[Televisionary]

Oh my god, I can't tell you how much I loved last night's episode of The Amazing Race ("Sorry, Guys, I'm Not Happy to See You"), which had it all: snappy dialogue, breakneck pacing, underdogs pulling through to stay in the game, and a massive, massive comeuppance for one duo. Before getting into the specifics, I do want to clarify one thing. Nate, by now I hope that you've realized the error of your ways. I don't mean your heinous mistreatment of Jen (the two of you are clearly made for each other if not meant to be together), but your complete and utter misinformation about Taiwan, which is not now nor ever will be known for its "Thai food." That would be, um, Thailand. Jen meanwhile seems hellbent on making up her own words. This week's bon mots? "Cold- blinded." I am not entire sure what that means, to be honest. I am definitely rooting for Ron and Christina at this point. They managed to get on that first flight to Taipei, whic

If Ron would shut up for once, I'd gladly give him the million dollars at this point. Some of you may be surprised by that statement, given the fact that I've bemoaned abrasive father Ron's treatment of Christina during this season of The Amazing Race , but at the end of the day they're the only team I'd really be happy with winning at this point, now that Goths Kynt and Vyxsin are out of the race. On this week's episode of The Amazing Race ("I Just Hope He Doesn't Croak On Us"), Ron did try his damned not to be overbearing, which brought the contestants to Osaka, Japan, and to support saintly daughter Christina as they raced their way to a first place finish. While Ron does find it impossible not to say anything (just take a look at the way he harped on the taxi driver dropping them off away from the airline terminal entrance for an example), I was impressed this week with the way he stayed level-headed and optimistic for a change. Christina was

Sigh. I am really, really upset with how this season of The Amazing Race has shaken out on CBS. It's not that I am unhappy with the setup this season (it's light years better than the best-forgotten Family Edition). Plus, the return of the series to CBS' strike-affected schedule has been a beacon of hope and a stark reminder that reality series needn't be trashy in order to be captivating. So what's my problem, then? It's that I am deeply saddened that the one team I was really rooting for--Goths Kynt and Vyxsin, natch--were eliminated this week after nearly squeezing past Nate and Jennifer and staying in the game. Argh. Sure, they had that meltdown two weeks ago when Kynt started screaming at Vyxsin to stop the car (I did really think for a split second he was going to jump out) and said car promptly quit on them, but they managed to stay in the game, thanks to the first of only two non-elimination rounds this season. However, this being The Amazing Race , the

If one positive programming-related development comes out of the networks' sudden and terrifying need for mass quantities of reality TV, this is it. CBS has quickly ordered another season --the series' 13th--of reality stalwart The Amazing Race , a series many had written off after it failed to find a place earlier this year on the network's fall schedule. The Tiffany Network had originally intended to hold Season Twelve of The Amazing Race until sometime in 2008 but, after the swift and justified guillotining of musical-drama Viva Laughlin , went ahead and gave that timeslot back to TAR . The strategy has paid off as Amazing Race has racked up its best ratings since 2005 and CBS' decision to quickly pick it up for another season makes me believe we'll be seeing another edition of the Phil Keoghan-hosted series before the 2007-08 season is out. (According to Reality Blurred , casting on the 13th season is already complete.) Let's just hope it's not another

While I've been really enjoying this season of The Amazing Race (especially after the evil, evil blondes got cut), I am really quite curious about whether or not there will be a non-elimination leg. After all, I was convinced that this week's episode ("Cherry on Top of the Sundae That's Already Melted") would prove to be a non-elimination but I was dead wrong. This week's installment took the teams to the stunningly beautiful city of Dubrovnik, Croatia... after a series of irritating airport-related problems that separated the teams into three clumps that removed all tension and mystery from who would be eliminated. That said, I was surprised to see Azaria and Hendekea catch up to Nicholas and Donald, who took forever on the Road Block task and allowed the sibs to nearly catch up with them (or so it seemed from some sneaky editing, anyway). While the airport-related snafus are always a part of Amazing Race , the editors seem to telegraph them far too easily t

Oh. My. God. This was hands-down the single most hysterical episode of The Amazing Race in recent memory. I am not sure if the editors were given the brief of injecting some much needed humor (typically along the painful lines) into the show, but it has proven to be chockablock with hilarity so far this season. What other reality series would have a contestant reverse their car into the path of an oncoming bus as Jennifer did so nonchalantly last night... and have a cameraman as savvy as theirs to pull out in order to frame a way-too-calm Jennifer, a freaking out Shana, and the behemoth of a bus bearing down on them? I also couldn't help but replay the scene of Jennifer falling off of her stilts as she screamed "No!" at the top of her lungs. Seriously. I replayed that clip about five or six times as I rolled on the floor with laughter. On last night's installment of The Amazing Race ("We've Really Burned Bridges, For Sure"), the teams made their way to

I'm never typically a fan of so-called "twists" in reality series, though they can shake things up from time to time. After all, The Amazing Race is a great example of a reality competition in which the rules of the game normally stay the same from season to season (except the dreaded Family Edition) and that's absolutely A-OK with me. That said, I absolutely loved the inclusion of the U-Turn in last night's episode of Amazing Race ("Let's Name Our Chicken Phil"), a new game-defining strategy that not only lands one team in serious jeopardy but will reveal which teams need to resort to trickery in order to get ahead. In this case, when thrown into play, the U-Turn forces a chosen team to go back and complete the other half of a Detour. In the game's series of Detours, Road Blocks, and Fast Forwards (and, yes, even Intersections), it's an interesting twist that doesn't detract from the rest of the game. I had no doubt that if any team wa

Last night's episode of The Amazing Race ("I've Become the Archie Bunker of the Home") has got to be one of the funniest installments of the long-running reality franchise to date... and quite possibly showcased one of the most depressingly dysfunctional relationships ever to appear on the series (well, there's always Jonathan and Victoria, but the less said about them the better). On that front, I'm talking specifically about father/daughter team Ronald and Christina, whose interactions had my jaw permanently clinging to the floor. I'll start by saying that Christina exhibits the patience of a saint; throughout last night's episode she managed to rein in her anger and emotions in a way that I know I wouldn't have been able to do under similar circumstances. Ronald for his part does not know how to speak to his daughter, interact with her, or encourage her. In fact, I truly think that Ronald believes that his constant nagging (along with mean-spir

Ah, how I've missed you, Amazing Race . You're like a breath of fresh air at a time when we needed you most. In a season filled with the looming threat of the writers strike, subpar reality entries (ahem, Phenomenon ), and disappointing new series (save a few, really, which tend to be discussed here frequently), The Amazing Race is just what the doctor ordered. On last night's season premiere of The Amazing Race ("Donkeys Have Souls Too"), we met the eleven teams competing for a million dollars in a race around the world. I try to not call out my favorites this early in the race as it's still a little too early to figure out just who you should be rooting for. Sod it, I'm going to do just that. It's clear which teams I am most intrigued by. Despite their garish appearance, I kind of do like Goth couple Kynt and Vyxsin, though I had always believed that Goth culture embraced black as a primary color of clothing, rather than, you know, hot pink. Still,

It's with a certain glee that I relish the return of The Amazing Race to the airwaves following the cancellation of the woefully dismal Viva Laughlin . It's been far too long since we've seen Phil Keoghan raise his eyebrow, describe for the umpteenth time what a Road Block is, or comment on what place some uber-competitive Americans with some unusually spelled names came in a race around the world. (Seriously, this time round there's a Goth vixen named Vyxsin.) CBS has unveiled the contestants that we'll follow around the globe from the comfort of our living rooms as they make pit stops in such far-flung locals as Ireland, Lithuania, and Croatia (typically while sniping at each other and making ethnocentric comments about the locals). So who's racing this time around? Let's find out. Ronald Hsu, 58, and Christina Hsu. Father/daughter from Tacoma, Washington. Kynt Cothron, 31, and Vyxsin Fiala, 29. Dating Goths from Louisville, Kentucky. Lorena Segura, 27, a

The fat lady has sung for musical drama Viva Laughlin . Series, which died on stage in its two airings to date, has sung its last pop-inspired aria and has been yanked off of CBS' schedule, effective immediately. Network will air a repeat of CSI in its Sunday at 8 pm timeslot before giving the time period over to returning reality series The Amazing Race , which launches on November 4th. "If there ever was a season that I consider one of the best, it's this one," said Amazing Race 's creator/director/executive producer Bertram van Munster in a statement. "It's insanely funny, fast-paced and dramatic all at once. Teams are in hot pursuit of one another at every location and its reality television at its nail-biting best." This season on The Amazing Race , teams will travel approximately 50,000 miles, including first time stops in Ireland, Lithuania and Croatia. Teehee! I cannot wait. For too long, The Amazing Race has been sadly absent from my alre

Excuse me while I wipe the vomit from my television. I cannot believe that Eric and Danielle are now a million dollars richer and that Dustin and Kandice didn't win this thing. Hell, I'd rather Charla and Mirna won this rather than Eric and Danielle. Grr. It just makes me so damn angry. Last night's season finale of The Amazing Race stirred up all sorts of emotions as I vacillated between hope that the Beauty Queens would win (making them the first female team to win TAR ) and depression at the thought that they'd come in a close second. (Why couldn't there have been another flag challenge to throw Eric?) Still, I was a little nervous when I saw the tension between Dustin and Kandice take their toll after the disastrous kayaking expedition off the shore of Shipwreck Beach in Hawaii. (Whose idea was it exactly to get out of the boat and *walk* with it?) The car ride afterwards was even more tense as Kandice attacked Dustin for her ego and poor teamwork. (Oh, come on

Oh, Team Cha Cha Cha, I will miss you. For the second time, Danny and Oswald have placed fourth overall in the Amazing Race , just as they did back in Season Two. I was really hoping Danny and Oz would make it to the final three, but instead we have two of my least favorite teams (Eric & Danielle and Charla & Mirna, if you're keeping score) racing for $1 million against the Beauty Queens. Dustin and Kandice, I've been rooting for you this whole time, so don't let me down! Last night's episode of The Amazing Race featured the Beauty Queens at their finest, as they managed to stay ahead of the other teams the entire time, even when the other teams managed to get on the same flight as Dustin and Kandice. Though I am still not entirely sure how Charla and Mirna showed up at the airport so quickly behind the Beauty Queens as they were on a ferry that departed an hour later. Color me confused. In any event, I was whooping and hollering as the girls continued their wi

Last night's episode of The Amazing Race was another one of those way too stressful installments, where I found myself perched on the edge of my couch hoping for the defeat of one of my two least favorite teams while hoping that, somehow, Danny and Oswald would make it to next week's leg. Whew. I feel somewhat conflicted that the producers staged yet another non-elimination round so soon after the last one (that would be, er, last week) but, as it managed to save Danny and Oswald's skin after they arrived at the pit stop in dead last (after encountering the world's worst taxi driver in Macau), I can't be all that angry. Me, I was hoping we'd finally seen the last of the shrilly irritating Danielle and Eric. Alas. The Yield. Nothing has been more contentious this season on TAR than the usage of those dreaded yellow Yields. The Beauty Queens rightly surmised last night that the Yields are in fact part of the race, a tool to be used as teams see fit. Would it fee

Why is it that Mirna consistently manages to get under my skin week after week? I wish I could channel some Zen-like calm and push her out of my thoughts but, no matter what I try, I can't get her shrill, irritating voice out of my mind. For those of you with an aversion to Mirna (like yours truly), this week's episode of The Amazing Race offered no respite from her particular brand of hypocrisy and oddness. I'm still not sure why Dustin and Kandice (a.k.a. the "Yield Queens," according to Mirna) deciding to use the Yield last week against competitors Eric and Danielle wasn't playing the game morally, but the manipulative Mirna trying to get them bumped off a flight (or get themselves bumped up the waitlist) wasn't low-handed. Or that Danny and Oswald had the temerity to use the Fast Forward rather than just "play the game." Why do the rules only apply to the people Mirna doesn't like? I've said it before and I'll say it again: the Y

Wow. I never thought that Eric was the epitome of refined wit, but it blew my mind watching last night's episode of The Amazing Race just how misogynistic and repulsive this guy truly is. Sure, I should have had an inkling of that fact from his advice to his bleached blonde girlfriend Danielle to "use your boobs" during a Roadblock, but last night definitely summed up his entire persona, idiotic t-shirts and all. I'd like to point out first of all that the Yield is part of the Race itself and has been for quite some time. It's as much a part of the game as the Detours and Roadblocks (and, yes, the dreaded Intersection); that said, I never understand why people get so angry at being Yielded. Frustrating? You bet, especially when there's a possibility that you could be in last place. I get it. But to become so irate that you refer to the people who yielded you (that would be Beauty Queens Dustin and Kandice) on national television as "dirty, dirty hookers