FOX Shifts Into Gear with Tim Minear's "Drive"

Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines.

FOX has ordered 12 episodes of midseason drama Drive, on top of the pilot, which was shot over the summer outside of the normal production calendar. The 13 episodes are scheduled to launch this spring, possibly using American Idol as a lead-in. (Not such good news for the space-themed drama Beyond, however, which was also in contention for a spring slot and will not be moving forward.)

From the minds of Tim Minear (Angel) and Ben Queen (Century City), Drive revolves around an ensemble cast as the participate in an illegal cross-country race, a la The Amazing Race. Only there's no Phil Keoghan waiting at the pit stop and there's a twist that hasn't yet been revealed (I had a sneak peek at the script a few months back but my lips are sealed). Plus, this is one race in which all of the participants need to win, but there will only be one victor crowned at the end.

According to Minear, the hour-long drama will be a blend of Cannonball Run and The Game. (Um, the film with Michael Douglas, not the CW sitcom.) "I described it to Joss [Whedon] as Magnolia on wheels," Minear told Variety. "It's really about the people in those cars."

Those people will include Alan Ruck, Kristin Lehman, Melanie Lynskey, Shahine Ezell, Andres Saenz-Hudson, Emily Stone, and Ivan Sergei (who was himself recently cast in USA's pilot for To Live and Die in LA, opposite Shiri Appleby and Tim Matheson), among others. Uniquely, the series features a device by which the extended cast can expand or contract, according to the writer/producers' needs. In the meantime, FOX is expected to change some elements of Drive's pilot, which could include recasting some of the above actors, so don't be surprised if all of the above don't make it into the finished cut.

Additionally, the series will go on to explore the minds behind the race, or the "puppetmasters," as Minear calls them. Now that doesn't sound at all ominous, does it?

I don't know about you but I can't wait for Drive to rev its engines and tear up some pavement.

My First Take on "5 Takes: USA"

I will admit that I was a little concerned when Travel Channel announced that this season of its wildly addictive 5 Takes franchise would follow five travel journalists around the United States. After all, what intrigued me so much was the fact that these five strangers were traveling to destinations on the other side of the globe, whether it be New Zealand or Thailand and coming into contact with cultures and people that they might not encounter on a daily basis in their regular lives.

But after watching this season's premiere episode, I realized why the show works so well. It's not so much that the destinations were exotic or far-flung (after all, to a Thai audience, Thailand is their everyday experience), it's that joy of experiencing the new and the different that connects the audience so sharply to the series. While I live in the US, the destinations that these five new travel journalists (more on them in a bit) might be familiar to me, but what provides the spark each week is seeing those very cities through the eyes of individuals to whom they are new and exotic. And that is the joy of watching 5 Takes, regardless of the locales they visit: to see their reactions and expressions to the typical and quotidian and the extraordinary and profound.

Like previous seasons, 5 Takes features five diverse travel journalists, this time hailing from the Pacific Rim: 21-year-old Taiwanese Bevis Song, 28-year-old Singaporean Jaime Tan, 26-year-old Indonesian Lena Toepan, 25-year-old Aussie Tim Bloxsome, and 33-year-old Filipino Zach Yonzon (the latter two celebrated birthdays in Las Vegas in the first episode). And like previous excursions, the travel journalists (or TJs, a term that makes my nose wrinkle) are only given $50 a day to experience each city, a feat made a little more difficult as $50 US tends to go a lot further abroad than it does here in the States. Their activities and destinations will be determined by the audience, by logging onto their message boards and suggesting places for them to go and things for them to see. (Likewise, the at-home element of the series isn't limited just to the message board either, as the travelers will produce blogs, vlogs, and photos for the Travel Channel site as well.)

What is different is that, yes, the travel journalists aren't American as in previous seasons, lending the entire affair a fresh perspective (loved their take on Vegas-style buffets this week), especially given the fact that they'll be traveling around the United States. But I like the fact that this season they are not being pigeonholed into vague categories. 5 Takes: Pacific Rim featured "the adrenaline junkie," "the culture vulture," "the food and music guy," and "the alternative traveler," etc. I understand where the producers were coming from, but you could sometimes feel the travel journos chafe a little at their designated "labels," and some of the activities they participated in felt a little too designed, in retrospect, to those pre-determined roles.

So who's along for the ride this time? While I definitely miss Gabe, Renee, Tiffany, Josh, and Tony, I have to say that I'm already attached to this new group too, especially Zach, Bevis, and Jaime. I love comic book artist Zach's comics-skewed perspective on the States and his feeling that Superman represents the American ideal of "truth, liberty, and the American way," and that his intent on coming on this whirlwind trip is to learn exactly what that American way is. (Kudos to Bevis too for wearing Supes underwear.) Jaime is thoughtful and constantly observing the world around her from a bit of a detached vantage point yet you can literally see the cogs turning behind her eyes as she takes it all in. Bevis is already a favorite; he's just such an expressive, curious, well, ham willing to do anything -- from dressing up like Elvis (complete with five pounds worth of mousse in his hair) to getting up on stage at a burlesque club (he's the first guy in about 50 years to actually do so). I wish he had been able to fulfill his dream of seeing a white tiger in Vegas, but something tells me that those aren't exactly roaming around Sin City these days. Lena is so expressive and I love to watch her reactions to everything; she was so surprised by the Vegas-style drive-through wedding as nothing like that would be remotely possible in Indonesia or Jakarta and she got actually got a little caught up in the emotion of the event.

And then there's Tim, who's been lurking around here in fact and was surprised that one commenter wasn't all that impressed with the journo's blogs and vlogs so far. Tim is a gregarious, outgoing guy and a fashion model (couldn't you tell from the sheer amounts of grooming products he packed?) and extremely confident. I really want to like the guy, but the fact that he, in a moment of controversy rarely seen on 5 Takes, showed up late for their call time after disappearing all night in Vegas definitely rubbed me the wrong way, particularly as he then blamed the other travelers for not paying for his room (if that night's bill isn't paid at the hostel by 2 pm, the manager removes the traveler's belongings from the room). Should the others have chipped in and paid for Tim's room? Probably, as it wasn't exactly a fortune and would have saved some headaches later. But Tim shouldn't have been so angry at them for not having done so. After all, he was the one who disappeared for half a day and was late getting back (and looked the worse for the wear). I'm hoping he'll tone it down a few pegs, as when he's genuinely connected (as he seemed in the kitchen of Picasso restaurant) he lights up from within. So I am hoping this is the last diva-like antics we see from the Aussie model.

All in all, I'm already hooked on this latest installment of 5 Takes and cannot wait to see what these five travelers get up to next. After Vegas, their next stop is chilly Anchorage, Alaska, where many of the travel journos get to see snow for the very first time. It's moments like that that make the show so remarkable and beautiful and remind me of why I fell in love with this series in the first place.

"5 Takes: USA" airs Saturday nights at 10 pm ET/PT on Travel Channel.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: NCIS (CBS); Friday Night Lights (NBC); Gilmore Girls (CW); Dancing with the Stars (ABC; 8-9:30 pm); Standoff (FOX); Desire (MyNet)

9 pm: The Unit (CBS); Law & Order: Criminal Intent (NBC); Veronica Mars (CW); Help Me Help You (ABC; 9:30-10 pm); House (FOX); Fashion House (MyNet)

10 pm: CSI: New York (CBS); Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (NBC); Boston Legal (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: Gilmore Girls.

On tonight's repeat episode ("The Long Morrow"), catch the season premiere episode written by David S. Rosenthal and become amazed at how much you miss the old Gilmore Girls before it got all, you know, dull and tired. Lorelai deals with the repercussions of sleeping with Christopher but is asked to elope by Luke; meanwhile, Logan gives Rory a plane ticket to London.

9 pm: Veronica Mars.

On tonight's episode ("President Evil"), the underground campus casino is robbed, Veronica searches for Logan (hmmm, coincidence?), and Dean O'Dell hires Papa Keith to track down the biological father of his wife's son.

10 pm: The Street on BBC America.

On the fifth episode ("Bold Street: Asylum") of Jimmy McGovern's new drama The Street, a cab driver opens his home to an African asylum seeker, despite his wife's protests. If you were looking for light-hearted mirth, look elsewhere.

The Six-Pack is Half-Empty on "The Amazing Race"

I never understand why teams feel the need to construct elaborate (and ultimately pointless) alliances on reality series that don't require (or reward) them. Amazing Race, after all, is not Survivor and teams should act accordingly. I had doubted Phil when he mentioned the prominence of alliances this season, but I should have never doubted the Big Kahuna. The six-pack (a.k.a. the back pack), consisting of the Cho Bros, Karlyn and Lyn, and David and Mary, have formed quite possibly the most frustratingly irritating alliance this side of Rob and Amber.

I get why at first it made sense for these three teams, used to lagging in the back of the group, to stick together and help one another out. Especially when faced with teams as annoying as Rob and Kimberly and the Beauty Queens (and, this week, the Models). But to keep it going for as long as they have shows either fortitude or outright stupidity. At this point in time, there is such an obvious divide between the only six teams left in the Race and three of those teams are engaged in an alliance that seems time and time again not to propel them to the front of the heat, but instead to land them square back at the end of the line.

In this week's episode set in Mauritius (look it up, kids, if you don't know where it is!), that didn't change a bit as the Great Alliance more or less remained in full force, with the Chos waiting for Lyn and Karlyn and David and Mary at every single opportunity. Nevermind the fact that Alabama took off from the airport like a bat out of hell and didn't even look back. But Mary insisted that they would wait for the girls and then have a foot race to the mat. I hate to be mean to good people, but seriously now it's not The Amazing Friendship, but the Amazing RACE. You don't wait for your competition in a race, you move forward until you win or you're eliminated. Or until Phil crooks his eyebrow and tells you that it's a non-elimination round and you're safe until another day.

Which is just what happened this week, when David and Mary miraculously arrived last again only to discover that they're still somehow in this race. Seeing as it's the second time in two weeks that this has transpired makes me raise my eyebrow a little, but I can't help but be impressed that Kentucky has managed to squeak by yet again. It's astounding, to say the least, and I'm really surprised that producers would schedule two non-elims so closely together, separated only by a Fast Forward which propelled that team to first place. But there's no other team I'd rather get spared Phil-imination at this point, so count yourselves lucky, David and Mary. You race for another day.

This week's episode brought us some genuinely funny and frustrating moments from an assortment of teams, besides the ubiquitous "wait around for other teams" moments that filled the episode. I'm thinking of the moment when a frustrated Rob and Kimberly got into a fight when their car wouldn't shift into gear, causing a HUGE backup of cars behind them and snarling traffic for miles, I'm sure. Instead of dealing with the situation, Rob shouts at Kimberly and then jumps out of the car and storms off. Lovely. I'm still chuckling over the sight of hotheaded Rob tripping over his own feet and falling to the ground, dropping the clue envelope, as his partner, the equally headstrong Kimberly doesn't bother to pause or look back, instead uttering, "What are you doing?" It was a priceless moment that echoed Kendra's infamous line from a few seasons back ("Why did you have to do that?") when her partner puked into the bowl of spicy soup he was meant to be eating. Ah, young love.

I also couldn't help it but roll on the floor laughing when the Beauty Queens smashed their car. Is it just me or are these two almost impossible to like? I'm thinking this week of their transformation into Ugly Americans at the airport in Kuwait when they loudly accused the airline staff of being not-too-bright by suggesting that they transfer in London for a flight to Mauritius and demanded the same information from multiple counter agents as though they were morons of the highest level. This after the Beauty Queens didn't seem to know what country London was in ("What country is that in? India?"). Yet somehow they still managed to check in first and were rewarded a pair of scooters for their efforts, only to turn around and ask a flustered Phil out on a date. Seeing how they managed to drive (and crash) in a car, I am afraid to even imagine them driving after on scooters. Terrifying.

I've said it time and time again, but I'll say it here once more. Beware the detour task that has you searching for a tiny object in a series of large piles. It never ends well and it's always frustrating. Yet year after year, week after week, teams insist on trying that very activity, thinking perhaps that this time it won't be so bad. It took quite some time for teams to give up on searching through huge mounts of salt for a salt shaker containing their next clue... especially since there were decoy shakers containing... pepper. (Nice one, producers.) Cho Brothers, you guys DON'T have to do the same detour as the other members of your alliance. I was rooting for you guys for a while, but now you're just annoying the hell out of me. Give it up already.

Loved the little "trap" set up in front of the sails on the other detour task, which made for some entertaining viewing. I was really convinced that the Models were going to go home this week after their disastrous performance, between getting lost several times and wandering around that island in search of the sails. Yet somehow they managed to pull themselves up to second place. I guess anything can happen in the race and it's still anybody's game, but at this point I think anybody equals only the first three teams.

Next week on The Amazing Race: it's another plot twist as teams encounter the very first Intersection on the Race. What it is it? The CBS promo department isn't revealing much, but it seems to involve working with another team to complete a task. And one team is going to get stuck working with the Beauty Queens. Please let it be Lyn and Karlyn. I'd pay to see that.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: How I Met Your Mother/The Class (CBS); Deal or No Deal (NBC); Everybody Hates Chris/All of Us (CW); Wife Swap (ABC); Prison Break (FOX); Desire (MyNet)

9 pm: Two and a Half Men/The New Adventures of Old Christine (CBS); Heroes (NBC); Girlfriends/The Game (WB); The Bachelor: Rome (ABC); Justice (FOX); Fashion House (MyNet)

10 pm: CSI: Miami (CBS); Friday Night Lights (NBC); What About Brian (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8:00 pm: Everybody Hates Chris.

Now on its new night (Mondays) and at a new time (8 pm), it's the second season of former UPN comedy Everybody Hates Chris. On tonight's episode ("Everybody Hates a Malvo"), Chris gets the opportunity to prove himself when Doc has him watch over the cash register at the corner store, but things turn sour when he's robbed by a notorious repeat offender.

9:30 pm: Old Christine.

I can't tell you why I like watching this traditional sitcom, but Julia Louis-Dreyfus is like a warm blanket of coziness after a long Monday. On tonight's repeat episode ("No Fault Divorce"), Christine's former marriage counselor shows up at the gym, causing some awkwardness for Christine. But then again, what doesn't cause awkwardness for Christine?

10 pm: Weeds on Showtime.

It's the season finale of Showtime's suburban-set pot dramedy. On tonight's episode ("Pittsburgh"), Silas disappears, Shane makes a rather inflammatory speech at graduation, and Nancy and Conrad's weed deal goes to pot. So, just another day in Agrestic, no?

"Bruno" Sashays to Universal to the Tune of $42.5 Million

Universal has reportedly pay $42.5 million to win the heated bidding war for worldwide rights to Bruno, Sacha Baron Cohen's follow-up to Borat, which opens Friday.

According to reports, Universal's price (which could have bought the entirety of Staines, Ali G's hometown) managed to edge out competition from other interested studios including Dreamworks, Sony, Warner Bros., and 20th Century Fox, and will cover the film's estimated budget, said to be in the range of $20-25 million.

For those of you not familiar with Bruno, he's another character played by the uber-talented Sacha Baron Cohen (Da Ali G Show): a flamboyant Austrian fashionista/reporter who jet sets between the runway shows of New York (watch out, Tim Gunn), the nightclubs of Miami (that goes for you too, Uli) and, um, the American Deep South, usually annoying the hell out of anyone he meets and managing to nearly get himself killed. The film, like its predecessor Borat, will showcase the Bruno character, who was introduced on HBO and Channel 4's Da Ali G Show.

It's extremely disconcerting that Universal would pony out this kind of dosh, given that Cohen's Borat doesn't even open theatrically until this week. (Sidebar: I attended a screening of Borat last week and have to say that for the first 3/4 of the film, my face hurt from laughing so much, but in the end it does go way too far overboard and ends up collapsing on itself with a painfully extended sequence. You'll know which one I mean when you see it.)

I worry for the fate such an expensive endeavor, especially when Bruno is a feature adaptation of an even more culty TV series character than Borat that is light-years away from attaining the kind of awareness that the Kazahk reporter had. Especially since 20th Century Fox, which is distributing Borat, scaled back that very theatrical release to a mere 800 screens, due to concerns that "the movie wasn't registering high enough in awareness tracking," according to the Hollywood Reporter.

Ouch. Or, as Bruno himself might say, "Ich don't think so."

Has Universal made a shrewd investment in a future mega-hit... or overpaid for what will be a whimper instead of a bang? Only time will tell. In the mean time, Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan hits theatres nationwide this Friday.

The Lychee Thief: Otto Cuts Himself from the Competition on "Top Chef"

I finally got around to watching this week's episode of Bravo's addictive (and calorie-free!) Top Chef last night (I was out at a screening of Borat on Wednesday night) and it was quite the episode, in terms of controversy. Between backstabbing, thieving, and bawdy drunkenness (courtesy of Ilan's homemade sangria), this week's episode ("Eastern Promise") had it all... without even so much as a whiff of Tiffani! So what actually went down? Sit back and prepare to tuck in.

New host Padma Lakshmi is still driving me crazy, but in a different way than Katie Lee Joel did. While Katie Lee's delivery was flat and robotic and seemed completely vacant of non-artificial intelligent, Padma speaks in this long, drawn-out drawl and seems completely awkward in front of the camera, not bringing anything to the chef's table (in fact, she seemed to shut down conversation several times) and drawing out the proceedings interminably. Half the time, I want to fast forward through her introductions as I get six kinds of irritated sitting there while her sentences are stretched out like gooey, sticky strands of melted mozzarella. (If you couldn't already tell, yes, I like food analogies.)

The Quickfire Challenge this week was an exceptionally complicated one that really separated the strong chefs from the weak ones. The competitors were woken up at the tender hour of 4:30 by head judge Tom Colicchio. Poor Tom had to be the one to do it; I guess that there was no way Padma was getting up that early to rouse these slumberers. They were given a few minutes to shower and down some coffee before heading out to a fish market, where they learned their challenge would be to prepare a sushi dish using the fresh fish at the market and any of the ingredients in the pantry. Mia, who claimed to be getting sick, was outright greenishly ill at the mere mention of the word "sushi" and she struggled to make it through the market.

Judging the sushi competition was Hiroshi Shima of Katana and he seemed impressed with some of what he tasted... particularly Cliff's winning mango, ginger, and jalapeno-spiked raw oysters, which were beautifully elegant and extraordinarily different. Kudos too to Otto for a great rolling technique. Mia, unfortunately, turned in an amateurish roll that didn't even resemble anything approaching sushi and Shima was very displeased with her work. I would have liked to have see what everyone turned in for the challenge, but strangely, the dishes of nearly half of the competitors were cut out of the aired episode. Strange.

For the elimination challenge, the chefs were assigned to two teams tackling Vietnamese and Korean cuisines for a charity food event with 1000 attendees. The Vietnamese team--consisting of Betty, Josie, Carlos, Mike, Emily, Mia, and Sam--were incredibly focused and organized right off the bat and worked effectively as a team, utilizing Betty's skills as a caterer and Josie's experiences working for a Vietnamese chef (who apparently never taught her the correct pronunciation of pho) to produce a menu of three items, as opposed to the two that was required. Meanwhile, the Korean team--that would be Marisa, Ilan, Frank, Marcel, Cliff, Elia, and Otto--couldn't have been more disorganized. Instead of sitting down and pounding out a menu (just two items, people!), they decided to make some homemade sangria and get hammered (what is this, Real World?). I was really surprised by their decision to go so far off task and pretend that they weren't in a competition but just goofing off at home with their buds. Totally not the right time for this, people. The entire team was a complete mess with no leadership and no signs of cohesion whatsoever. I felt really bad for Elia, who kept trying to rein in her team, but to no avail.

At the market, Team Vietnam breezed through the aisles, thanks to an in-depth and highly specific shopping list while Team Korea fumbled like rank amateurs at their specialty market as though they hadn't thought anything through at all. And then it happened: Otto put a case of lychees underneath their cart and the team, which was already over-budget, neglected to pay for them, a fact that Otto only revealed once they had packed up their van. The move bothered me for several reasons. First, I saw from my vantage point at home that the lychees were still under the cart and wondered whether they had paid for them but no one seemed to notice the lychees were even there. Second, Otto only mentioned the inadvertent (or was it?) theft of the lychees until the van was packed, not when he saw them being loaded into said van. Third, Otto mentioned this fact to Marisa and neither of them thought to return the item to the market, despite the fact that they were at that point still standing outside it. Fourth, the team had already been over-budget and had had to put an item back, so the lychees would clearly have catapulted them over their limit. It broke every rule of Top Chef and gave Team Korea an unfair advantage over the other team.

Returning to the kitchen, Marisa confronted Vegas culinary school teacher Otto, who tried to cover his butt by saying that it was an "honest" mistake. When Marisa flat out told him that they could not use the lychees, Otto grudgingly put them aside. Later, Marisa told Tom Colicchio about the incident and sharply questioned the chefs, before determining that Otto would have to return the lychees to the store. Stealing the lychees, whether intentionally or inadvertently, was single-handedly one of the worst decisions I've ever seen on the series and Otto had multiple opportunities to fix the situation but didn't until he was forced to. That said, I simply cannot stand Marisa or her holier-than-thou attitude. But more on that in a sec.

For the challenge, Team Vietnam's menu consisted of a cold pickled watermelon ring summer roll, pork pho with carrot vermicelli and herbed peanut candy, and Betty's aloe cucumber refresher. Vietnam had problems slicing their summer rolls but Josie took charge to present a beautiful and colorful cold dish that had lots of flavor and bite and was a new twist on a classic Vietnamese dish; their pork pho (guest judge Ming Tsai took umbrage at Josie's mangling of the word) was good but the pork was a little tough. The star, however, was Betty and her amazing aloe cucumber refresher, which she made from start to finish. Can I just say how much I love Betty? Her presentation was flawless: pouring the refresher from a beautiful silver tea pot, she greeted guests with a beaming smile and excellent customer service skills, luring in diners and making everyone feel welcome. (Rightly so, she was the winner of the challenge and was awarded a limited edition Kyocera knife--one of 100 in the world--by Ming Tsai.)

On the other side, Team Korea prepared a braised Korean pork with homemade kimchi and rice, and a jasmine tea custard with pink tapioca and lychee gelee with orange and candied taro chips. Their pork--prepared, I believe by Ilan--was beautifully succulent and juicily flavorful, but they failed on all other fronts. The rice was woefully overcooked, resulting in a ghastly, sticky mess that should never, ever have been served. And the dessert--prepared by pastry chef Marisa, had so much gelatin that it became as hard and rigid as a hockey puck and completely inedible. Ming Tsai was horrified by the dessert, as were Tom and Gail. No excuse for that, at all. And the dessert itself, while incorporating some indigenous flavors and ingredients, did not feel at all Korean to me. I do have to give them credit for attempting to make kimchi--fermented cabbage that takes weeks to make normally--in one day; the fact that they managed to pull that off definitely impressed me but there were so many things wrong with this team that it was quickly overshadowed.

Um, Padma's black and blue 1980s prom dress? Please, someone, explain.

Naturally, Team Vietnam won the challenge and I loved that their celebratory whooping and hollering were heard by Team Korea in the next room, as they quickly came to the realization that maybe they didn't win this challenge, after all. What was with Ilan's freak-out at the judge's table? He became crazily aggressive in defense of their pork and said that, as he had tasted both team's dishes and was convinced that their pork was superior. And then he clammed up the entire rest of the time. Odd. Was he still hungover from the copious amounts of sangria he consumed?

Of course, the lychee theft came into question and it was clear that either Otto or Marisa was going home. While Otto's thieving ways didn't directly cause the team to lose, it was Marisa's awful dessert that did and I feel that she REALLY should have been the one to pack her knives this week. I cannot stand her smug, self-righteous mugging in the face of the lychee incident and seeing her pull those awful faces instantly made me turn on her. While I agree that Otto committed a major infraction, he did own up to it and accepted responsibility (which is what the judges wanted), while Marisa was the single major reason why they lost, as even the judges admitted. So no need to be so uppity, M. I'd pipe down if I were you. But Otto not only accepted culpability for the lychees, he eliminated himself from the competition altogether, giving Marisa an undeserved reprieve.

Next week on Top Chef: tensions boil over as Betty faces off with the loathed Marcel and Michael wants a slap-down with Tom. Plus, I scream, you scream, the contestants work with ice cream.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: Ghost Whisperer (CBS); 1 vs. 100 (NBC); WWE Friday Night SmackDown (CW; 8-10 pm); It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (ABC); Vanished (FOX; 8-10 pm); Desire (MyNet)

9 pm: Close to Home (CBS); Las Vegas (NBC); Men in Trees (ABC); Trading Spouses: Meet Your New Mommy (FOX); Fashion House (MyNet)

10 pm: NUMB3RS (CBS); Law & Order (NBC); 20/20 (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: Doctor Who on Sci Fi.

It's the second season of Doctor Who, with the latest incarnation of the Doctor played by the talented David Tennant. On tonight's episode ("Rise of the Cybermen"), Rose discovers that her father is alive on a parallel version of Earth. Hmmm, call me crazy but something tells me that this will end badly.

8 pm: Saxondale on BBC America.

It's the third episode of Steve Coogan's newest comedy, Saxondale, reviewed here. It's quirky, it's bizarre, and it's got Steve Coogan as a former rock roadie turned animal pest control operative. So do us all a favor and tune in.

9 pm: Battlestar Galactica on Sci Fi.

On tonight's episode ("Collaborators"), a secret cabal convenes aboard Galactica to judge and execute humans who collaborated with the Cylons during the occupation of New Caprica. Which would be bad enough, but it's worse as Roslin and Adama seem to be in the dark about the entire affair. I smell Tigh's hand in this...

ABC Somewhat Confident in "Help," "Nine," and "Trees" While Cutting Trip Short for "Traveler"

Several series got some spirit-lifting today as NBC and ABC made some announcements regarding script orders, while one midseason entry has been dramatically cut back.

ABC ordered additional four scripts of Ted Danson therapy comedy Help Me Help You, Anne Heche-led romantic drama Men in Trees, and struggling bank hostage drama The Nine. While it has not committed to ordering any more additional episodes, it at least means that the network is curious enough to see where the storylines are going before investing more money into producing fresh installments.

It's a positive sign for the three series but I'd be curious to see how Help Me would do without Dancing with the Stars as a lead-in. As for the The Nine, with its dwindling retention out of Lost (and Lost disappearing off the schedule in less than two weeks now), I don't see how ABC will commit to ordering a full season of the drama, unless Lost's temporary replacement, Day Break, becomes a sleeper hit. That series was capped at 13 episodes in order to, according to the network, ensure that its first season story arc would be resolved, in case the serialized drama didn't return next season. (The same can't be said for fellow serials Kidnapped and Vanished, which had to dramatically restructure their seasons after learning that their respective networks would not be ordering additional episodes.)

Not such good news for midseason drama Traveler, which ABC has cut back to only eight episodes (13 installments were originally ordered), due to a lack of scheduling space for an entire 13-episode run. Due to that serialized factor (once a buzz word, now seemingly a flaw in Hollywood), producers will have an advance opportunity to tie up any loose ends, just in case Traveler doesn't make it through its planned run.

Over at NBC, Aaron Sorkin's beleaguered Studio 60 got a brief of a reprieve, despite comments from Kevin Reilly yesterday that he would be taking a long, hard look at the series. NBC has ordered three additional scripts before it will make a decision about the behind-the-scenes drama's ultimate fate.

And stalwart ER, which was originally also supposed to take a hiatus like Lost to make room for Paul Haggis' midseason drama The Black Donnellys, has actually increased its episode count for this season as NBC has bumped it up to 25 installments.

Bunny #8: The Others Test Our Castaways on "Lost"

There's a certain satisfaction one gets in being right. I hate to gloat (really I do), but seeing as I got so many emails from people saying that I was wrong, that the Others couldn't possibly be on another, separate island, I feel the need to do the written equivalent of the Snoopy dance. So, here goes: I was right!

More on that unabashed egocentricity in a bit. But before that, last night's episode of Lost ("Every Man for Himself") peeled back the layers of the onion a little more, giving a few glimpses into the belly of the beast and revealing some more intel about the Others. Since the hatch went kablooey in the season finale, it seems as though the Others have been having some problems of their own: after the firmament turned, well, purple, they went blind and now their communications are all down. Which means that they are now just as stranded and cut off from the rest of the world as the castaways. And something tells me that there might not be any more supply drops in the near future.

As suspected, the reason Jack has to scrub up is to attempt to save the life of the wounded Colleen (Deadwood's Paula Malcolmson), shot by Sun in "The Glass Ballerina." It was great seeing Jack in a hospital setting and, while I was struck initially by the way that Jack and Juliet scrubbed up in the same exact manner, I was pleasantly surprised to learn that she wasn't surgeon after all, but a fertility doctor. Seeing as training for that profession doesn't exactly grow on trees (or allow you to take correspondent classes from creepy, haunted islands in the middle of nowhere), Juliet is not island-born like Ben, but perhaps a refugee from the mainland/real world. And a fertility doctor? Tres interesant. Is that the reason why they had such an interest in Claire and her unborn baby? (Like Ben, Aaron is island-born.) And perhaps Juliet is the explanation as to how Sun and the infertile Jin have managed to conceive a child? (I still am under the belief that the baby is Jin's and not Jae's.) Jack and Juliet try to save Colleen, but she's too far gone for Jack to do anything and, when her heart stops, Jack is stunned to discover that the Others' crash cart is broken. According to Juliet, things like this don't happen to them. I was actually glad that Jack wasn't able to miraculously save her life and revive her, leading the Others to gain his trust. No, instead, they handcuff Jack to the gurney containing Colleen's corpse.

I'm loving Juliet. She's such an incredibly nuanced character. Despite the fact that Jack had a broken plate to her throat a few episodes back, she's so calm and collected around him and seems to genuinely care about him. (Sure, there was that fist to Jack's face in the same ep, but can you blame her?) When Jack tells her that, even if she had summoned him earlier, he couldn't have saved Colleen, Juliet asks if he's just saying that to make her feel better. Jack can only laugh. Um, isn't he her prisoner? Why on earth would he care about making HER feel better? Loving too that Jack is being a little more crafty and manipulative than we've seen before, pitting Juliet and Ben against one another. Juliet claims that the Others make decisions as a group; they don't have a leader. But Gentle Ben seems to be bossing everyone around, a fact that doesn't go unnoticed by Juliet, now that Jack has opened her eyes...

Speaking of Ben, it seems that the Other-Formerly-Known-as-Henry Gale has a large tumor on his spine. And who on the island is a top flight spinal surgeon with a track record for producing miracles? Why, if it isn't the Good Doctor, Jack Shepherd. Hmmm. Now that wouldn't be a reason for selecting Jack from the group and treating him to four walls and cartoons, now would it? I noticed the x-rays as Jack entered the surgical suite and was a bit thrown off by them--it's not as if they would have x-rayed the dying Colleen--but thought it was just the setting that felt off. I'm glad that Ben has an Achilles heel, but if there's anyone who can heal him, it's Jack...

While Jack gets a small taste of the real world (or as close as one can get on this island), Sawyer is quickly tortured by Ben and the Others. After attacking Ben during an escape attempt gone sour (they're watching them so the Others know to turn off the power to the cages), Sawyer is taken by Ben and made to think that they've implanted a pacemaker inside his chest, primed to explode should his heart rate reach a certain point. To demonstrate its effectiveness, Ben uses a cute little bunny with a large 8 on its back and shakes the poor thing until its heart stops. Poor wee bunny! (Don't worry on his account, though.)

The Lost Flashback of the Week belongs to Sawyer, as we learn that he was incarcerated after he conned Cassidy (Kim Dickens) in "The Long Con." He ponies up to a plot device from Prison Break played by Felicity's Ian Gomez (how great was it to see Javier back in a J.J. Abrams show?) in order to discover the whereabouts of $10 million which he uses as leverage to commute the last six years of his sentence. Once again, Sawyer has managed to con his way out of punishment. But that commission he gets for stabbing Mr. Plot Device in the back? He arranges to have it placed in a bank account in Albuquerque for his newly discovered daughter, Clementine. Wait, Sawyer has a daughter? I was v. surprised by Cassidy's reveal of Sawyer's offspring but not by his reaction. The last thing Sawyer has ever needed or wanted has been to, well, be needed or wanted. But, still, the thought that yet another castaway has a child (they seem to be slowly multiplying) is an interesting twist...

Was anyone else really upset by the scene in which Colleen's husband Danny smacked up Sawyer and forced Kate to say that she loved him? And then was even more upset when Kate admitted that she only said it to get Danny to stop before he killed Sawyer? Oh, Freckles, you just don't get it, do you? Also loved the invocation of "Live Together, Die Alone," which was of course the title of the Season Two finale. Kate could have escaped but she stays behind for Sawyer. Maybe she does have feelings for him, after all.

The Lost Literary Allusion of the Week belongs to John Steinbeck's classic Of Mice and Men, which is itself an allusion to that Robert Burns line of verse, "The best laid plans of mice and men gang aft agley." (Or in English, "often go awry.") Both Sawyer (shown reading the novel in, fittingly enough, prison) and Ben refer to the novel at various points, with Ben quoting a passage at length; it's Sawyer who fails to recognize it. But it's especially fitting this week that the novel is alluded to, given Colleen's death. In the book, Lennie unwittingly commits homicide and, while Sun did shoot Colleen, it certainly wasn't in cold blood.

What's up with Desmond's new "gift"? I'm still not totally convinced that he has foresight or if time was folded back on itself and he already experienced the future. He's savvy enough to build a lightning rod after Charlie (the territorial fool!) won't allow him to fix the roof of Claire's shelter and minutes later the skies open up and, wouldn't you know it, that homemade lightning rod gets zapped. Curious.

That bunny that Ben tortured? Well, he's still alive, courtesy of a sedative rather than a pacemaker implanted in his chest. If you're going to flip a con man, the only way to do it is to con him. And Ben wanted to make sure that Sawyer could be docile if he needed to be. He takes him on a stroll to the very edge of the cliff and shows him another island across the blue expanse of the ocean. That's the castaways' island. There is no running for escape, because there is no way off the island. (Hence, Henry's insistence that they capture the sailboat ASAP in "The Glass Ballerina.")

So while gloating isn't the most attractive quality, I can't help but smile at the fact that I was right after all about their little geographic setup. It also explains why the Others have been so careful about making the castaways think they lived in some crumbling fishing village than a suburban planned community. But then again, I've also long thought that there were two groups of Others, something that hasn't yet been disproved. Where, after all, are the children?

Next week on Lost ("The Cost of Living"), the island grows restless, a delirious Eko experiences some unique visions, Locke takes Nikki and some castaways to the Pearl where they see a terrifying one-eyed man (Colonel Tigh?) on the monitor (remember the glass eye?), and Jack continues to pit Juliet and Ben against one another. Can you believe there are only two episodes to go?

What's On Tonight

8 pm: Survivor: Cook Islands (CBS); My Name is Earl/The Office (NBC); Smallville (CW); Ugly Betty (ABC); Desire (MyNet)

9 pm: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (CBS); Deal or No Deal (NBC); Supernatural (CW); Grey's Anatomy (ABC); Fashion House (MyNet)

10 pm: Shark (CBS); ER (NBC); Grey's Anatomy (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: My Name is Earl.

On tonight's repeat of the third season premiere ("Very Bad Things"), Earl takes Joy's side when she and Darnell have a fight. Ouch. Something tells me this will not end well for Darnell or Earl.

8:30 pm: The Office.

On tonight's repeat of the third season premiere ("Gay Witch Hunt"), Michael outs grouchy and gay Dunder-Mifflin employee Oscar and there's a wacky (and out-of-place) flashback revealing what really happened to Jim and Pam after their climactic kiss.

10 pm: Calendar Girls on BBC America.

Catch this 2003 Brit flick starring Helen Mirren and Julie Walters as members of a group of older women who decide to pose nude for a calendar in order to raise money for a local hospital in this true story. And, oh, there's Life on Mars' Philip Glenister!

NBC Revamps Thursday Nights with Single-Camera Comedy Block

I can't even tell you how thrilled I was yesterday to learn that NBC was going to revamp its Thursday night lineup, mere days after the Peacock announced that it was effectively going to destroy its 8 pm timeslot by filling it with cheap-to-produce reality fare like Deal or No Deal.

Fortunately, Kevin Reilly didn't budge on keeping single-cam comedies My Name is Earl and The Office right where they are and shifting Tina Fey's 30 Rock to Thursdays and (finally!) bringing Scrubs back the schedule. Combined, these four series display the possibilities of the single camera format and I've been pleading with the networks to combine them into one single night of fantastic comedic TV.

While CBS has its Monday night comedy lineup and CW its urban-themed laughers on the same night, there hasn't been one-stop shopping for single cam mirth until now. Sadly, I've been calling for this arrangement since the days of the dearly departed Arrested Development, but I'll take what I can get. It's a risky proposition going smack against Grey's Anatomy in the 9 pm hour, but it's also somewhat heartening to see struggling NBC willing to take a risk and try to resuscitate Must-See-TV Thursdays with an all comedy lineup. And it's only fitting that in 2006 those comedies would be of the single-cam variety.

The newly revamped lineup is scheduled to launch on November 30th (which can't come quickly enough) and will consist of:

8 pm: My Name is Earl.

8:30 pm: The Office.

9 pm: Scrubs.

9:30 pm: 30 Rock.

I am surprised that NBC would wait until then to launch the new Thursday schedule. But then again, they might want to launch it after November sweeps has ended, giving them a little bit more of a comfort zone to take a chance (and not go up against a sweeps-powered Grey's in the first week of November). No mention was given to struggling sitcom 20 Good Years, so it's safe to assume it's off the schedule come the end of November.

Additionally, prior to the revamp, My Name is Earl, The Office, and 30 Rock will present super-sized 40-minute episodes on November 16th in a two-hour block. (NBC did something similar last season with Earl, The Office, and Will & Grace.) Look for the Peacock to use this scheme once more before the end of the calendar year.

As for me, I'm just happy that I now have a two-hour block of funny on Thursdays and that it's actually comprised of shows that I love to watch. Imagine that: NBC actually making viewers happy for once!

Logan Meets... Logan on "Veronica Mars"

Last night's episode of Veronica Mars ("Meet Charlie Stone") seemed much more back on target again, bringing us that tasty mix of humor, angst, and mystery that the series excels at. I absolutely adored the opening scene depicting an extremely awkward dinner between Veronica, Papa Keith, and Logan as each of them awkwardly tries to talk to one another without touching on any, well, touchy subjects. Which is hard to do when your daughter's boyfriend is the son of a notorious movie star-turned-murderer... and then turns down an offer from Larry King to appear with OJ's kids. What is a dad to think?

Logan, however, is in a bit of hot water with his inheritance quickly running out. At the rate he's going, he's got maybe 14 months worth of dosh left. Hmmm, think it could be because he sleeps in the penthouse suite at the Neptune Grand every night and is basically throwing his money away quicker than he can sign the checks? While I'd hate for this pretty rich boy to be knocked down a peg or two, I hear that the turnover at the Hearst College dorms is pretty high. Maybe he could room with Wallace and Piz? Now that would be a nasty fight waiting to happen.

Leave it to Veronica to follow the trail of the missing money "down the rabbit hole" and discover that charity Aaron's Kidz was really a shell company set up (and run by Aaron's accountant) to conceal yet another Ecchols kid: Charlie Stone. (Did anyone else think Keith gave up WAY too easily when he discovered the charity?) And Charlie Stone? Looks like he's none other than Gilmore Girls' resident rich boy Logan, Matt Czuchry. Or is he? I'm actually glad that Matt Czuchry didn't end up being Logan's real half-brother. It just seemed way too easy that they were related and instant buds: they were a little too perfect together, both loved to surf, etc. And nothing in the noir-tinged world of Neptune is ever easy. Is it just me, or did anyone else get the feeling that Logan had a little bit of a man crush on Fake Charlie? Maybe it was the way he said, "I'm sure she was," when Fake Charlie said his flight attendant mother was a real looker. Either way, my girlfriend and I couldn't help but giggle a bit during this scene. Poor Logan, he gets the brother he always dreamed about only to discover that he's actually a reporter for Vanity Fair looking for scoop... and his real brother is a rather nerdy high school teacher who wants nothing to do with him at all.

Just a brief aside: how hysterical was the throwaway line revealing that Logan's spacey sis Trina (that would be Alyson Hannigan) shot Nicole Ritchie with a BB gun? I couldn't help but roar with laughter over that mental image. Good times.

I really like Harmony (Laura San Giacomo) and Papa Keith together. Poor Harmony's ready to leave her distant husband and hires Keith to catch him in flagrante (heh), only to discover that while their marriage might be on the brink, he can't go through with an affair. And poor Keith has to be the one to tell her this, despite his feelings for Harmony. I loved the ease of their rapport and loved the fact that, when Veronica catches them chatting cosily, Harmony has kicked off her shoes (nice touch). Keith needs a lady friend, especially after things with Alicia fizzled last season and better Harmony than the Neptune High guidance counselor again... or Leanne Mars, for that matter. So, think we'll see Harmony again? Or was this a one-time connection thing for poor Keith?

Loved the scene of Dick Casablancas showing up at Veronica's house and just spreading on the charm. ("I've been to this complex before... I think we picked up our maid here once.") Dick wants to hire V. to clear the names of his frat brothers for the serial rapes plaguing the Hearst College campus. Veronica wants to gain unrestricted access to the frat, so it seems like it's a natural fit: get in the frat, poke around legitimately, and then nail the suckers to the wall. Only, as above, nothing is ever simple in Neptune (just ask Logan) and Veronica ends up discovering that none of the frat boys--while total pigs--were actually the rapist, which puts her at odds with victim Parker, who so clearly is itching for some biblical justice. But, hello!, remember Shelly Pomeroy's party? I've been waiting for Veronica to come clean to Parker about her own experience as a rape victim but I was glad that she didn't reveal that it was Mac's ex-boyfriend Cassidy (and Dick's brother) who actually raped her. Especially since Mac hasn't told Parker about what she went through last year.

Speaking of Mac, Tina Majorino is obviously off filming season two of HBO's fantastic Big Love, but I wish they hadn't even alluded to Mac's mysterious absence at all last week (especially since Parker didn't even appear) since they then proceeded to trot out the old dead great-aunt from Bakersfield cover story. (That old gem?) Meanwhile, Wallace did appear in last night's episode. Well, in one scene anyway. Which again wouldn't have been as noticeable had it not been for his conspicuous absence last week. (Hello!) And, yes, I get the whole notion of rotating casts, yada, yada, yada, but still, considering we just started the college experience, I would have imagined that we would have seen a little bit more of the Neptune gang and the newbies (can you even remember what Piz looks like anymore?) in the first few episodes of this season.

Meanwhile, Veronica's snooping turns up a rather feisty convenience store worker who says that he saw the last victim, Julie, at his store the night of her rape and she could barely stand up. She was with some guy who was trying to buy condoms but didn't have enough cash... and it was a $15 minimum for credit cards. So the gleefully colorful proprietor (happy that there wouldn't be any bastard children of these two morons roaming about), sent him next store to use the ATM. ATMs have, fortunately, ATM cameras and Veronica is able to get a picture of the guy with Julie that night. And it's not anyone we know. In fact, it's some Asian guy who is clearly not the same Asian guy in the frat. Back to square one, then. But shouldn't Veronica have, you know, showed Parker the picture of the guy to see if she recognized him? I'm just saying...

The bruising on the frat guys' hands comes from the fact that some women's rights protesters decided to dress up as rats at the frat's haunted house party and put rat traps all over their bodies when they went into the so-called "boo room," which was really just an excuse to cop a feel off of all of the unsuspecting women. But, as Joy might say, "Snap!" Rat traps activated, the boys get busted, and Dick gets seriously angry. Veronica wonders if a propensity for rape runs in families; after all Dick is Cassidy's brother and what exactly was he so upset about the night he came to Logan's suite crying and saying that he really messed up? Curious. But I am also more curious as to why the fratties were having a Halloween party the week before when the previews for next week make it abundantly clear that it's Halloween still. Or... again. Huh.

I loved the closing scene with poor Logan trying to call the Real Charlie over and over again but not being able to connect with him. The scene could have played out completely differently on another series, with the phone ringing at the end, bringing the promise of happiness for Logan. But this isn't one of those shows and the producers (and co-writer Diane Ruggiero) wisely leave him hanging on the telephone, before getting up and walking out to the balcony, very much alone, and then holding on the phone for quite some time. It was a very somber, beautiful scene that underpinned the entire nature of Logan's quest for family and belonging. And yet the poor guy still ended up all on his lonesome.

Next week on Veronica Mars ("President Evil"): it's strangely Halloween again (or still is) as the underground campus casino is robbed, Veronica searches for Logan (hmmm, coincidence?), and Dean O'Dell hires Papa Keith to track down the biological father of his wife's son.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: Jericho (CBS); 30 Rock/Twenty Good Years (NBC); America's Next Top Model (CW); Dancing with the Stars (ABC); Desire (MyNet)

9 pm: Criminal Minds (CBS); The Biggest Loser (NBC); One Tree Hill (CW); Lost (ABC); Fashion House (MyNet)

10 pm: CSI: New York (CBS); Dateline (NBC); The Nine (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: 30 Rock.

On tonight's episode ("Blind Date"), Liz gets set up on a blind date with Jack's friend, while Jack uses the opportunity to crash the writers' weekly poker game. He's a crafty one, that Jack.

8 pm: America's Next Top Model.

Okay, I'll admit it: I've gotten hooked on this cycle of ANTM. On tonight's episode ("The Girl Who Graduates"), the models find themselves struggling when tasked with getting in touch with their sexy side by a burlesque icon, Fabio makes a, er, rare photo shoot appearance, and Tyra herself gets involved in the action when she gets behind the camera for an impromptu and
"scary" photo shoot. Um, I was scared when I read Fabio was appearing...

9 pm: Lost.

Thank God it's Wednesday! On tonight's episode ("Every Man For Himself"), Jack is forced to save the live of one of the Others (let me guess: Colleen?), the Others torture Sawyer, and Kate is forced to admit that she does love "him," but is she talking about Sawyer or Jack? Find out tonight.

10 pm: Top Chef on Bravo.

It's the second season of Bravo's culinary competition Top Chef. On tonight's episode ("Eastern Promise"), the contestants are asked to prepare sushi for guest judges Ming Tsai and Katana's Hiroshi Shima. (For a sneak peek of images from the episode, click here.)

ABC Announces Return of "Lost" and Gives Primetime Schedule a "Makeover"

Looks like we have a return date for our trip to that creepy island, after all.

ABC has announced that drama Lost will return from its (soon-to-be excruciatingly painful) hiatus on February 7th, a week earlier than originally expected.

The series will wrap up the first half of its third season on November 8th (with a doozy of a cliffhanger, from what I hear) before disappearing for 13 weeks to make room for the Taye Diggs-led thriller Day Break. When Lost returns in February (mark your calendars now), it is expected to run through the rest of the season with brand-new episodes before wrapping up the season in May.

Meanwhile, in a surprise move, ABC has pulled the plug on Extreme Makeover's return to the airwaves after just one airing. (Yes, one airing!)

The plastic surgery makeover series returned to ABC's primetime lineup last Friday, replacing repeats of Grey's Anatomy, but the network announced today that it was shelving Extreme Makeover due to the low, low, low ratings that the single airing received. Instead, the net will bring back repeats of Grey's at 8 pm on Fridays. So, gals, you'll get your double dose of McDreamy, after all.

The news isn't at all bad as it at least makes me believe that American audiences have lost interest in watching plastic surgery procedures on television. Which, hello, shouldn't have been on in the first place, especially as part of a makeover show. (Shudder.)

In other scheduling news, ABC's legal drama Boston Legal will return to its original timeslot of Sundays at 10 pm for one week, airing the first installment of a two-part episode on November 26th, filling in for freshman drama Brothers & Sisters that night. The second half of the episode will air in Boston Legal's current timeslot of Tuesdays at 10 pm.

No need to adjust your TiVos for any of the above... that's what they're there for.

Why We Love "Chris" and "Old Christine"

There are some combinations that are just plain great together, like chocolate and peanut butter, and some that don't sound so appetizing on paper but are just satisfying none the less (like, say, lamb and mint jelly). Of the latter, there's Monday night's odd-couple pairing of Everybody Hates Chris and Old Christine. Before I start getting emails from people "reminding" me that they're not exactly paired together on the same network (Chris is on the CW, while Christine lives happily on CBS), I'm talking more about the general neighborhood than them actually being next-door neighbors. And now that both have taken up residence on Monday evenings, the similarities between them become all the more apparent.

Both of these series couldn't be more different in terms of tone or visual style, but both Everybody Hates Chris and Old Christine have become indicative of a new breed of modern family comedies, comprising a direct reaction to all the Friends clones about twenty-something singles living in the city, or workplace comedies like Scrubs, etc. While they're have always been sitcoms that focused on the family (hell, just off the top of my head, Cosby Show, Family Ties, Growing Pains), these feature a more modern definition of the word "family." They're not necessarily white, suburban families with 2.4 kids and a mini-van in the driveway; instead, Chris and Old Christine feature families that wouldn't necessarily have gotten a smart, sassy sitcom a few years back. On Everybody Hates Chris, our leads are an African American family teetering on the edge of poverty in Brooklyn in 1984; over on Old Christine, it's a fractured and extended family of a divorcee, her son, her brother, her ex-husband, and his new girlfriend. But somehow the circumstances each of these families find themselves in don't diminish the love and compassion each of them share for one another... yet neither manages to sacrifice laughter for warm, fuzzy, Very Special Episode moments.

I love coming home from a long day of work on Mondays and plopping myself down at 8 pm to catch the relocated Chris. Everybody Hates Chris is not The Cosby Show by a long stretch, but it does have the same heart and soul as its precursor. On Chris, the kids actually do act like kids, but the entire format has been updated and repackaged as a single-camera comedy capable of showing us the fantasy life inside each of its characters. Chris' family is not your typical sitcom family: dad Julius (Terry Crews) works two jobs to support his family, mom Rochelle (Tichina Arnold) is a ghetto snob who'd just as soon wallop her kids as kiss them, younger brother Drew (Tequan Richmond) is handsome and athletic (and taller than Chris is), and sister Tanya (Imani Hakim) is a spoiled daddy's girl. Chris himself is the only black kid in an all-white school and the victim of constant bullying and racial epithets (those suitable for the watershed 8 pm hour, anyway). Tyler James Williams, who plays Chris, is so confident and natural in the role that you can't help but love this kid and root for him to one day grow up and become, well, Chris Rock. We caught a glimpse of the future Rock in a recent episode in which Chris has to give a speech when he runs for student council and Williams managed to effortless channel the comedian's famous delivery (just don't ask Michael Scott to do the same). While everybody in Bed-Stuy might hate Chris, it's an absolute pleasure to come home to his family every Monday night. Wacky, irreverent, and riotous, Everybody Hates Chris might take place in 1984, but its appeal is completely modern and its sensibilities timeless.

On Old Christine, Christine's family is comprised of diverse elements that don't always gel emotionally, but they are always there for their beloved Ritchie, who in un-traditional sitcom style is still a lovable little moppet but he's completely weird in an adorable way. (Yes, I am thinking about last week's episode when Matthew was forced to bunk with Ritchie and discovered his, um, eccentric nighttime routine.) However, the series has fun with this rather than have it become a predominant focus or obnoxious tangent. Ritchie (Trevor Gagnon) is just who he is and, after all, he is the son of the supremely wacky Christine and Richard and nephew to Matthew (Hamish Linklater), the poster boy for arrested development. The image presented by Old Christine is certainly not perfect or idyllic. This is no smiling, happy Family Ties family, but a challenging, dynamic extended brood. A few years ago, this would have been a provocative, radical idea, but our notions of "family" have changed since the days of the Keatons and Cosbys. According to Old Christine, family is what gathers around you and comforts you, even when that unit is not comprised of a mom and dad married to one another and is instead your mom, your dad, and his new 28-year-old girlfriend... who just happens to share the same name with your mom.

Besides the fact that the series is actually laugh-out-loud funny, something I never thought a traditional multi-camera comedy would be able to make me do for a long time. Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Clark Gregg are the single best divorced non-couple on television today and, while I'd watch Louis-Dreyfus read the Anchorage phone book aloud, I love the way she completely inhabits the role of Christine Campbell and turns in a completely uninhibited performance each week.

Plus, I'd much rather watch either of these series than tune in to any of the permutations of what my brother calls "fat guy/hot wife" generic comedies like According to Jim, which are far too traditional in their humor and setups and suddenly exploded onto the scene a few years back. While Chris and Old Christine might not be for everyone (though I can't imagine why), I'm happy to spend my Monday nights with both of their lovable, messed up, kooky families.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: NCIS (CBS); Friday Night Lights (NBC); Gilmore Girls (CW); Dancing with the Stars (ABC; 8-9:30 pm); Desire (MyNet)

9 pm: The Unit (CBS); Law & Order: Criminal Intent (NBC); Veronica Mars (CW); Help Me Help You (ABC; 9:30-10 pm); Fashion House (MyNet)

10 pm: Criminal Minds (CBS); Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (NBC); Boston Legal (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: Gilmore Girls.

On tonight's episode ("The Great Stink"), written by yet another new Gilmore writer Gina Fattore, Emily and Richard are thrilled when Lorelai brings Christopher to Friday night dinner but Chris learns that ex-wife Sherry wants him to send their daughter GiGi to stay with her in Paris. Meanwhile, the episode's title refers to a malodorous problem plaguing Stars Hollow. If it smells like the stench of this once great series rotting, I think you've found it.

9 pm: Veronica Mars.

On tonight's episode ("Charlie Don't Surf"), Logan sits down for dinner with Veronica and Papa Keith and enlists Veronica's help when he realizes that his inheritance is suddenly running low... a mystery which leads them smack into Charlie Stone, played by Gilmore Girls' resident Logan, Matt Czuchry!

10 pm: The Street on BBC America.

On the fourth episode ("Bold Street: Football") of Jimmy McGovern's new drama The Street, a a top football (soccer to the Yanks in the audience) prospect is caught shoplifting a pair of sneakers. If you were looking for light-hearted mirth, look elsewhere.

Casting Couch: Showtime Locks Three for Two Pilots

Showtime certainly isn't stuck in the weeds.

Cabler, which recently unveiled new series Dexter and announced its intention to make all eight hours of its upcoming second season of Sleeper Cell (entitled Sleeper Cell: American Terror) available on VOD the same day as its premiere, has cast three actors in two of its new pilots.

Peter Facinelli (Fastlane, Six Feet Under) and Beth Riesgraf (MTV's Undressed, and a.k.a. the future Mrs. Jason Lee) have been cast in drama pilot Insatiable, where they will play a husband and wife who are both named Sandy who were former Olympic figure skaters. Facinelli's Sandy will be an abrasive yet handsome jock who is confined to a wheelchair following a car accident, while Riesgraf's Sandy will be a recovering alcholic who is oblivious to her husband's cruelty and extramarital affairs. Series is set in a small town where everyone suffers from some form of addiction.

Meanwhile, Paul Hipp (Carnivale, Three Sisters) has been cast in the Darren Star-adapted US version of British series Manchild, where he'll play a married father who works at an ad agency. Like the UK version, this series will revolve around four male friends in their forties who are all suffering--not from addiction in this case--but from mid-life crises.

Such Great Heights: Teams Arrive in Kuwait and Promptly Get Lost on "The Amazing Race"

It's rather cool that producers took their promise seriously this season to send the teams competing in this, the tenth installment of The Amazing Race, to some, well, amazing locations: China, Mongolia, Vietnam, etc. I think it's rather fun again to wonder where they'll be sent next and what mischief they'll be made to do. It almost makes up for the Weaver family. Well, almost.

Last night's episode found the teams leaving behind
Chennai, India for Kuwait and their only hint to find their next clue was a photograph of the Kuwait Towers taken on a cell phone. (Ahem, product placement.) While that proved easier than not to solve (showing nearly anyone said photograph helped), it was a welcome mini-twist (and a throwback to the early years of the Race) to see teams attempting to figure out WHERE to go next and not just look on a map or ask for directions. (Though that apparently was rather tricky for some teams too.)

The Beauty Queens just bug, especially as they seem to have difficulties reading the clues and try to take shortcuts when completing the tasks. In the Detour, they didn't fill the bags of camel feed to the indicated line and then got huffy when they decided that the detour judges were being so picky and particular. (Um, no, that's just what the clue tell you to do.) Likewise, during the Roadblock -- in which one team member had to climb the exterior ladder of the Kuwait Towers and then assemble a puzzle which revealed (in Arabic) their next destination -- they were furious with Lyn and Karlyn for telling some locals not to help the girls, even though Dustin and Kandice would have done the very same thing. And have done so in the past! They're hypocritical and that instantly makes me dislike them as a team; it's one thing to be a tough competitor and to be sneaky, but it's quite another to get all puffed up when other teams do the same. You set the standard, after all.

Kimberly is now officially the poster child for the Ugly American. When she's not tossing off ethnocentric bon mots as in other episodes, she's revealing her own ignorance and stupidity. Like in last night's episode when she kept calling the Grand Mosque the "Grand Mask." When corrected by the way overly-excitable Rob as to the correct pronunciation of the, you know, holy space, her only reaction was, "What-ever. I don't know what that is." Um, Kim, you've never heard of a mosque? Have you been living under a rock lately? I find it rather astounding that she's again and again proven herself more ignorant than coalminer David and his wife Mary, whom many thought would be a one-note hillbilly joke. Instead, it's the two of them that are enchanted by everything they see and everyone they encounter, while Kimberly proves that she's the uneducated, oblivious one. Truly a sad commentary on the American educational system.

Speaking of David and Mary, I thought for sure they would be eliminated this week. But thanks to the Fast Forward, and some selfless acts from the Cho Brothers, the couple managed to brave the flames (reaching over 1000 degrees) and get their clue from a box situated next to a raging (if staged) oil field blaze. Having obtained the Fast Forward, they were able to skip all of the obstacles and make their way to the Pit Stop, where they actually managed to check in first, and thus avoid a 30-minute penalty (the new non-elimination twist). I'm really happy that David and Mary were able to check in first. I think we can all agree that there's no way that these two can win the Race, but they've made it incredibly far, landed in the top spot one week, and will walk away with a vacation to Jamaica. So I'm happy on their account that they're not exactly walking away empty handed.

I was really quite stunned by the generosity of the Cho Brothers, especially since strong-arming David and Mary into taking the Fast Forward landed them in last place and could have ended in their elimination. (I loved seeing the Beauty Queen's faces when they realized that the Cho Bros had tricked them into not taking the Fast Forward.) But Karma, as Earl Hickey knows, has a funny way of smiling down on good people and the Chos managed to check in at the mat in fifth place... even though I had a sinking feeling they would be eliminated.

Even more stunning was the fact that it became quite clear that it was going to be either Tyler and James or Peter and Sarah who got the boot last night. Both teams have been incredibly strong but plagued by problems -- some internal, some external -- that seem to hold them back. Tyler and James aren't my favorite team by far but I wasn't ready to see them go home either. Meanwhile, Peter and Sarah have been pretty fierce competitors and while I've been rooting for Sarah the entire time, I was conflicted about cheering on their team as a whole, because I find Peter to be so completely loathsome. Why on earth would he have Sarah do the climbing road block at the Kuwait Towers? While it ended up being perfectly fine (the entire road block seemed way too easy, in fact) and Sarah was able to make her way up the ladder without any problem, it totally underscored the fact that this guy doesn't get it at all, especially after she had such difficulty scaling the cliff that time.

These two are clearly not connecting with one another and I'm thrilled that Sarah finally realized that Peter is not the guy for her. I loved the fact that Sarah felt confident enough to tell Peter to his face that she thought he was unkind and that clearly they are not a good fit for one another. So, even though she was eliminated from the Race, I can't say that Sarah walked away without winning anything.

Next week on The Amazing Race: Dustin and Kandice clash with Lyn and Karlyn at an airline ticket counter (quelle surprise) and then manage to crash their car. I don't know about you, but I cannot wait to see that.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: How I Met Your Mother/The Class (CBS); Deal or No Deal (NBC); Everybody Hates Chris/All of Us (CW); Wife Swap (ABC); Prison Break (FOX); Desire (MyNet)

9 pm: Two and a Half Men/The New Adventures of Old Christine (CBS); Heroes (NBC); Girlfriends/The Game (WB); The Bachelor: Rome (ABC)