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Joe Don is Gone: A New Captain for the Crew on "Pirate Master"

Is anyone out there still watching Pirate Master?

I have to say that last night's episode of the, er, pirate-themed adventure show was a little better than the previous week's installment, if only because we got to see tyrannical captain Joe Don get booted from his position of authority and the power structure shift completely. (Of course, the crew is happy when you're making them equals, Azmyth!)

But I was hoping for more conflict when the deposed despot was forced to join the rest of the crew in hard labor and penury. Instead, the contestants seemed to really pay him no heed and the new captain, Azmyth, and his officers didn't even give him a black spot.

Additionally, I had hoped that this series would combine the scheming and treachery of Survivor with the sort of expeditions found on, say, The Amazing Race, but instead the "expeditions" are far too brief (I feel they should comprise the majority of the episode) and, well, rather lame. Find a skull in the water and break it open to find a key? Walk through a waterfall to find a treasure chest? Yawn. I want real adventure, head-scratching clues, and physically-exerting challenges. Plus, having the sabotage at the start of every expedition takes away any suspense and turns a game-changer into something predictable and expected.

Burning questions from last night's episode:

-What was up with Azmyth's truly awful faux British accent? I'm not sure if he was meant to be imitating Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean... or Madonna.

-Why was Joe Don not even in contention for a black spot? I would have thought that the Red Team would have loved to have cut their former leader adrift post haste, but instead they targeted Cheryl, the deputy district attorney.

-Will Cheryl ever stop mentioning the fact that she's a deputy district attorney? (Just wondering.)

-Who the hell is Laurel? Sure, Azmyth and the others felt as though she flew under the radar a bit but I don't even know for certain that we've seen her on camera until last night. For a vagabond who lived in a van for a year, she's certainly coming off rather vanilla on the series.

-What the hell was Alexis doing walking while the rest of her team was feverishly trying to paddle the boat? Let's just hope that producers pick up the castaways after they're cut adrift or the fashion publicist is likely still floating somewhere in the Caribbean...

Next week on Pirate Master ("Death by Coconuts"), flirting between shipmates could turn into full-blown romance, Jay must deal with the fact that Sean went against their deal, and the latest treasure brings a twist in the game: a Royal Pardon.


Anonymous said…
Your comments are right on. Last night I was talking to a friend and she said she was about to watch PM. I said, "Did you see last week's?" "Yes." "Then you've seen this week's." She laughed. I said, "Seriously - they go on expedition, one team wins, they count the money, the captain and crew hand out black marks, someone gets voted out."

There really is too much of a formula here. And yes - the expeditions are WAY too short. They should definitely be more complex and longer. I don't need to see people count money for an hour.

However - I was very happy JD was unseated. And I, for one, LOVED Azmyth's faux accent. It was cracking me up. He was obviously having fun w/his position in a way JD didn't. I love Az.

There were a couple people last night, besides Laurel, that had me saying, "Who the hell is that?" They definitely haven't done a good job introducing people.
Anonymous said…
I agree the expeditions are too short. Something like a two day one where the teams have to camp out over night would really help build the bonds between the players which seems to be lacking right now.

As for the sabotage, it would be nice if they have one where you are suppose to follow a marked math with multiple forks in the path and dead ends. Somewhere along the path is a sign that teams are told to flip, sending the other time on the wrong path, paths without a dead end but a longer, harder path to the goal.

If the teams were also traveling on seperate paths to the sabotage point they would not know if they other team had beaten to it yet. It would make it really interesting since it would keep both teams guessing.

The other thing that had me almost screaming at the tv yesterday was how they stressed early on they are pirates and there really are no rules so why has someone not said I want to switch teams for the expidition, say leaving just John Doe and his officers vs everyone else.

The final thing is that I find I really do not care about anyone yet, something I have noticed with the last few versions of Survivor as well, to the point where I do not even really know most people's names.

With PM being moved to Tuesday and its somewhat disappointing ratings I think this will be a on time only outting for this show, thankfully it looks like we will at least get to see it out to its ending.

This would keep teams guessing on if they are
I would also like to see more seriously challenging and creative expeditions. I thought that was going to be the main point of the show. But instead the expeditions are over in the blink of an eye and all seem strangely similar to one another.

Last night's episode was a little better but I'm still not enganged by the show or the contestants. Too much talking and not enough action. It will be interesting to see how long Azmyth lasts in the captain's chair.

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