The Uncanny Office Heroes?

Ever wonder just what a mash up of NBC's The Office and Heroes would be like? (I know I have.) Or what superpowers the (not so) dedicated employees of Dunder-Mifflin might manifest?

Look no further.



The Dreamer. The Cop. The Artist. The Seeker. The Cheerleader. The Clock Puncher.

Does it get any better than that?

I'd also like to mention how great it was that the very talented Angela Kinsey earned a spot in Office/Heroes mash up. All in favor of Angela getting bumped to full cast member, say aye!

Corn Nuts, Strippers, and Papa's Cabin: Veronica Solves the Perfect Murder on "Veronica Mars"

Sigh. Can you believe that the latest pod of Veronica Mars episodes is already at a close? It seems like the beloved series only just returned from a way-too-long hiatus in the first place and now the CW have snatched the show right off the air again to bring us (ick) a reality series about the Pussycat Dolls.

To cut to the chase: No new Veronica Mars episodes until May 1st.

I'm heartbroken.

While I am sure you'll hear me whining over the next two months about how I miss my weekly glimpse into Neptune, I did want to talk about the resolution to the Dean O'Dell murder mystery, which wrapped up neatly last night in the latest installment of Veronica Mars ("Papa's Cabin").

And, yes, just as I suspected way back when, it was creepy TA Tim Foyle. But like most good murder mysteries, writer John Enbom left us guessing until the final moments as he and the show's writers/producers did such a fantastic job at including enough red herrings, incriminating leads, and probable suspects to draw attention away from Timmy and onto the dynamic duo of Mindy O'Dell and Professor (or is it Dr?) Hank Landry. Or was it Mindy and violent ex-husband (and Sheriff Lamb killer) Steve Botando? My point exactly.

It definitely did look like Mindy was guilty of something, even though it was her involvement in her husband's murder case that got the verdict changed from suicide to murder. But why would Mindy do that if she were in the clear? Well, for the massive insurance payout, which wouldn't have happened if Cyrus had offed himself; besides, O'Dell was going to divorce her and leave her with nothing. Meanwhile, he was going to destroy Landry's reputation, kick him out of the university, and tarnish his name. So both of them did have motive for killing poor, misunderstood Cyrus O'Dell. Which is exactly what Tim was banking on.

I thought it was hilarious to see former nemeses Veronica and Tim team up to free Professor Landry and unmask the real killer. These two have been at each other's throats the entire season and it was fantastic to get to see Tim in a sympathetic light. (Hell, I even felt bad for the guy when he heard his idol Landry--a "great man"--give him a poor reference for a teaching gig at Pepperdine University.) And it was a great way to show what a wonderful detective Veronica is, both in and out of the field. Especially compared to Tim.

But Tim was quite the devious evil genius, masterminding a plan that saw the death of the Dean, the imprisonment of Professor Landry (apparently shooting down one's employment opportunities is not cool in the academic set either), and the death of Mindy O'Dell. For the latter, Tim merely had to set up some mildly incriminating evidence and turn Hank and Mindy against one another and sit back and watch the whole house of cards topple over. And it did look bad for Mindy: she cashes in the insurance claim, buys a boat (after shipping her kids off to England), and disappears. Hank thought Mindy was going to make him take the fall (he even helped to clear her by switching O'Dell's computer keyboard with Botando's, hence the prints), confronts her, and they fight. Mindy really did think she was fighting for her life (she now thought he was the killer) and she goes overboard. Death by accidental drowning. Landry confesses (it was an accident) and is charged with manslaughter when Mindy's body washes up on the beach near Papa's Cabin.

Tim plants the incriminating shirt and gloves (taken from Landry's house) in the incinerator and waits for it to come to ground. He forces the stripper/eyewitness to say that she saw Landry the night of the murder outside a convenience store... and then leads Veronica right to her, where they discover that the alibi is fake as "Landry" had threatened to take her kid into foster care if she didn't comply. The call that traces them back to her was made on a disposable phone that Tim "happens" to find at Landry's house.

But the real clincher was the fact that Tim, newly elevated to the post of professor after Landry's arrest, arrogantly recounts the clues in the case against Landry and accidentally reveals that he knew that Mindy had shipped her kids to England. There's no way Tim could have known this... unless he had tapped Veronica's phone. Bingo. Veronica unspools the entire sad affair in front of their class (sorry you lost that plum TA gig, V) and confronts Tim.

So there. No one trumps Veronica, especially not on her own show. Thanks to Veronica, the real killer is finally unmasked, and she goes home and makes some "meat and potatoes" for Papa Keith, now acting sheriff (until the election).

I'm glad that Enbom stuck that wrap-up scene between the two of them at home, especially since Keith and Veronica are perhaps somewhat on opposite sides of the law now. With Keith wearing that tin star, he's got to represent law and order and Veronica? Well, Veronica takes certain liberties with the law (like, say, breaking and entering) that don't really go over too well with the new sheriff. So, while I was a little concerned with the tensions this new dimension to their relationship, would place on the funny between them, I'm glad to see that, at home at least, things are peachy keen between father and daughter.

Things also seem to be okay between Veronica and Logan, even as he and Parker inch closer to beginning a relationship with one another. I'm glad to see that Parker values her friendship with Veronica and, even though she's clearly attracted to Logan, tries to put her friendship first. Logan, meanwhile, tries to be mature and asks Veronica if it's okay if he asks Parker out; she actually agrees. Could it be that things, for now anyway, are truly over between them?

Looks like we'll have to wait until May to find out.

Next on Veronica Mars: it's a two-month wait for new episodes, but when we return from what will surely be a painful hiatus, Veronica sets up shop as a detective, takes up paintball, and maybe (just maybe) spends some much-needed time with Mac. See you in May!

What's On Tonight

8 pm: Jericho (CBS); Friday Night Lights (NBC); America's Next Top Model (CW; 8-10 pm); George Lopez/Knights of Prosperity (ABC); American Idol (FOX; 8-9:30 pm); Wicked Wicked Games (MyNet)

9 pm: Criminal Minds (CBS); Deal or No Deal (ABC); According to Jim/In Case of Emergency (ABC); Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? (FOX; 9:30-10 pm); Watch Over Me (MyNet)

10 pm: CSI: New York (CBS); Medium (NBC); Lost (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8-10 pm: America's Next Top Model.

It's the return of America's Next Top Model with a two-hour season premiere. On tonight's episode ("The Girl Who Won't Stop Talking"), 32 wannabe models are sent to a grueling boot camp, with the final 13 girls moving into a posh Hollywood Hills mansion. Meanwhile, that first photo shoot turns controversial. Dayhm, Tyra told me that.

8-10 pm: American Idol.

Tonight, it's the ladies' turn to perform as the top 10 female contestants take the stage.

10 pm: Lost.

I can't tell you how happy I am that Lost is back on the air again. On tonight's episode ("Tricia Tanaka Is Dead"): the gang discovers a Dharma-branded car on the island along with a mysterious key (courtesy of Vincent!), Hurley embarks on a mission, Kate and Sawyer are finally reunited with the Losties, and Kate pleads with the group to launch a rescue mission to free Jack.

Peacock Snags Posh and Becks for Reality Series

Following a tense bidding war, NBC has signed a deal for an untitled reality series documenting every moment of Victoria "Posh" Beckham's move to Los Angeles with husband, soccer star David Beckham. Reportedly, the ex-Spice Girl has been offered £10 million to do the series.

The series will be executive produced by American Idol's Simon Fuller (who, not so coincidentally, used to represent Posh and the rest of the Spice Girls back in the day) through his 19 Entertainment shingle. NBC is said to want to air the series as early as this summer.

But the question is: Do we really care?

I'm not entirely sure why NBC (desperate though they might be for another ratings hit) would spend this kind of dough on an already super-overexposed celebrity couple that most people don't bat an eyelash over outside of Blighty.

In fact, the only super-couples I'm interested in seeing on NBC next season are The Office's Jim and Pam and Liz Lemon and Jack Donaghy on the still-not-renewed 30 Rock.

NBC Bets on Fifth Season of "Las Vegas"

Lady Luck is on their side.

NBC has ordered a fifth season of veteran drama series Las Vegas, picking up the series for 2007-08.

The early renewal comes as a bit of a surprise as the Peacock had previously reduced the episode count of this season of Las Vegas to 17 episodes, rather than the traditional 22.

The series, created by Gary Scott Thompson, follows an elite surveillance team tasked with overseeing security of one of the largest casinos in Las Vegas. It stars James Caan, Josh Duhamel, Molly Sims, Nikki Cox, James Lesure, and Vanessa Marcil.

With the news of an early renewal, Las Vegas joins fellow NBC series Heroes, The Office, My Name is Earl, and Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, which have all received full season renewals for 2007-08.

Red Highlighters and House Arrests: Does "24" Feel a Little Tired?

Is it just me or is 24 feeling a little... tired this season?

Sure, it's had to face a crippling onslaught from new kid on the block Heroes, but it just sort of feels this season as if the series is just going through the motions: another presidential assassination attempt, another possible raid on a foreign consulate (don't get trigger-happy, Jack!), familial drama, etc. When half the episode involves Chloe wondering if Morris is drinking (hell, after being tortured with a drill and forced to create a suitcase nuke trigger, I'd need a drink too) and bursting into the men's room, something's not right in Bauer-land.

Yes, there were some nice twists... like Logan being the one that Jack needs to turn to in order to find Gredenko, though seeing as it was Jack's murderous dad Phillip that gave him the phone number, I wouldn't totally trust the crazy SOB to play fairly. And, wait, no one knows that Logan arranged the assassination on Palmer? So the grizzly dude is now under house arrest at his palatial estate and no one in America wonders where he is or what went down? Um, okay.

But the entire episode felt way too stretched out and a little unbelievable. (I also have a hard time accepting Jack tenderly stroking Marilyn's cheek as he bundles her and Josh--so obviously their son that it's infuriating--back in the car headed for CTU.) There's no way Morris would still be standing, much less plugging away at work. Why would Jack and Logan drive 45 minutes to the consulate when going via helicopter would be so much faster?

But why oh why would Reed Pollack plant that tape-recorder-turned-bomb on the podium and activate it before Palmer got up there to speak? That's just foolish. As soon as he started to position it (and it's highlighter-laden lode) on the podium, it was painfully obvious that it was Assad who would be killed/injured/plot deviced away by the blast. Similarly: why wouldn't the Biscuit (aka Tom Lennox) have told anyone about the assassination plot rather than go and meet his deputy chief of staff in a darkened basement room alone?

And that's perhaps the problem this season. In a show that's governed by the unexpected twists and turns (along with a clear through line and theme), 24 feels a little bit like it's gone off the rails lately. We've gotten so far away from any concise understand of what's going on (or going on inside these characters heads) that it's hard to really take this seriously... and we're nearly halfway through the season already.

Was it really only a few hours ago that Jack was nearly executed after being released from a Chinese prison? Did a nuclear bomb really go off in Valencia just a few hours ago? 'Cause no one seems to be acting that way. Instead, Chloe is moping around CTU, suspicious of Morris' erratic behavior, Bill Buchanan seems willing to give Morris "one more chance" despite putting at risk the lives of millions should the recovering alcoholic analyst not be up to the task.

But the real question is: where the hell did Jack get a suit from, all of the sudden? And why are they waiting around for Charles Logan to get dressed when there are millions of lives at stake?

Hmmm. Maybe that's just me asking that. But if that's what's sticking out most in my mind as the burning question after an episode of 24, there might just be something wrong.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: NCIS (CBS); Dateline (NBC); Gilmore Girls (CW); America's Funniest Home Videos (ABC); American Idol (FOX; 8-9:30 pm); Wicked Wicked Games (MyNet)

9 pm: The Unit (CBS); Law & Order: Criminal Intent (NBC); Veronica Mars (CW); Primetime (ABC); Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? (FOX; 9:30-10 pm); Watch Over Me (MyNet)

10 pm: Criminal Minds (CBS); Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (NBC); To Iraq and Back: Bob Woodruff Reports (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8-9:30 pm: American Idol.

Tonight, the top 10 male contestants perform for their chance at pop credibility and probable future anonymity.

8 pm: Gilmore Girls.

Le sigh. I'm not sure why I am still watching this, as it's just so damn depressing to watch this once-great series continue to fall off the tracks. On tonight's episode ("Will You Be My Lorelai Gilmore?"), Rory gets a call from The New York Times for an interview, Logan is forced to admit a business disaster, and Liz and TJ try to sell Luke's boat--Wait, sorry, I just can't do this anymore. I quit.

9 pm: Veronica Mars.

Sadly, tonight is the last installment until the dreaded Pussycat Dolls show steals its timeslot for, oh, two months. Grr. On tonight's installment ("Papa's Cabin"), it's the conclusion of the Dean O'Dell mystery as Veronica catches creepy TA Tim Foyle breaking into the Mars Investigations offices, Keith questions Mindy makes he believe Hank Landry killed O'Dell, while Wallace notices Logan and Parker canoodling at lunch. Have I said how much I love this show?

Casting Couch: Anna Paquin Bites Into "True Blood" for HBO

Anna Paquin has already played a mutant with an untouchable curse in the X-Men feature film franchise (along with, oh, a few dozen other characters, including one--The Piano--that netted her an Oscar), so why not a telepathic waitress with a thing for the undead?

But I'm not talking about any old telepathic waitress. No, I'm speaking of the lead in HBO's new drama pilot True Blood from writer/director/executive producer Alan Ball (Six Feet Under). The pilot is based on the Southern Vampire series of novels by Charlaine Harris.

Paquin will play Sookie Stackhouse, an innocent waitress who can read people's minds. In a small Louisana town, she comes into contact with the burgeoning underworld... which isn't quite so underground now that vampires can buy Japanese-made synthetic blood and mingle with the living. The vampires' emergence into everyday society throws Sookie into the arms of one of the undead and a love story (writ large by Ball) begins.

Also cast: Ryan Kwanten (Summerland) and Sam Trammell (Judging Amy). Kwanten will play Sookie's brother while Trammel will play the owner of the restaurant where Sookie works.

Personally, I've been tracking this project since it was first announced and I cannot wait to see what the confluence between Harris, Ball, and Paquin produces. It's one of the very few pilot scripts I've yet to get my greedy little mitts on, but, believe me, I'm trying.

"A Miserable Thing, This Race:" Rob and Amber Maintain Their Lead on "The Amazing Race"

It's funny how the smallest thing--a slow cab driver, a missed connection, a delayed flight--can radically alter the outcome of the game. And sometimes, on The Amazing Race, those things don't mean a lick of difference whatsoever.

Just take a look at Rob and Amber and Danny and Oswald on last night's episode of The Amazing Race. Even with a delayed flight that put the two leading teams all the way behind every single other team on the Race, they still managed to finish first and second, respectively. And there were no equalizers.

So just how did they do it? Pluck, determination, and grit, I guess. It also helped that they seem to be a hell of a lot more detail-oriented than the other teams. Racers left Cotopaxi National Park (well, most of them did: Mirna and Charla had to be towed by David and Mary) and made their way to Santiago, Chile. Rob and Amber and Danny and Oswald managed to get earlier flights but, thanks to delays, they ended up landing in Santiago after everyone else (the agents at the gate wouldn't let the teams board the flight with the others).

Drew was immediately beginning to rub me the wrong way. I loved the big lummox on TAR Season One, but you can just tell his heart isn't in the game this time, injuries or not. After seeing David put his and Mary's bags in the front of the plane (in first class), he took them down, saying that he should be putting his bags by his seat. David was none too pleased and said that if that's how they wanted to play the game, so be it. (Still, seeing is believing that Team Kentucky will ever play dirty.)

Arriving in Santiago, teams made their way to the Codelco Building, where they encountered the first roadblock of the season. In this Roadblock, one team member would make their way into a boardroom filled with businessmen (apparently late-night businessmen as it's now the middle of the night) and search the room for letters of the alphabet that were hidden throughout the room (on a piece of paper, on a pen, a tie, etc.) Teams would then have to unscramble the letters (omitting several) to match it to a destination inscribed on ten different photographs of locations around the room. While Dustin figured this out quickly, the other teams were stumped, especially Eric who spent longer than anyone else trying to figure out the puzzle, even AFTER he was told that the missing H he was so desperate to find was on a pen. (Not sure why Amber told him that, to be honest.)

(Aside: Strangely, it's Eric who's irking me more than Rob, who seems to have calmed down a little bit between installments of The Amazing Race. Scary, but true. So far, he's managed to play smartly without playing as dirty as he normally does. Well, except for asking the travel agent to not tell the other teams about the earlier flight, but really that's so childish, it's sweet.)

Rob and Amber and Danny and Oswald arrived at the Roadblock last, yet finished quickly and took off. Dustin and Kandice were in the lead, but several other teams were close behind them. They all headed to Chuquicamata copper mine, where they found a Detour. In By Machine, each team member had to operate a huge front loader to move enough gravel to cover a marker; in By Hand, teams had to secure a two-ton tire to a dump truck using bolts and washers. I'm not entirely sure why Rob and Amber and the Guidos were the only teams to choose By Machine as it seemed super-easy and took no time at all. The Beauty Queens lost their lead and drifted towards the back of the pack. David and Mary didn't bother paying attention to the details of the task and had to start over. Charla and Mirna wasted valuable time squabbling over a step-stool. (How else was she going to help, Mirna?)

Teri and Ian, in a hilarious twist, failed to notice the marked cars nearby and had someone drive them to the entrance of the mine, where (surprise!) there was nothing there either. I was really hoping that they would fail to see Dustin and Kandice sprinting past them to the marked trucks (damn), as I really, really, really dislike Teri and Ian.

Afterwards, teams had to make their way to the Valley of the Moon, a shifting landscape that required that they drive no faster than 40 kph (thanks to those shifting sands and hairpin turns), and then onwards to the Valley of the Dead, where they would be allowed to increase their speed to 50 kph (not that Drew noticed this). Rob and Amber checked in first (winning a pair of off-road motorcyles), followed closely by Danny and Oswald in second place.

Was it just me or did Mirna come off like a raving lunatic when she was haggling on the side of the road with the cab driver? Mirna and Charla were following a cab driver and they, in turn, were being followed by the Beauty Queens. Both teams pulled off the road and Mirna wanted Dustin and Kandice to fork over half of the exorbitant fee Mirna was paying the cabbie. The Beauty Queens didn't want to go along with the idea and hesitated, at which time Charla started in on them. ("Just chill out," they suggested to her.) Mirna began to have a fit and demanded they leave and then had a meltdown at the cabbie and kept trying to give him everything she owned ("What do you want from me?") or $20. I'm not sure which. Regardless, nearly every other team passed them while they argued. So, some good strategizing there, guys. Just brilliant. (And what was with the plastic surgery comment?)

Kevin and Drew blew their lead over the other teams by failing to realize that they could increase their speed to 50 kph once they exited the Valley of the Moon. Everyone passed them and Team Kentucky was shocked (shocked, I tell you!) when Charla and Mirna passed them. Mary in particular was furious at this turn of events (um, what did you expect, another six-pack alliance?) and couldn't believe their "friends" would do this to them.

Ultimately, everyone managed to check in before Kevin and Drew. But even before Phil could tell them that they were eliminated from the Race, Drew tries to walk off, not once, but twice, as Phil and Kevin had to drag him back to the mat. It's obvious that, regardless of any injuries or exhaustion (Drew needed to be treated with oxygen four times for altitude sickness at the last pit stop), Drew just did not want to be on the Race this time around. Which is sad, because I think they really should have been eliminated last week (and kept John Vito and Jill in the game). Sigh. Ah well.

Next week on The Amazing Race: Teri and Ian face off with Charla and Mirna at an airport ticket counter, while Danielle is, um, attacked by a fish during a Roadblock. Classic.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: How I Met Your Mother/The Class (CBS); Deal or No Deal (NBC); Everybody Hates Chris/All of Us (CW); Wife Swap (ABC); Prison Break (FOX); Wicked Wicked Games (MyNet)

9 pm: Two and a Half Men/Rules of Engagement (CBS); Heroes (NBC); Girlfriends/The Game (CW); Supernanny (ABC); 24 (FOX); Watch Over Me (MyNet)

10 pm: CSI: Miami (CBS); The Black Donnellys (NBC); Building A Dream: The Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: Everybody Hates Chris.

On tonight's episode ("Everybody Hates Chain Snatching"), Chris must come up with a replacement necklace when he foils Malvo's plan to steal Vanessa's gold chain. How does he get himself into these situations?

9 pm: 24.

It's Day Six of 24. While FOX doesn't give us much in the way of previews, here's what we do know: Palmer unexpectedly brings together two unlikely allies, Jack has a rendezvous with former President Logan, and CTU is forced to deal with an "unexpected weakness."

I Heart Ellen: Talk Show Doyenne Degeneres Rocks as Host of the Oscars

Like many others, I was a little concerned how Ellen Degeneres would do as host of the Oscars last night.

After all, Ellen is more of a television personality than one you normally associate with film (granted, yes, there was that star turn in Finding Nemo and let's not forget about Mr. Wrong), but I thought that the talk show host did a fantastic job last night. Dressed in a gorgeous red velvet pantsuit (accented with some white shoes), Ellen reminded the assemblage that they were there to celebrate the nominees, for whom this was a "make or break" evening. "I cannot imagine what you people are going through," she deadpanned.

Oscar host is not an easy job by any stretch of the imagination, yet I felt that Ellen kept it entertaining and engaging and the laughs coming. (Loved the bit about the diversity of the night, including Steve Carell.) She was affable, witty, and self-effacing and her opening monologue was not only hysterical but put the focus on the affair at hand. No movie-style montages in which she inserted herself, no Oscar night song medley featuring the named and titles of the nominees.

No, Ellen did what she does best: talk. Her gift of gab was a welcome addition to the proceedings and a reminder of, yes, the diversity of the evening itself. What other show can proclaim a lesbian host, nominees from around the globe, Latinos, African-Americans, and Asians all coming together? (Hell, what other show would feature a rousing standing ovation for Al Gore?)

Hosting the Oscars may have been a dream come true for Ellen (the second woman ever, after Whoopi Goldberg, to host the Academy Awards), but it was also a dream come true for me: to actually sit and enjoy the award show for the first time in years.

And, in the end, doesn't that make us all winners?

(Arcade) Fire and Rainn: Dwight Schrute on "Saturday Night Live"

Did anyone else happen to stay up and watch this weekend's Saturday Night Live, with Rainn Wilson and Arcade Fire hosting?

While the show itself was pretty much its usual yawnfest, Wilson acquitted himself quite well as a host, playfully going along with an opening monologue that spun into a very much appreciated Office spoof.

If you missed the episode, here--thanks to the magic of digital technology--is Wilson's opening monologue, complete with a cameo from a beloved Office mate and some rather amusing gags on Jim and Pam's constant mugging for the camera.



SNL might be nothing like The Office, but all the same, it made me smile.

Friday Morning Melancholia: Was "30 Rock" Better Than "The Office"?

Fridays can sometimes be a little bit sad for me (granted, the end of the work week is always a plus), especially when The Office isn't quite up to par and when, after coming home from a very late-running work dinner, I wished that instead of watching both The Office and 30 Rock, I had just watched the latter.

Don't get me wrong. The Office on even an off night is still better than 99% of the comedies on television, but because of my love for Dunder-Mifflin I do expect a little more out of the writers and directors on this show. And last night's episode ("Cocktails") was a bit of a mess. Sadly, I do feel that a lot of the blame for that lays squarely on the shoulders of guest director J.J. Abrams (Lost) whose direction last night was as jarring as last week's Joss Whedon-directed installment was smooth.

It just didn't cut together fluidly and, surprisingly for someone with Abrams' talents, it looked awful at times. Take a gander at the daytime driving scene with Michael and Dwight as they make their way to the cocktail party... the entire scene was overexposed and blown-out, making it look amateurish. I'm really, really surprised by this. Additionally, Abrams didn't seem to completely nail the style of the series, cutting when he should have held the shot, holding the shot when he should have cut.

Putting Abrams' involvement aside, I wasn't all that crazy about the episode's storylines either. While I liked the Jim and Karen stuff at the party and the idea of Michael and Jan "coming out" as a couple, I didn't think it was handled all that well by the script (from producer/actor Paul Lieberstein). Michael is a moron, but we've had enough of Michael blurting things out to last the rest of the season from the "Phyllis' Wedding" episode already; I also didn't accept the fact that he brought potato salad. And rather than have him be an absolute boor, I was hoping for just a glimmer of humanity from Michael that reminded Jan of maybe why she's with this guy (more than the shame spiral, anyway).

What I didn't like: the unfunny cold open with Michael and his escape artist magic trick (enough of failed magic tricks already; with the death of Arrested Development, let's leave the ghost of Gob in peace). Also, Dwight on the roof of the CFO's house, which took me completely out of the faked "reality" of the show. I can accept the fact that he's poking around these people's home (and thought the scene with him and the kid about the rocking chair was spot on) but to place him on the roof, testing the chimney, and to film it crossed the line a bit. And it just wasn't funny.

I thought Roy smashing the glass was unexpected but wish it had been a bigger moment as it is the culmination of his three-season-long storyline with Pam (who finally realizes it's completely over between them). All in all, it felt like filler until the next new episode, when Roy confronts Jim about The Kiss.

Meanwhile, 30 Rock deftly juggled three diverse storylines (Liz and Jack negotiate Josh's contract, Kenneth becomes a harmonizing part of Tracy's entourage, and Jenna makes a huge gaffe during her Maxim photo shoot), all of which were hilarious. This show has definitely hit its stride in recent weeks (I'm convinced that last week's episode was an unaired earlier installment, thanks to the paucity of laughs and Tracy's goatee) and has transformed from a well-it's-on-and-I-don't-watch-Grey's fill-in to a must-see comedy, thanks in part to the fact that Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) has become more of a solid den mother overseeing the craziness of her co-workers and letting them be as wacky and chaotic as they want to be.

Still, I am hoping that The Office can recover some of its traction in the next couple of weeks. After all, as much as I love the employees of 30 Rock's NBC (and its parent corporation, the Sheinhardt Wig Company, which "owns it outright"), I miss the good old days at Dunder-Mifflin. Am I alone in this feeling?

Next week on The Office ("Branch Closing"), it's a repeat of one of my favorite Office episodes this season as Michael tries to keep the employees of Dunder-Mifflin Scranton upbeat after he learns that their branch will be shutting down, leading everyone (especially Stanley) to imagine how their lives would be better if they DIDN'T work there anymore.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: Ghost Whisperer (CBS); 1 vs. 100 (NBC); WWE Friday Night SmackDown (CW; 8-10 pm); Grey's Anatomy (ABC); Nanny 911 (FOX); Wicked Wicked Games (MyNet)

9 pm: Close to Home (CBS); Las Vegas (NBC); 20/20 (ABC): Trading Spouses: Meet Your New Mommy (FOX); Watch Over Me (MyNet)

10 pm: NUMB3RS (CBS); Law & Order (NBC); 20/20 (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: Spoons on BBC America (11 pm ET).

It's the premiere of British sketch comedy series Spoons, in which the cast transform themselves into a series of character based on "fabulous young urbanites" in their most painful situations.

8:30 pm: Spaced on BBC America (11:30 pm ET).

It's the finale of one of the wackiest Britcoms ever devised. On tonight's episode ("Leaves"), Daisy and Tim concoct a plot to save themselves and their friends after Daisy disastrously revealed to Marsha that she and Tim weren't really a couple after all. Ouch.

10 pm: Hyperdrive on BBC America (9 pm ET)

On the sixth episode of this hilarious space station-set workplace comedy ("Assessment"), Henderson gives the HMS Camden Lock over to York to face a high-level inspection.

10:40 pm: Feel the Force on BBC America (9:40 pm ET)

It's the US premiere of UK cop spoof Feel the Force. On tonight's episode, Frank and Bobbins are left out of a rather big, rather important undercover investigation. Hilarity ensues.

"What the Hell is the Brady Bunch?": Strangers in a Strange Land on "Lost"

Color me slightly confused. The promos for last night's episode of Lost ("Stranger in a Strange Land") promised us the reveal behind three of the series' most burning questions, but, um, didn't quite deliver on that guarantee.

Nor am I entirely clear what three mysteries they were to be as I didn't quite get the full answers to anything. (Still, I am assuming they meant Jack's tattoos, the fate of the kidnapped kiddies, and WTF happened to Cindy the flight attendant.)

The title itself, "Stranger in a Strange Land," is an allusion to Robert A. Heinlein about a human raised by Martians on Mars, who returns to his home planet of Earth as an adult. It also features a religious movement called the Church of All Worlds, a mystery religion that blends various elements of different belief systems with psychic training. Nice parallels, guys!

Sawyer and Kate make their way back to the big island with a semi-conscious Karl who's lovesick over his separation with Alex and knows that if he tries to see her again, the Others (and especially Alex's adoptive Daddy Ben) will kill him for sure. But he does reveal a few things to the Losties (and I am glad he never made it back to camp with the Kate and Sawyer, which would have just been weird): (1) Othersville, the place that Ben calls "home" is on the big island, (2) Alcatraz is where they "work" and conduct projects and most of them don't like going there, (3) they have backyards, meaning that Alex must have been raised in Othersville, (4) the people (and kids) taken were given "a better life," and (5) the Others obviously don't watch television regularly, as Karl had no idea who or what The Brady Bunch was. (What exactly are they teaching these kids?)

The Lost Flashback of the Week belongs to Jack, who seems to be living a life of leisure on the beach in Phuket, Thailand. While attempting to build a kite, he meets the mysterious Achara (Bai Ling) and falls into bed with her, despite knowing nothing about her besides the fact that she regularly received packed envelopes of cash and has a "gift." That gift it turns out is recognizing the essence of an individual and then creating a marking. Against her will, Jack forces her to read him (he's a leader but he's scared) and then mark him. Achara doesn't want to do this and she says that there will be consequences ("There always are," Jack replies). The following day, Jack gets the wind knocked out of him by five locals (including Achara's brother) who want him to leave right away, as Achara looks on, crying. Turns out Achara was right: the marking process is for locals only and Jack (and she) transgressed by making it otherwise. But one curious fact: the tattoo Achara gives him is just the Chinese characters and not the rest of the ornate tattoo... so just exactly what does the rest of it mean (the number 5? coincidence that he was attacked by 5 men?) and when did he get it?

Meanwhile, Jack struggles to fit in with the Others but, like everyone else on this show in every situation, he's still a stranger in a strange land. Just when he was getting comfortable in his little glass cell (nice touch with Tom referring to it as a glass house and asking if he wanted some stones), Jack is booted outside and locked up in the bear cages. (Should I feel bad that, unlike Sawyer, he wasn't able to get a fish treat?) And poor Juliet is locked up inside. Seems the Others aren't too keen on the concept of murdering their own and Juliet is placed on trial, marked for execution for the murder of Danny Pickett last week. Overseeing the trial is the local "sheriff" Isabelle (played with gleeful malice by Wonderfalls' Diana Scarwid) who, among her many talents, can read Chinese and translates Jack's tattoo. (Hint: it means "He who walks among us, but is not one of us.")

Isabelle wants to execute Juliet but Jack covers for her at the inquest, saying that he made up the story about Juliet asking him to kill Ben. Isabelle doesn't believe him for a second but I like the fact that Jack and Juliet seem to be forming an alliance together. Juliet asks Jack for help treating Ben, whose stitches have gotten a wee bit infected. Jack refuses, even though he knows Juliet is in trouble. (Not sure why though.)

He wakes up the following morning to find a crowd of onlookers gathered outside his cage, including the missing flight attendant, Cindy. She tries calmly talking to him (she seems unharmed, if possibly brainwashed) as Zach and Emma, the missing kids, saunter up, also looking healthy and happy (and Zach carrying that teddy bear last seen in the jungle.) It's interesting that they're wearing normal clothes and aren't the muddy little jungle tykes last seen in Season Two. Emma wants to know how Ana-Lucia is (oy, that's a conversation for another day) and Cindy says that they are just there to "watch"... something. Typically, Jack doesn't ask the important questions and they leave without revealing anything other than the Others' plans aren't so "simple." And was it just me or did little Zach creep you out with the way he stared at Jack long after the rest of his group departed?

Jack agrees to help Ben and goes to see him after Alex intervenes (and takes out the camera spying on the bear cage); she's furious that Jack would help Ben after everything he's done to Jack and the Losties. But he only agrees to help Ben, really to help Juliet. After all, Ben promised both of them they could leave the island and Jack intends to see Ben follow through on that pledge. Thanks to Ben's involvement, execution is no longer an option and Juliet is instead marked (gee, just like Jack!) with what appears to be a star-shaped brand. Not sure what the shape signifies or why it was placed on her lower back. (Hmmm, but I sure did love that little frisson that passed between Jack and Juliet as he applied aloe to her back.) And we finally learned what Ethan's role among the Others was: the mysterious Mr. Rom was their surgeon. Curiouser and curiouser.

But it's all happy families (or is it?) by the end of the episode as Jack, Juliet, Tom, and Ben board a ship to take them back to the big island and Othersville. I'm extremely happy at the change of scenery and hope that Jack's travels to their little commune reveals a hell of a lot more about the Others, like why there's that big evergreen in the middle of the town, why they can watch sports events but not The Brady Bunch, and just what the purpose is behind their not-really-so-idyllic existence.

Next week on Lost ("Tricia Tanaka Is Dead"): the gang discovers a Dharma-branded car on the island along with a mysterious key (courtesy of Vincent!), Hurley embarks on a mission, Kate and Sawyer are finally reunited with the Losties, and Kate pleads with the group to launch a rescue mission to free Jack.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: Survivor: Fiji (CBS); My Name is Earl/The Office (NBC); Smallville (CW); Grey's Anatomy (ABC); American Idol (FOX); Wicked Wicked Games (MyNet)

9 pm: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (CBS); Scrubs/30 Rock (NBC); Supernatural (CW); Grey's Anatomy (ABC); The O.C. (FOX); Watch Over Me (MyNet)

10 pm: Shark (CBS); ER (NBC); Men in Trees (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: My Name is Earl.

On tonight's episode ("Guess Who's Coming Out of Joy"), Earl recalls the happy days when Joy was pregnant with a child he thought was his and remembers how his dad (guest star Beau Bridges) urged him to stay with her.

8:30 pm: The Office.

Over on The Office("Cocktails"), it's J.J. Abrams' time to shine as he directs an episode in which Michael and Jan make their ongoing relationship known at a cocktail party thrown at the home of the Dunder-Mifflin CFO, Jim meets Karen's ex-boyfriend, and the rest of the gang head out for some happy hour drinks.

9 pm: The OC.

Time to wax nostalgic as Seth, Summer, Ryan, Kiki, JuJu, Sandy and the whole gang in Newport Beach sails off into the sunset tonight with its series finale. While I gave up the series cold turkey a loooong time ago, I might just have to sneak a peek and see how things wrap up. Just as long as they promise not to do that obnoxious glimpse into the future thing with a wrinkly Seth and Summer reminisce.

9 pm: Scrubs.

Finally! Scrubs is back on NBC's schedule, where it belongs. On tonight's episode ("My Therapeutic Month"), J.D. falls for a sexy physical therapist but can't seem to ask her out, while Turk is sent back to residency thanks to a broken arm and realizes he knew less about medicine than he thought. D'oh.

9:30 pm: 30 Rock.

I can't get this show off of my mind grapes. On tonight's episode ("Hard Ball"), Tracy gives Kenneth the Page a prized spot in his entourage, Jenna is misquoted in a magazine, and Jack negotiates Josh's new contract.

Casting Couch: Taye Diggs Scrubs in for "Grey's" Spinoff

Following the announcement yesterday that ABC is developing a spinoff of medical drama Grey's Anatomy, the network has cast Taye Diggs in the potential spinoff.

Grey's Anatomy will feature an upcoming two-hour backdoor pilot in May that will center on Kate Walsh's Dr. Addison Shepherd; the plot will revolve around Addison deciding whether to leave Seattle Grace Hospital; if ABC decides to pickup the potential spinoff series, Grey's fans will have to say goodbye to the former Mrs. McDreamy.

No details were immediately available on what character Taye Diggs, last seen in ABC's failed drama Day Break, will play or what his involvement will be in the two-hour backdoor pilot.

The as-yet-untitled Grey's spinoff will be in contention for a slot on the 2007-08 schedule and will be written by Grey's creator/executive producer Shonda Rhimes, whose other drama pilot this season--about female journalists--has been pushed back to a summer production start, but it too is still up for possible series pickup.

Casting Couch: Amanda Righetti to Play "Marlowe" Sidekick

Every good private eye needs a sassy assistant/sidekick. (Just look at Papa Keith and Veronica for proof of that.) And Phillip Marlowe just found his.

Amanda Righetti (who to me will always be remembered best as the spoiled Hailey on The OC) has been cast in ABC's drama pilot Marlowe, a modern-day update of Raymond Chandler's classic noir character who solves cases and nurses hangovers in contemporary Los Angeles. She joins Jason O'Mara (Monarch of the Glen's Fergal), who plays the titular private eye.

Righetti will play Nancy, an aspiring dancer who's also Marlowe's part-time gal Friday. But don't discount any sexual tension there. In fact, the two have a rather tortured past together (hint: she was once the victim of a crime Marlowe investigated, but that's all I'm saying for now).

I actually quite liked the script to Marlowe (written by Greg Pruss and Carol Wolper), which offered a modern noir drama with hard-boiled dialogue, sultry femme fatales, and some fisticuffs to make any fan of Chandler's (or of Rian Johnson's recent noir high school flick Brick) salivate.

On the Lam(b): Rare Coins, Valentines, and Mars Bars on "Veronica Mars"

Um, wow. I don't know about you but I didn't see that one coming.

I'm talking, naturally, about last night's episode of Veronica Mars ("Mars Bars"), which gave a us a much-needed one-two punch to our collective solar plexus in the form of the death of a much beloved (or maligned depending on your viewpoint) character who has been a major part of the series since the pilot.

I'm extremely glad that the CW didn't blow this one by endlessly touting the death of a character in the promos, but when when the end did come it was definitely a surprise, and a really depressing one at that.

I have to say that I really enjoyed the two-parter format, which gave the writers (John Enbom and Phil Klemmer) a chance to create a really intricate, multi-layered standalone mystery that managed to be engaging and thought-provoking. Unlike some of the single-episode mysteries, the basketball coach's murder offered some surprising twists and turns, enabled by the fact that they had two episodes to spill over into. If Rob Thomas and the CW plan to do away with the overarching mysteries in the future, perhaps the two-episode format is a worthy compromise in the end.

While Veronica managed to solve the case (though sort of helped to aid and abet the prime suspect, innocent though he may be), I'll leave that discussion alone to focus on the big things, instead. Like that aforementioned death of a major character. I had a bad feeling when Sheriff Lamb went into the O'Dell's house with only Sachs as backup, but when Lamb took out that offending mirror with a shot, I felt the mood deflate. Whew. Um, wrong. Mindy's drug addict ex-hubby Steve Botando (guest star Richard Grieco) attacks him from behind with a baseball bat and continued to pummel him on the ground. (That, kids, is why you never lower your gun in a home invasion situation.) Sachs and Keith--who had shown up at the O'Dells' after all--rush in as poor Lamb lays, hovering between life and death, on the floor.

Lamb does manage to offer one last line before he goes into the good night: "It smells like bread."

Truly heartbreaking.

I'm for one glad that Rob Thomas and Co. never made Lamb a sympathetic character in the end; we were given a slight glimpse into his past (and offered a glimmer of humanity) when it was revealed that the not-so-good Sheriff was possibly abused as a child. But ultimately what made Lamb such a fun character (along with a gleeful performance by Michael Muhney) was his sharp edges. Thanks to his death, those edges will never get a chance to soften into something mushy or congenial. No, Lamb died as he lived: arrogant, boorish, and plunging headlong into sudden death without a second thought. He'll be missed.

I'm very excited to see where Keith's new role as re-appointed town sheriff takes him. I know that it's always been in the cards to have Keith come full circle and regain his sheriff's badge and I'm glad that, with a possible cancellation (please god, no!) looming, we'll at least get to see Keith fulfill his destiny as the law and order around Neptune. And, with only a few episodes remaining, I'm glad Rob Thomas decided to give Keith his due now rather than wait until (hopefully) Season Four to do so. I can't wait to see what happens!

Meanwhile, we did get some further clues into Dean O'Dell's death, which looks likely to wrap up next week. Looks like Veronica and Keith didn't exactly get the time of death right, after all; that ear witness who heard the shot pinpointed it around the time that Space Ghost was going on, but thanks to a time-delay on Channel 9 for sports, the episode in question was actually on an hour later that previously thought. Which means that the whole who-took-Mindy's-car-from-the-hotel question is now invalidated as the timing is completely off.

Then there's the blood-stained shirt (monogrammed no less with Professor Landry's initials) and gloves that Weevil found stashed in the school's basement. Was it meant to have been disposed of (and destroyed) or was it planted there? (An odd place to plant something, regardless, with very little chance of it being found.)

Fingerprints found on O'Dell's computer keyboard (the "suicide note" was typed after all) are matched to Mindy O'Dell's ex-husband Steve Botando but he's convinced she's trying to frame him. Even though he probably didn't prove his innocence by, you know, murdering Sheriff Lamb or anything.

And finally there's the matter of the listening device planted inside Professor Landry's mobile phone. If Veronica and Keith didn't plant that, then who did? (TA Tim?) Or is Landry toying with them as they inch closer to fingering him as the killer? Did he cause a huge stink in order to get them to back off? If so, he's more devious (and far more clever) than I thought. But the use of Veronica's perfect murder paper makes him far too obvious a killer. So is he covering for Mindy? And just what happened that night in the hotel room and what was said between Landry, Mindy, and O'Dell? Curious.

(Personally, I've been thinking the reason Mindy can't remember seeing Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, is because Landry drugged her and snuck out, but made sure to choose a film he'd already seen in case he was questioned.)

Is it just me or were Mac and Bronson absolutely adorable last night? It's fantastic finally seeing Mac in a healthy sexual relationship and it's about time as the poor girl has earned it, after everything she went through with Cassidy last season. The Valentine's scavenger hunt was a lot of fun, especially as a heartbroken Logan was dragged into it by Mac. It was a perfect twist to see loner Logan suddenly surrounded by our much-missed supporting cast... and the unexpected sparks between Logan and Parker. (I actually think they are a great couple... and it would leave the door open for a possible Veronica/Piz relationship. Tee hee.) LOVED that, after all of their hard work, they still came in third place (or "second loser," as Mac noted). If there's one thing this show isn't, it's overly sentimental. And that's just how I like it.

Next week on Veronica Mars ("Papa's Cabin"), it's the conclusion of the Dean O'Dell mystery as Veronica catches creepy TA Tim Foyle breaking into the Mars Investigations offices, Keith questions Mindy makes he believe Hank Landry killed O'Dell, while Wallace notices Logan and Parker canoodling at lunch. Have I said how much I love this show?

What's On Tonight

8 pm: Jericho (CBS); Friday Night Lights (NBC); Beauty & the Geek (CW); George Lopez/Knights of Prosperity (ABC); American Idol (FOX; 8-10); Wicked Wicked Games (MyNet)

9 pm: Criminal Minds (CBS); Deal or No Deal (ABC); One Tree Hill (CW); Lost (ABC); American Idol (FOX); Watch Over Me (MyNet)

10 pm: CSI: New York (CBS); Medium (NBC); Lost (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: Beauty & the Geek.

What can I say? I'm a sucker for Beauty & the Geek. It might not be the most original or thought-provoking reality TV series on the air, but this "social experiment" from "Ashton Kutcher" always makes me chuckle. On tonight's episode ("Beauties and Geeks Reunite"), it's a reunion episode as the beauties and geeks all reunite in New York to take a look back at some of the memorable scenes from this past season, while everyone at home gets an update on where they are now (and if their hairsyles reverted to pre-makeover days).

8 pm: Jericho.

Jericho returns tonight with brand-new episodes after it's recent winter hiatus; for a sneak peek of tonight's flashback-laden episode, look no further than here.

8-10 pm: American Idol.

Tonight, it's the ladies' turn to perform as the top 12 female contestants take the stage.

9 pm: Lost.

If you missed last week's stunner of an episode ("Flashes Before Your Eyes"), here's your chance to catch it. Or if you're still puzzling over the craziness that was Fionnula Flanagan's turn as the jewelry-selling Ms. Hawkins, watch it all over again.

10 pm: Lost.

I can't tell you how happy I am that Lost is back on the air again. On tonight's episode ("Stranger in a Strange Land"), there's a power struggle between Jack and the Others following the completion of Ben's surgery, Kate, Sawyer, and Karl continue their flight from "Alcatraz." And the answer to three burning questions, including what happened to the kids taken from the tail section, what the Others want, and what the deal is with flight attendant Cindy. I cannot bloody wait!

Cursed Numbers: Why "Lost" Seems to Be Losing Viewers

Maybe the computer countdown digits aren't Lost's only cursed numbers, after all.

Longtime readers of Televisionary will remember that I sided very much against ABC's decision to pull Lost for 13 weeks in a (now fatal) attempt to launch a new serialized drama Day Break. I think, between the failure of Day Break and the horrific erosion of viewers for Lost, that it was a monumental error on ABC's part to yank Lost for so long... and to return it to a third timeslot in three years.

If you recall, I had sat down with the producer of a top US series (here called Mr. Producer for the sake of anonymity and mystery) to get his take on Lost's controversial hiatus (hint: he too was against it), and he's kindly returned with some further thoughts, now that the series has returned to the airwaves.

So, what does Mr. Producer think of the ABC execs who decided to schedule the season this way? "Those foolish programming execs must be eating crow now," he said, "as Lost has hemorrhaged half its audience from last season, destroying a valuable programming asset that was bringing in millions in revenue."

It was those execs that made some enormous blunders in scheduling the early six episodes of Lost (a mere appetizer, if you ask me) in the fall and then holding off on any new episodes until midseason, but they definitely compounded the problem by shifting it to a later timeslot at 10 pm. According to Mr. Producer: "ABC let time slot competition Criminal Minds expand its audience, further cemented by CBS posting it in the sweet spot after the Super Bowl. With Idol in the mix, and Minds achieving sky-high ratings, ABC felt it had no choice to move Lost to a later time."

So the execs made the only choice at their disposal then, right? "No, if the execs couldn't stop their trigger-fingers from itching, they should have actually moved it to 8 pm, thus exposing it to a greater audience who has just sat down to watch television," Mr. Producer continued. "For the most part, Idol would be out of its way (excluding its Hollywood audition rounds), and its competition would have simply been a mix of reality shows (Beauty and the Geek/Top Model), the severely ratings starved drama Friday Night Lights, the similarly hiatus-scheduled Jericho, and Bones. Lost would have cut a bloody path through all those dramas and perhaps would have sent Friday Night Lights to its shallow grave."

But wasn't the old complaint that Lost's original timeslot (that would be Wednesdays at 8 pm) was too early? Our producer friend doesn't agree with that at all. In fact, he believes that Lost is actually a great family show and the move to the 10 o'clock hour has alienated a lot of its audience. "People don't want to stay up that late to watch it," says Mr. Producer, "and those who are DVR-less are simply screwed. Plus, most likely people without DVR aren't the same people who are willing to watch it on ABC.com either."

Then there's the matter of that timeslot change. Mr. Producer thinks that the series' more casual viewers aren't even aware that the show's air time has changed; while everyone knew that the show was returning, ABC has confused the issue slightly by airing reruns--of last week's first run installment--the following week at 9 pm. In fact, if one were to add the ratings for the encore presentation of "Not in Portland" to the winter premiere ratings, the numbers are actually higher than the ratings for the fall and on par with last season's ratings.

"Perhaps the audience is still there," he suggests, "they are just fragmented due to lack of understanding of how the show has been scheduled. They may even be tuning into the encore because these viewers think its a new episode and turn off the television before they realize there is a new episode following in the 10 pm hour."

Or, again, they're DVR-less and unwilling to stay up until 11 pm to watch the show... a definitely likelihood if we buy into the family viewing theory. Most Americans do go to bed around 10 pm, after all. And, as long as ABC offers the 9 pm viewing option (albeit a week late), some viewers may continue to watch that rather than the first-run episodes at 10 pm.

So, ultimately, what can ABC do at this point to stem the tide of audience erosion? Both Mr. Producer and I agree that ABC should either return Lost to its 9 pm timeslot. Or do something really daring and surprise us all by moving it all the way to 8 pm.

After all, with Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse talking about how they want to end the series around episode 100, wouldn't it behoove the network to actually get Lost to Season Five at this point?

"Amazing Race: All Stars"... Now With Even More Rob and Amber!

Hopefully you all enjoyed, like yours truly, a spectacular three-day weekend that was filled more with Rome, Extras, and the season premiere of The Amazing Race: All Stars than with thoughts of Britney Spears shaving her head.

(Though to be honest, as sick as I am of Britney and her one-day-rehab-shaving-off-locks ways, I do think I am slightly more fed up with Rob Mariano, but that's just me.)

I've been really looking forward to this season, which brings back some familiar faces to the Race, but I have really been dreading the return of Romber, the aggressively competitive team of professional reality TV gluttons Rob and Amber, after two Survivor installments, Amazing Race, their free wedding, and their own Fox Reality channel series. While Rob and Amber might have their fans (and, lordy, I do know a few of them), I was really hoping that executive producers Elise Doganieri and Bertram van Munster would opt to leave them out of the mix.

C'est la vie.

As usual, 11 teams set out on a race around the world, but this time we already pretty much know the strengths and weaknesses of each team. Can David and Mary stop bickering and play rough? Will Charla continue to carry dead weight Mirna? Will Drew and Kevin push themselves physically? Will everyone hate the Beauty Queens this time around? And will everyone stop fixating on Rob and Amber long enough to actually play the game?

One things that drives me crazy about The Amazing Race is the way that all of the teams follow one another and it was no different this time as Danny and Oswald (formerly known as Team Cha Cha Cha) took the lead out of the parking lot and headed to the airport, with Rob and Amber and John Vito and Jill right behind them. But I was blown over with surprise by the fact that Rob and Amber actually held the shuttle for Danny and Oswald (hell, I think even Rob was surprised by his own actions). "It was the first kind gesture I have made, so I want it noted," he said. "It killed me to do it, too." Could this arrogant competitor have actually grown a little soft? Or this is an effort to lure their fellow Racers into a false sense of calm?

Note to all future Amazing Race teams: just because a flight leaves earlier, doesn't mean it gets to the destination earlier than a flight that departs later. It's a little known property of physics called the layover. Remember this, kids. I heart David and Mary like nobody's business but shouldn't they have asked the question BEFORE the ticket agent generated their tickets? I was definitely impressed with the way they tried to lie to Dustin and Kandice, especially since that delay cost the Beauty Queens the final seat on the American flight, snagged by Teri and Ian (of whom, truth be known, I am not a fan) after being tipped off about the Copa flight by Team Kentucky.

Flying off to Ecuador on Flight #1: Danny and Oswald, Rob and Amber, John Vito and Jill, Charla and Mirna, and Teri and Ian. On Flight #2: Dustin and Kandice, Joe and Bill (aka Team Guido), Uchenna and Joyce, Eric and Danielle (blech), Kevin and Drew, and David and Mary. Of course, the entire choosing-a-flight scenario didn't matter a jot as they ended up arriving in Quito to discover an equalizer. After locating a clue directing them to Pim's Restaurant, teams discovered that they would draw numbers for a set time of departure the following morning (7:00, 7:15 or 7:30 am) and spend the night outside the restaurant. Yawn. I know equalizers exist within the race to keep the drama going, but it just frustrated me quite this early on.

I don't think Kevin and Drew are destined to stay in the Race for very long; while I love this constantly bumbling and fighting pair, they just don't seem to be in this for the long haul and it feels like their hearts just aren't in it to win it. Drew tripped and fell in the Plaza San Francisco, scraping his knee and "dislocating" his shoulder. Come on, guys, it's the FIRST leg of the Race; let's not give up just yet.

The next morning, teams head out on a 65-mile drive to Hacienda Yanahurco, a gorgeous ecological preserve in Cotopaxi National Park; they were told explicitly to enter though the north entrance of the park. And straightaway, I knew that that wouldn't be happening for at least... two teams. Romber of course manage to get a taxi driver to lead them from Quito right to the north entrance of the park, where they encountered the very first Detour of the season. In Recover It, teams had to dress in historical military uniform and scour the hills for three items missing from the ensemble: a sword, an epaulet, and a button. (A button?) In Wrangle It, teams have the help of local cattle rustlers to lasso a wild horse which they then help groom: clipping its hooves and trimming its mane and tail.

Rob and Amber choose Recover It, a mistake as tasks constructed around finding things on the Race tend to take forever. But after attempting to find a missing button (duh), they quickly changed to Wrangle It and managed to finish before Danny and Oswald even reached the park. (Damn taxi driver.) Rob and Amber checked in at the pit stop first and received a luxury vacation package to Whistler, Canada, as their prize. (Grr.) But Danny and Oswald finished their chosen task (Wrangle It) and checked in shortly after.

(Aside: did anyone else notice that Rob and Amber smartly brought along some rather small bags instead of those cumbersome backpacks everyone else has got? Clever, not to mention a future time-saver.)

John Vito and Jill, meanwhile, made the mistake of following a local who had no idea where he was going and ended up miles away from the park. They finally managed to find it but accidentally entered through the South Entrance. (Remember just how important those instructions were?) Charla and Mirna did the same thing, while Kevin and Drew ended up with a flat. But rather than change the tire, they opted to drive on the flat and managed to squeeze by into 10th place.

Sadly, John Vito and Jill, who has started off so strongly, were the very last team to arrive and they were eliminated from the Race. I'm kinda sad that these two were booted in the very first week because I would have liked to have seen more of them this time around. Could they have won? I'm not so sure, but it would have been fun to see them try.

So, there you have it, the first installment of what will hopefully be a high-stakes installment of The Amazing Race, complete with some all-star teams competing for the million dollar cash prize and bragging rights. Personally, I'm rooting for Danny and Oswald, the Beauty Queens, and David and Mary (LOVED their "Missing" t-shirts with pics of the Cho Brothers). I do love Uchenna and Joyce, but they've already won this game once already. Who will be eliminated next? Find out next Sunday.

Next week on The Amazing Race: the teams head to Chile while the Beauty Queens get a mouthful of words from one angry Charla.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: NCIS (CBS); Dateline (NBC); Gilmore Girls (CW); America's Funniest Home Videos (ABC); American Idol (FOX; 8-10 pm); Wicked Wicked Games (MyNet)

9 pm: The Unit (CBS); Law & Order: Criminal Intent (NBC); Veronica Mars (CW); Primetime (ABC); Watch Over Me (MyNet)

10 pm: CSI: Miami (CBS); Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (NBC); Boston Legal (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8-10 pm: American Idol.

Simon, Randy, and Crazy--I mean, Paula Abdul--continue their search for the next great American Idol. Tonight, the top 12 male contestants perform for their chance at pop credibility and probable future anonymity.

8 pm: Gilmore Girls.

Le sigh. I'm not sure why I am still watching this, as it's just so damn depressing to watch this once-great series continue to fall off the tracks. On tonight's episode ("I'm a Kayak, Hear Me Roar"), Lorelai is forced to tell her parents that her marriage to Christopher has fallen apart (surprise), while Emily imposes a teetotaler policy at Friday night dinners in order to help Richard recover from his heart attack. All in favor of ending this once great show, say aye.

9 pm: Veronica Mars.

YAY! Veronica *finally* returns (at least for a few weeks, before the dreaded Pussycat Dolls reality show knocks it off the schedule again) with new episodes. On tonight's installment ("Mars, Bars"), it's part two of a two-part episode in which Sheriff Lamb is forced to release Veronica from jail, an on-the-lam Josh tries to convince Veronica that he's being framed for his father's murder (and kidnaps Mason), and Logan joins Mac and Parker for a Valentine's Day scavenger hunt.