that season premiere in February...

What's On Tonight

8 pm: The King of Queens (CBS); My Name is Earl/30 Rock (NBC); Smallville (CW); Ugly Betty (ABC); So You Think You Can Dance (FOX; 8-9:30 pm)

9 pm: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (CBS); The Office/Scrubs (NBC); Supernatural (CW); Grey's Anatomy (ABC); On the Lot (FOX; 9:30-10 pm)

10 pm: Shark (CBS); Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (NBC); Grey's Anatomy (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8-10 pm: Innocent on BBC America.

It's two back-to-back episodes of new series Innocent, which follows the Innocence Project team as they try to help people wrongly imprisoned for crimes they didn't commit. In the first episode, the team attempts to help a convicted drug dealer receive a reduced sentence; in the second, they reach out to a man convicted of murder who claims all he did was try to help the victim.

8:30 pm: 30 Rock.

It's a repeat of my favorite new series of the year. On tonight's episode of 30 Rock ("Blind Date"), Liz gets set up on a blind date with Jack's friend only to discover that it's a woman, while Jack uses the opportunity to crash the writers' weekly poker game. He's a crafty one, that Jack.

9 pm: The Office.

On tonight's repeat episode of The Office ("The Convention"), Michael, Dwight and Jan attend a convention in Philadelphia, where Michael attempts to organize a rather sad party in his hotel room, leading to a reunion of sorts.

"Rob Thomas is a Whore" and Other Things I'll Miss About "Veronica Mars"

I really can't believe it's over. While last night's episode of Veronica Mars was touted by the CW as a "season finale," it's clear that the series has come to the end of the road and I, for one, am completely gutted.

It's one thing when a show peters out over several seasons and by Season Seven or so you become indifferent to one of your favorite series, but Veronica Mars still had a hell of a lot of potential--despite the awkward, sometimes off-putting single episode mysteries--and managed to restart itself in the two-hour finale.

One of the funniest moments in last night's Veronica Mars finale ("Weevils Wobble But They Don't Fall Over"/"The Bitch is Back") was a hilariously tongue-firmly-in-cheek scathing indictment of CW-style product placement as the gang name drop Venus razors ("Veronica Mars uses a Venus razor?"), People magazine, Saturn hybrid cars, and Matchbox 20, allowing Piz to take a swipe at Veronica Mars creator Rob Thomas, who just happens to share a name with the lead singer of the aforementioned band: "Rob Thomas is a whore." It's a fantastic meta moment which at once invalidates gratuitous product placement whilst probably serving to fulfill those very same product placement deals the CW forced upon the show all in the space of two scenes. I was a little skeptical when I saw Veronica shaving her legs in the sink of Mac's dorm room but those two scenes have quickly become series favorites as they skewer those awful, stilted Top Model Venus ads and similarly awkward product integration. It's the noir teen equivalent of the Snapple scene from 30 Rock.

All joking aside, I'm torn about whether last night's episode works as a series finale or just a season ender. On the one hand, there was no real resolution to any of the storylines (save the mystery of who filmed Veronica and Piz fooling around and posted it on the Internet) but on the other hand, writers Rob Thomas and Diane Ruggiero managed to reset the clock on Veronica Mars, returning us to several situations and storylines that defined the series in its freshman season: the feud between the Mars and Kane clans, Veronica being a social pariah, Keith losing the position of sheriff all over again thanks to Jake Kane (Kyle Secor, in a welcome return to the series), another idiot takes over as sheriff, etc. Hell, even Lily and Duncan Kane showed up, even if it was only as gigantic paintings in Jake Kane's palatial mansion.

There was definitely a cyclical feeling to the ending of "The Bitch is Back," as Keith sacrifices everything--the election campaign, his job, his sterling reputation--in order to save his beloved Veronica, though his intervention was ultimately unnecessary, which made his downfall all the more tragic. At the heart of this series has always been a compelling and extraordinary relationship between a father and daughter: because of her shame and embarrassment at the non-sex sex tape, Veronica is unable to tell Keith why she broke into Jake Kane's house and stole the hard drive; because of his love for his daughter, Keith does everything--including break the law--to save her. Has a television parent-child relationship ever been this rich and complex?

The ending, in which Veronica sees that Keith is being charged with tampering with evidence and then goes and votes for her dad in the voting booth (even though he's doomed to fail), was a beautiful crystallization about everything Veronica Mars has stood for: hope in the face of adversity, despite all proof that truth and justice don't necessarily exist in a noir-styled town as corrupt as Neptune. No matter how much good Keith and Veronica do in their roles as private investigators (or in Keith's case as sheriff), they'll never truly fit in in Neptune society; they're rebels, outcasts, forever removed from the '09-ers and tainted by the fact that they don't live in that posh zip code. If that's not the perfect ending to a series about class warfare, I don't know what is; it was poignant and full of promise for a fourth season at the same time. Pity then that we won't get to see (whether that's Veronica as an FBI agent or a college student) what would have come next.

It's clear that Logan is still deeply in love with Veronica. He savagely attacked poor Piz (wrongfully, I might add) and then, despite Veronica telling him that she wanted him out of her life forever, he still beat up that Castle member even after V. told Logan that he had serious mob connections. If that's not love, I don't know what is, though I do think Logan overstepped his bounds by upholding Veronica's honor; if that was anyone's right it was Piz's and, from the scathing gaze he offered Logan, it seemed like he was none too pleased by Logan's berserker rage. Poor Parker never even had a chance with Logan, did she? He didn't even blink when she split up with him. But I do have to admit that I liked Veronica and Piz together; they were really quite cute, especially in the scene where he told her how cute she was when she surveilled. (Aw.)

It was also gratifying to see the entire gang in on the action last night as Wallace and Mac (yay, Mac!) did what they do best and lent a hand to Veronica's investigation: Wallace went undercover at the Castle (but got caught in the process), Mac helped Veronica decrypt Jake Kane's hard drive and get the names (and confessions) of every single Castle member since 1939, Weevil bent the law to help V., and Logan provided some (misguided at times) muscle. It was just like old times again and made me more than a little nostalgic.

Best line of the night: "This new wetsuit is like a cheap hotel: no ballroom." I'm not sure what Dick hoped to gain by making amends for his past behavior towards everyone in his life (and his suddenly reemerging guilt over Cassidy's death), but he still managed to do so with his gutter humor intact. So maybe there is hope in Neptune even for the hopeless, after all.

We may not have gotten the resolution we wanted (no appearance by Big Dick Casablancas or Kendall) but we did get a plaintive ending to a series which has provided me no end of theorizing and ruminating. I do wish that Rob Thomas and Company would have had the chance to tell the story that they wanted and been able to end the series on their terms, rather than the network's. Despite its premature death at the hands of CW execs, Veronica Mars will forever remain in my memory as one of television's most multi-layered dramas, populated by complex characters in a noir-tinged underworld set against a fabulous, beach-scented backdrop. Neptune might not be an ideal place to live, but it's been the perfect weekly getaway over the last three seasons.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: NCIS (CBS); Saturday Night Live in the '90s: Pop Culture Nation (NBC; 8-10 pm); One Tree Hill (CW); Lost (ABC); American Idol (FOX; 8-10 pm)

9 pm: Criminal Minds (CBS); One Tree Hill (CW); Lost (ABC; 9-11 pm)

10 pm: CSI: New York (CBS); Dateline (NBC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: Lost.

If you missed Thursday's Lost special ("The Answers"), here's your chance to kick back with Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse as they recap some of the plot twists and turns of this past season.

9-11 pm: Lost.

On the two-hour season finale of Lost ("Through the Looking Glass"), Jack and the castaways head to the radio tower, Charlie meets some new female friends in the Looking Glass, Desmond faces off against Patchy, and Ben enacts his plot to kidnap the female survivors of Oceanic Flight 815. I cannot wait!

AMC Ready to Take On Meth with "Breaking Bad"

Showtime has Weeds and now AMC has its very own suburban drug drama.

The cabler is said to be close to greenlighting original drama Breaking Bad, starring Bryan Cranston (Malcolm in the Middle) as a terminally ill high school science teacher who becomes a crystal meth dealer (and manufacturer) in order to provide for his family after he dies.
Breaking Bad--written by, directed, and executive produced by Vince Gilligan (The X-Files)-- was shot earlier this year but AMC had debated whether or not to grant the project a series order.

The series order for the project comes at a time when the cabler is attempting to make a major push into scripted series; AMC is launching period drama Mad Men--about 1950s advertising execs--this summer and currently airs the fourth season of crime drama Hustle, a co-production with the BBC.

It's worth noting that the network also recently announced development of an updated version of British cult classic The Prisoner, but should we be nervous that a cable channel whose moniker is an abbreviation of American Movie Classics is remaking one of television's most quintessentially British series?

Pilot Inspektor: NBC's "Chuck"

While Pushing Daisies is undoubtedly my favorite new series for this fall, I can now say that I've definitely found my runner-up: action dramedy Chuck, which launches this fall on NBC.

Chuck is a perfect blend of kick-ass action, hilarious comedy, romantic intrigue and nerd humor. It also, like fellow Warner Bros. Television series Pushing Daisies, has one of the most instantly likeable, charismatic casts on television.

For those of you not in the know, Chuck revolves around lovelorn twenty-something Chuck (Zachary Levi), the head of a Nerd Herd (think Geek Squad, only without the product placement) at a Buy More store; he's still after years hung up on a college girlfriend who left him for his far cooler roommate Bryce Larkin (Traveler's Matthew Bomer). Said roommate, a gymnast and engineer, has since moved onto bigger things. Like being a rogue CIA spy who breaks into a highly secure government facility to steal an image-based intelligence software program that encodes secrets into easily digestible imagery. Before Bryce is killed, he managed to download and email the program to the one person in the world that would be least likely to be involved in any plot: one Chuck Bartowski.

Chuck himself is a down-and-out loser, unable to speak to women and more likely to break into a chorus of "Vicki Vale" (Batman, natch) than ask for her digits. So imagine his surprise when the beautiful Sarah (Yvonne Strzechowski), a Buy More customer whose mobile he repairs, expresses interest in him. Naturally, it's not Chuck's body she's after, but what's inside his head, namely that sophisticated intelligence database. But the beautiful and deadly Sarah isn't the only agent after that database; cutthroat John Casey (Firefly's Adam Baldwin) is also tracking the whereabouts of the database and he is willing to kill anyone that gets in his way, including Sarah and/or Chuck.

So what happens? You'll have to wait until the fall to find out (I can't spoil everything, now can I?) but I will say that I was blown away by the strength of the pilot's action sequences, especially the opening sequence featuring Bryce (Bomer) stealing the database in a whirl of acrobatic moves, explosions, and kickass fight choreography, a car chase--driving backwards, no less--between Sarah and Chuck (in a Nerd Herd mobile) and the sadistic Casey, which leads spectacularly to when Sarah triggers an emergency barricade and kneels behind the pillars, resulting in an explosion of glass and auto parts inches above her. It's a jaw-dropping sight and sets the stage for a climactic showdown on the roof of a downtown skyscraper.

While the action is sure to get many a fan's adrenaline pumping, it's the humor that runs underneath the kinetic fight sequences that kept me even more engaged. Chuck and his best friend Morgan (Joshua Gomez) are hilarious together and their rapport seems natural and easy. I was rolling on the floor during the scene in which they (seriously) face off with a ninja assassin in the process of stealing Chuck's hard drive as Morgan begins to chuck (heh) various household items at the thief, who quickly deflects them right back at Chuck.

Chuck's perfectly balanced combination of raw action and witty humor is enough to win me over, but I have to quickly say how well cast Chuck's entire crew is. Zachary Levi displays the right mix of nerdy daring- do and leading man amiability, resulting in a truly memorable character whom you want to return to each week. Sarah Lancaster is adorable as Chuck's sister Ellie, who pushes her brother to get out there and meet women (she also catches him attempting to escape his own birthday party); she's eager-to-please but not obnoxiously so and blissfully in love with her boyfriend, the preening Captain Awesome, a surgeon extraordinaire. One can't say enough about the sexiness of Yvonne Strzechowski, who proves herself prone to wandering around expensive hotel rooms in color-coordinated underwear (when she's not wearing form-fitting body armor) as well as being a deadly fighter and driver; however, she also displays a rare vulnerability as she too attempts to recover from a monumentally failed relationship.

Finally, Adam Baldwin is so well cast as the Machiavellian John Casey that you want to forgive the networks that cancelled all of his others shows over the last few years just so he could be free to play this part. Baldwin seems born to play Casey, imbuing him with a blend of mercenary detachment, a sadistic penchant for killing, and a lopsided sneer that never seems to leave his face. I won't give away the pilot's ending but suffice it to say that Agent John Casey has a new cover by the pilot's end (along with a new assignment) that doesn't win him any favors towards our boy Chuck. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: NCIS (CBS); Dateline (NBC); Veronica Mars (CW; 8-10 pm); The Bachelor (ABC); American Idol (FOX)

9 pm: Jesse Stone: Sea Change (CBS; 9-11 pm); Law & Order: Criminal Intent (NBC); Dancing with the Stars (ABC; 9-11 pm); On The Lot (FOX)

10 pm: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (NBC)

What I'll Be Watching

8-10 pm: Veronica Mars.

I'm so angry at the CW I can taste it. On tonight's two-hour series finale of Veronica Mars ("Weevils Wobble But They Don't Fall Down"/"The Bitch is Back"), Veronica must clear Weevil's name when he's arrested for selling fake credit cards but he claims that he's being framed, Keith and Vinnie debate, Dick apologizes to Mac, a sex tape of Veronica and Piz makes its way onto the internet, and Veronica tells Logan once and for all that she wants nothing to do with him. I'm crushed.

9 pm: On the Lot.

Fox's newest reality show (from reality TV ubermeister Mark Burnett) begins tonight with a special "preview" episode in which the semifinalists undergo their first Hollywood pitch meeting and must shoot and edit a short film in 24 hours.

NBC Keeps Eye on "Watch"

Following the network upfront announcements last week, NBC has very quietly lifted the director contingency from one-hour drama pilot The Watch this week.

The Watch, from Sony Pictures Television, revolves around a group of neighborhood watch volunteers willing to do anything--including murder--to keep their tree-lined suburban paradise safe. Project, from writers Ed Decter and John J. Strauss (There's Something About Mary), was originally ordered to pilot back in January but was put on hold until a suitable director could be found.

Charles McDougall, who directed the pilots of next season's Big Shots, as well as The Tudors and Desperate Housewives, as been hired to helm The Watch, lifting the project's contingency.

Personally, The Watch was one of my least favorite drama pilot scripts this season, so I'm slightly baffled as to why NBC wouldn't wait until August to reevaluate it alongside several other scripts in contention for pilot orders. Stay tuned.

Pilot Inspektor: FOX's "The Return of Jezebel James"

I can't tell you how heartbroken I am. It's always a sad day when something fails to meet your expectations and, while there were several pilots I was anxious to see, The Return of Jezebel James was definitely towards the top of my list.

Let me begin by saying that I've been talking endlessly about Jezebel James for the past few months. As a huge Amy Sherman-Palladino fan, I've reported every single casting decision on the pilot and have been more than a little in love with the script since I read it back in December. Which made my recent viewing of the pilot all the more, well, upsetting.

Quick 411 on the pilot: it's written and directed by Gilmore Girls creator Amy Sherman-Palladino (she of the whip-smart dialogue and penchant for wacky hatwear) and follows the complicated relationship between two very different estranged sisters: older sis Sarah (Parker Posey) is a children's book editor for a major publisher (one of her series of novels revolves around the adventures of the titular Jezebel, a.k.a. "Pippi with a Blackberry"); younger sister Coco (Lauren Ambrose) is a free-spirited if somewhat jaded bohemian whom Sarah had evicted from her last home: a shelf above a noodle station in a Chinese restaurant. Sarah has recently discovered that, despite being ready to have a baby (even if its not with her commitment-phobic boyfriend Marcus, played by Gilmore's Scott Cohen), she can't conceive a child... so she turns to Coco to carry the baby for her and offers to pay her (and house and feed her, along with giving her access to TiVo) in exchange for the life-altering favor.

It's a cute premise and a real departure from Gilmore Girls, which at its heart was about the relationship between the closer-than-humanly-possible mother-daughter combo of Lorelai and Rory. Here the same central relationship is fractured, possibly beyond repair, and these two women couldn't be more different or carry more baggage. What the shows do have in common, beyond their creator, is the sort of quick-witted repartee that's so sharp it could cut someone.

So why doesn't The Return of Jezebel James work? For one thing, it's mostly shot as a multi-camera traditional sitcom, complete with an obnoxious and off-putting laugh track that literally makes you not want to laugh; it's disconcerting and awkward and doesn't match at all with the sort of smooth dialogue and character interplay that would be much more at home in a single-camera comedy. The laugh track actually distracts you from the funny, covering several jokes and making the flow much more of a set up-beat-punchline-pause format than the material warrants. (Old Christine is the perfect example of a show that succeeds in spite of the raucous laugh track; 30 Rock would be a mess with such a device.) These well-crafted lines of dialogue are smashed into verbal mush by what I believe to be the network's inability to trust the audience. Trust me, FOX, we don't need to be told when to laugh.

It's not to say that Jezebel James doesn't show some potential, because it does. I've never wanted to like a show, despite the painfulness of the pilot, as much as I did while watching this. So how would I fix the show? Easy. A few suggestions:

(1) Eliminate the laugh track altogether. Sherman-Palladino is known for her dialogue so don't drown it out; her shows are also known for their fantastic use of music and cues (think Sam Phillips here) rather than the clunkiness of the dreaded track.

(2) Reshoot the pilot as a single-camera comedy without a live audience. Relish in the freedom and possibility of not having to pause for the punchline each and every time. Use those beautiful sets (especially the sweeping office set) to their full advantage.

(3) Have Posey tone it down a bit. I'm a huge fan of the inimitable Parker Posey but her delivery here is a little overly theatrical, possibly heightened by the fact that there's a live audience watching her on the set and it's easy to slip back into old habits. The scene between Sarah and Marcus, in particular, felt a little too stagy; her hysterical breakdown a little too over the top to be taken seriously. Subdue some of that theatricality and Sarah will seem a little more sympathetic and three-dimensional, rather than approaching cartoonishness.

(4) I'm not sure what they were going for with Posey's overall look, but it needs serious retooling. She's meant to be somewhat bohemian (though not in a punk, Coco sort of way) but she's been dressed in some dowdy outfits that don't do anything to make the character more appealing. Instead, Posey's thin frame is lost in billowy materials that make her seem frumpy and her hair is permanently in front of her face (forcing her to constantly readjust her bangs). Lose the shabby, sack-like dresses and make Sarah more slick and stylish. She's a creative-type, yes, but she's also more corporate than Coco, who can definitely afford to be the more quirky dresser of the two.

As I said before, I really do want to like The Return Jezebel James but the pilot isn't doing the series (intended for a midseason launch on Wednesday nights) any favors. At first I was disappointed that the show wouldn't air until midseason but now I'm hoping that the extra time will give them the opportunity to make some simple adjustments that could possibly elevate Jezebel James from one-note sitcom to the smart and funny comedy I know it could be.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: Two and a Half Men/Two and a Half Men (CBS); Deal or No Deal (NBC); Everybody Hates Chris/All of Us (CW); Dancing with the Stars (ABC); 24 (FOX; 8-10 pm)

9 pm: Two and a Half Men/Two and a Half Men (CBS); Heroes (NBC); Girlfriends/The Game (CW); The Bachelor (ABC; 9-11 pm)

10 pm: CSI: Miami (CBS); Law & Order: Criminal Intent (NBC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: Waking the Dead on BBC America.

It's the return of the stylish smart UK murder investigation series. On tonight's episode, Boyd and his team investigate a decomposing corpse found buried in Hampstead garden while a murderer escapes from a psychiatric unit. Is there a connection? Will Boyd be grumpy? Find out tonight.

9 pm: 24.

It's the season finale Day Six of 24. While FOX doesn't give us much in the way of previews, here's what we do know: that international incident looms ever larger and Jack is once again foced to save the country. Will he succeed? Will he fail? Well, FOX renewed the series for another two seasons, so it's not really much of a mystery. Let's just hope next season proves to be a little more enjoyable.

10 pm: The Riches on FX.

Is anyone else watching new drama The Riches on FX? On tonight's episode ("Anything Hugh Can Do, I Can Do Better"), Wayne gets a taste of being the boss when he fills in for Hugh as the head of Panco, Dahlia attempts to bond with DiDi, and Dale fills Hartley in on what he's really doing there in Eden Falls.

"The Simpsons" Reaches 400th Episode Milestone

I'll admit that I've kind of tuned out The Simpsons in recent years, as its once witty humor has turned predictable and tired. What was once the most well crafted, intelligent series on television has buckled under the weight of 400 episodes, each with zany plotlines and characters that steadfastly refuse to change or age.

So imagine my surprise when I tuned in to catch the series' 399th and 400th episodes and discovered that The Simpsons, while nowhere near the standard it set for itself years before, can still manage to tickle my funny bone. The 399th episode, "24 Minutes" brought the audience a parody of fellow FOX series 24, in which Lisa and Bart work for CTU, the Counter Truancy Unit, and must work together to defuse a terrorist situation involving a bully-made stink bomb and a school bake sale. (It's all the more funny for the fact that it's more amusing and engaging than the current season of 24 (which wraps its sixth season tonight) has consistently been this year.

What worked so well about the episode is the way that it appropriated those old 24 tropes--split screens, Kiefer Sutherland narration, moles within CTU--and turned them on their head. Plus, kudos to Sutherland and Mary Lynn Rajskub for mocking themselves (or at least their bombastic characters, Jack and Chloe). Loved the dumpster gag, as well, in which Homer and Milhouse (don't ask) take a dumpster for a spin around town. It might not reach the heights of some of my favorite episodes like "Das Bus" or "The Old Man and the Lisa," but it's a funny 24 minutes, if a little dated, nonetheless.

Following "24 Minutes," The Simpsons crew manages to commandeer some of the imagery of Good Night and Good Luck for the landmark 400th episode, "You Kent Always Say What You Want" that has local news anchor Kent Brockman lose his job after uttering a swearword on the air when Homer Simpson, local buffoon and 1 millionth ice cream cone purchaser, spills coffee on his crotch. It touches upon the demons of the anti-indecency campaign in America, in which people increasingly look to find something indecent about nearly every television show that doesn't meet their rigid views of morality and decency. (Off topic: there's a fascinating recent Entertainment Weekly article here that talks with four network standards and practices execs.)

My favorite bits: the opening title sequence that takes us back twenty years to five squiggly, poorly drawn yellow characters (looking rather like they did back on the old Tracy Ullman Show) attempting to arrange a family picture; a cigarette-smoking Kent Brockman delivering a savage Edward R. Murrow-style indictment in classy black and white (Lisa even taps his knee with a pencil when they go live on the air); and the headshot "wall of fame" in the Simpsons house that recounts past visitors who have moved into the home, from Apu and Sideshow Bob to Gil and Stampy the elephant.

It's a wink to the series' longevity and its (dare I say it?) continuity and make me a bit wistful for the good old days. In any event, however, making it to 400 episodes in an age where new series get yanked off the air after three episodes is quite a feat and it's a testament to the cast and crew of The Simpsons that this little series has become such a part of the global zeitgeist.

"Ugly Betty" Finishes Its Season with a Less Than Pretty Finale

One of my main complaints about Ugly Betty is its tendency to become mawkish rather than revel in its fun, soapy atmosphere. Amanda and Christina getting trapped inside Fay's love dungeon? Classic. Marc getting traded to rival designer Fabia so that Wilhelmina could score her chosen wedding day at Saint Patrick's Cathedral? Hilarious. Santos getting gunned down in a store robbery and Hilda having a mental breakdown outside the auditorium where Justin performs (and dies onstage) in West Side Story? Not so much.

Remember, please, that this is the series that won the Golden Globe for Best Comedy series, beating out NBC's The Office. Yes, that's best COMEDY series. What we've been seeing lately with storylines involving Ignacio's immigration problem, Daniel's sex addiction, and--yes--Santos' wrong place, wrong time murder just doesn't jibe with a show that can, at times (usually involving Marc, Amanda, Wilhelmina, or Justin) be laugh-out loud hilarious. It's the OTT soapiness that turn me off (and according to rival CBS, I'm not the only one, as the series has tumbled 41 percent in the ratings since it launched last fall).

So what did I find to be the most interesting thing about this week's Ugly Betty finale? The scandalous reveal that Amanda is actually the daughter of murdered Fay Sommers. Having gotten her lifetime receptionist job at Mode because her parents were friends with Fay, she's discovered that she was a hell of a lot closer to Fay than she suspected. It's a fun, soapy twist (the evidence was discovered in a red safe whose code was Fay's real measurements, in a secret room at the Mode offices) that begs the question: just who is Amanda's father? Is she a Meade? And, if so, wouldn't that mean that she was sleeping with her brother Daniel all those months?

To me, it's the rare pretty twist in Ugly Betty's rather dull and outlandish (yes, at the same time!) season finale. America Ferrara might be the titular character, but the stars that seem to shine best here are Becki Newton, Ashley Jensen, Michael Urie, Mark Indelicato, and Vanessa Williams. Here's to hoping that Season Two will downplay some of the cloying sentimentality and way-too-serious plotlines for some good, old-fashioned comedy.

Jobs, Schrute Bucks, and Confessions on the Season Finale of "The Office"

Was that not the best ending ever? I predicted last week that Jim and Pam would get together and it feels good to know that I'm still in tune with what The Office's writers are thinking. What a satisfying and creatively fulfilling way to end the season, not with the grand gesture of a stolen kiss (like in last year's finale) but with a seemingly simplistic request for a date. Ah, young love.

Last night's one-hour season finale of The Office ("The Job") proved that the show can work as a one-hour, a VERY good thing considering that earlier this week NBC ordered 30 episodes of the series for next season, including five one-hour installments. If they're as well coordinated and executed as "The Job," Season Four just might be a treasure rather than a botched experiment waiting to happen. Fingers crossed it's the former.

In any event, last night's installment crystallized exactly what makes us love The Office: those completely real, awkward, embarrassing moments we all feel. This week was no exception with one scene that perfectly captured the discomfort of modern office life: Jan being escorted from the building. Before getting into that, I just want to say what a remarkable job Melora Hardin did last night; her performance was riveting and she managed to showcase several different sides of Jan in a single episode: at times confident, vulnerable, dangerously aggressive, and delusional. And she clearly felt savvy enough to pull off the episode's , er, biggest sight gag: her boob job ("sorry, boob enhancement").

It's that scene, in full view of Jim and Karen, though, that took the cake as Jan is escorted into reception by two security guards as her stuff begins to fall out of her cardboard box; as she and Michael attempt to pick up items, more things crash to the floor and soon ex-assistant Hunter ("good luck with your band") is forced into helping... and then Jan walks out with a bleeped epithet for David Wallace. It's a particularly painful scene to watch as Jan loses all sense of dignity in leaving Dunder-Mifflin and, just when you think the gag has ended, it keeps going, a sort of live-action Simpsons joke that reminds us that Greg Daniels used to be a writer on The Simpsons.

Will Jan move in with Michael? It certainly seems that way, especially after her emotional breakdown in the car (thanks to her prescription painkillers), though I can't imagine Jan working full-time as Michael's stay-at-home, er, girlfriend. The scenario certainly yields a huge amount of comedic potential next season, however, and I can't wait to see where this storyline is going. (It's also clear now why they needed to break these two up so quickly a few episodes back.)

I think it's an interesting twist that the job interviews have been an effort to replace Jan at the corporate office (though I can't believe that Michael was the one to tell her that she's been axed) and that Jan will now have to adjust to life outside Dunder-Mifflin. I'm not quite sure I buy all the reasons for Jan's dismissal; sure, it's clear that the visiting her sister in Scottsdale line is code for her surgical enhancement and I loved that David Wallace called her out for constantly driving out to Scranton (a nice wink and nudge at the audience), but online shopping? I think that's stretching it a little bit and it doesn't really jive with the rest of Jan's character; she's always proven that she's an exceptional executive (even if a little out there since her divorce) and this diminishes her a little too much, in my opinion. But still, a minor gripe in an otherwise stellar episode.

I loved the tag with the reveal that David has actually hired Ryan to take over Jan's position (and that he spat out a "we're done" to Kelly before slyly grinning at the camera). It's a fantastic twist that no one saw coming; the easy answer would have been to have Karen land the job. But with Rashida Jones' pilot The Rules for Starting Over getting ordered to series for midseason on FOX, I have a feeling that we won't be seeing Karen around much next season (though hopefully a little bit). So did Jim just leave Karen in New York City having lunch with her friends downtown? I hope that our guy at least called her to say that he was driving back to Scranton and it was over between them rather than, you know, just leaving her stranded in Manhattan. Still, it was clear that Karen was much more at home in NYC than in Scranton, what with her knowledge of The Spotted Pig and "second-acting" Broadway plays, etc. She is a slick, corporate type who's too big for small town Scranton. I'm just hoping that we haven't seen the last of her.

I loved the New York scenes and I am so glad that the production decided to travel to Manhattan to shoot them on the city's streets (was that a shout-out to Sex and the City with a Carrie Bradshaw type hailing a cab?) rather than shoot them on a backlot. They gave the entire episode an urgency and reality that was completely visceral and made what happened next all the more powerful as Jim chooses Scranton (and Pam) over the overwhelming largeness of Manhattan (and Karen).

What else did I love? Dwight's fantasy about co-running a B&B with Satan in hell for a whopping 80 grand a year; Kelly calling Pam's speech "pathetic"; everyone's reactions to Jim's new haircut which made him look less "homeless"; Karen saying that Pam was kind of a bitch; Andy's surreal job interview with Dwight; Andy and Dwight painting Michael's office black; the wink Dwight gave his Secret Assistant to the Regional Manager; Creed's blog (www.creedthoughts.gov/www.creedthoughts); the debate about Schrute Bucks vs. Stanley Nickels; Pam slipping one of the Office Olympic gold medals into Jim's folder... and the list goes on and on for an episode as multi-layered and lovingly constructed as this one. (But I can't forget to mention Dwight's desire to hire Jack Bauer as his Number Two; it's probably the most interesting thing about 24 this year.)

Finally, there's Jim and Pam. I didn't think you needed that scene on the beach between the two of them (it both interrupted the flow of the episode and broke the series' narrative device--the documentary--even if it bookended the season with another, misused flashback) but that final scene between them summed up everything that's been unspoken this season.

I knew that by the season finale these two star-crossed lovers would find a way to be together and I'm glad that writers Paul Lieberstein and Michael Schur brought them together not with another kiss but with something different, something adult and mature that belies their newfound places in the world: a date. I loved how conflicted Pam was regarding the job situation in New York City; she believes in Jim but doesn't want to lose him and so puts her well-wishing behind eliminating her competition for his affections.

Jenna Fischer's expression during Pam's interrupted talking head (when Jim bursts in to ask her out) was priceless, a mix of awe, surprise, happiness, and relief. (Speaking of which, get well soon, Jenna! We're thinking of you!) In the last two weeks, both Jim and Pam have shown tremendous acts of bravery and it's been so emotionally rewarding to see them both stand up for what they believe in and be HONEST with one another for a change.

Will these two actually work out as a couple? Who can say? We'll find out for certain next season, but no matter what happens, I just know it will be as hilarious as it will be painful to watch. In a good way. But, in the end, isn't that what The Office does best?

What's On Tonight

8 pm: That's the Way It Is: Celebrating Cronkite at 90 (CBS); Dateline (NBC; 8-10 pm); WWE Friday Night SmackDown (CW; 8-10 pm); Grey's Anatomy (ABC); Nanny 911 (FOX)

9 pm: A Dr. Phil Primetime Special: Caged? (CBS); National Bingo Night (ABC); Bones (FOX)

10 pm: NUMB3RS (CBS); Law & Order (NBC); 20/20 (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: Absolutely Fabulous on BBC America.

What better way than to begin your weekend of debauchery than by starting it with two people even more pickled than you'll be? On tonight's "vintage" episode of AbFab ("Paris"), Pats and Edina head to Paris for a fashion shoot but it's Eddy and Saffy who end up bonding.

8:40 pm: Coupling on BBC America.

Revisit