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Beauty Queens Not Crowned: Dustin and Kandice Do Not Win "The Amazing Race"

Excuse me while I wipe the vomit from my television.

I cannot believe that Eric and Danielle are now a million dollars richer and that Dustin and Kandice didn't win this thing. Hell, I'd rather Charla and Mirna won this rather than Eric and Danielle. Grr. It just makes me so damn angry.

Last night's season finale of The Amazing Race stirred up all sorts of emotions as I vacillated between hope that the Beauty Queens would win (making them the first female team to win TAR) and depression at the thought that they'd come in a close second. (Why couldn't there have been another flag challenge to throw Eric?)

Still, I was a little nervous when I saw the tension between Dustin and Kandice take their toll after the disastrous kayaking expedition off the shore of Shipwreck Beach in Hawaii. (Whose idea was it exactly to get out of the boat and *walk* with it?) The car ride afterwards was even more tense as Kandice attacked Dustin for her ego and poor teamwork. (Oh, come on, girls, don't fight.) But they quickly recovered and got their heads back in the game. I thought of all the teams, these two would have the best sense of how the other thought of their competitors, but I could not believe that Dustin changed her answer at the last second. Rob and Amber were definitely the least trustworthy team--though I love that Eric and Danielle seem to think that it's Danny and Oswald--and I wish that she would have gone with her first instinct.

Charla and Mirna, meanwhile, semi-toned it down this week and managed to snag a better flight from Tokyo to Hawaii, for all the good it did them. They proved themselves quite adept at finding better flight alternatives and with persuading, coercing, and kidnapping than the other teams. I do have an enormous amount of respect for what Charla has been able to accomplish, given her limitations (i.e., Mirna) and the fact that she's done simply amazing things both times that she's run this Race. All in all, I do think that the two of them played a better game than Eric and Danielle.

And then there's (gulp) All-Stars winners Eric and Danielle, who managed to escape elimination not once, but twice this season (why, oh, why couldn't they have gotten the cut earlier) and who didn't exactly run a very good race, what with them constantly being at each other's throats. Their success had more to do with luck at times (and their defeats via flying with bad luck) but when it counted, they seemed to stay in the game. I was hoping that their taxi driver would get lost or make a wrong turn or that they'd get stuck in traffic while the blondes sailed to victory, but in the end, that two-minute lead time they had coming out of the Mint gave them a huge advantage.

I'm still in shock that they won this thing and even more by Eric's completely disturbing call with a shorn Jeremy in Florida. Which was just all-out creepy, what with the promises of spankings, etc. These are the lowlifes that won an All-Star edition of Amazing Race?

To Eric and Danielle, don't ever forget that money doesn't equal good taste. To Charla and Mirna, keep on truckin' but lay off kidnapping people and using the phrase "it's a life or death situation." And, finally, to Dustin and Kandice, you should have won this game, but not if it was going to tear your friendship apart. I've been rooting for you from the start and hopefully this isn't the last we see of you.

And, I'm told The Amazing Race, while not officially renewed by CBS (not until the upfronts next week), is already in pre-production for next season, so TAR fans, fret not. The granddaddy of reality series will be back next season.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: How I Met Your Mother/The New Adventures of Old Christine (CBS); Deal or No Deal (NBC); Everybody Hates Chris/All of Us (CW); Dancing with the Stars (ABC; 8-9:30 pm); House (FOX)

9 pm: Two and a Half Men/The King of Queens (CBS); Heroes (NBC); Girlfriends (CW); The Bachelor (ABC; 9:30-11 pm); 24 (FOX)

10 pm: CSI: Miami (CBS); The Real Wedding Crashers (NBC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: Waking the Dead on BBC America.

It's the return of the stylish smart UK murder investigation series. On tonight's episode, Boyd and his team investigate the discovery of a mummified couple who were, er, sexually conjoined, found in a concealed office, which ignites a scandal.

8 pm: Everybody Hates Chris.

On tonight's episode ("Everybody Hates Math"), Rochelle tutors Chris in math when he is forced to master algebra as part of a math competition but he ends up turning for help from Maxine, Rochelle's ex-math teacher mom. Meanwhile, Tanya takes the fall for Drew when he accidentially breaks Julius' favorite chair.

8:30 pm: Old Christine.

On tonight's episode ("Frasier"), Christine learns that her reckless evening of passion with Richard may have irreversibly damaged her chances of getting together with Ritchie's teacher, Mr. Harris (Blair Underwood).

9 pm: 24.

It's Day Six of 24. While FOX doesn't give us much in the way of previews, here's what we do know: Noah Daniels and Tom Lennox are forced to face off against presidential aide Lisa Miller (Kari Matchett) while Jack tries to deal with the looming international crisis in the face of Audrey's condition. I'm still more interested in what Karen Hayes is up to.

10 pm: The Riches on FX.

Is anyone else watching new drama The Riches on FX? On tonight's episode ("Cinderella"), Wayne's position at Panco is dependent on the Molloys pulling off the perfect dinner party but that's put in jeopardy by the arrival of Dahlia's murderous friend from prison.

Comments

Vance said…
AHHH. WHY. WHY OH WHY???

I'm over with the All Stars. I swear this time. First Amber, then whoever won Big Brother, now this. UGH. Always the folks that shouldn't have even BEEN on All Stars since I could barely remember them from their original season.
Anonymous said…
I....

I....

I have nothing to say.
Argh! I've hated Eric and Danielle since the beginning. But, even so, I wouldn't have been so upset that they won had I thought they actually deserved it by playing a good game. Not the case at all.

Firstly, Danielle never should have been on All Stars. Her team did poorly when they ran the race the first time. And dating Eric should not automatically make you an All Star. In fact, it should require serious therapy.

Secondly, Eric and Danielle should have been eliminated TWICE. I know that non-elimination rounds are a part of the game but twice? Come on, people. Any team that comes in last two times in a row should not win a million bucks.

Thirdly, Danielle did a horrible job at most of the detours and roadblocks. Let us reflect on the squealing and crying over the fish task (followed by Eric's sage adivice to "use your boobs")...or the whining and crying over the task to find an "injured" soldier...etc. If the prize were for who can whine the most or show the most cleavage, then Danielle's your girl. Otherwise, she and her nipple-pierced teammate should have gotten the boot weeks ago.

I was definitely cheering for the Beauty Queens all the way and wish that things had turned out differently for them. It would have been fantastic to have a competent, cool, all girl team win the race this season. But at least between Dustin and Kandice and Charla and Mirna there were two all female teams in the final three, which is pretty cool. Oh, well. At least there's a next time...
Unknown said…
I don't watch TAR, but I'll respond to your question about The Riches. My wife and I watched the first two episodes and dropped it. It might've become entertaining, but it didn't grab our interest, especially since there aren't any inherently likable characters.
Jon88 said…
Eric, after the phone call to Jeremy: "Danielle knows what her role is."

Beard?
Unknown said…
I'm so disgusted I can barely type!! Totally agree about that gross phone call with Jeremy who looks like a Hooters escapee. And what's with that spanking remark? Ewwww. I bet that three months from now, Danielle will be at a battered women's shelter and Eric will have disappeared with all the money. Minus the amount it takes to throw a raging kegger.
Anonymous said…
Luck with a big L is what Eric and Danielle had and deserved!!

Get over it people. The beauty queens are nothing but two nice looking but evil conniving ladies.

They may've played the game well but accept the loss and move on.

I'm tired of hearing about them.
rockauteur said…
While I didn't mind that E&D won the race over Charla and Mirna, I was still sad that the Beauty Queens couldn't become the first all girl team to win The Amazing Race. I don't hate E&D as much as the rest of you; there is someting to be said that Eric did place second in his season of the race as well, though whether or not they were All-Star material in the first place is another conversation.

You know who should have won All-Stars? Rob & Amber who were unfairly eliminated early on, in what should have been a non-elim round. Argh. Romber better be back soon in some capacity, as the rumored Rob-hosted 7 continent spanning, 10 million dollar purse reality show is supposedly in the works.

And why Kandace changed her answer of "least trusted" team to Joe & Bill last minute makes no sense to me, and could have been a $1,000,000 mistake. Had she answered correctly, she could have gotten the jump on Danielle and Eric, and thus been to their cab first and possibly to the finish line.

Argh. I miss Rob and Amber
Anonymous said…
"Romber" were more likeable than the previous season they were on the Amazing Race. They toned it down -- both in terms of their tricks and stupid remarks.

Good on you!
Anonymous said…
The real winning "couple" here is Eric and Jeremy. Gee, what a surprise that Eric and Danielle "broke up" as soon as the race ended.

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