Skip to main content

Dining with Disaster: An Insider's Perspective on the Chaos in "Hell's Kitchen"

Dining in Hell's Kitchen often seems to be an exercise in futility and a Herculean test of patience.

So when I learned that two Televisionary operatives would be dining there, I did the only humane thing and told them to be sure to eat ahead of time.

Did my associates ever get their food? Were they lambasted by tantrum-prone chef Gordon Ramsay? When I realized that the Hell's Kitchen episode they participated in was scheduled to air tonight on FOX, I got the scoop from "Ruth" and "Gael" (names have been changed to protect the hungry) on just how hot it got in Hell's Kitchen.

Ruth and Gael happened to arrive at eatery Hell's Kitchen on Valentine's Day, traditionally one of the busiest (and most lucrative) restaurant nights of the year. Would it be romance and champagne in the Kitchen? Or heartbreak and empty stomachs?

From the start, it was obvious that things were a mess. That night, the two teams had devised separate menus and it was up to diners to decide which they'd order off of, rather than be seated in a particular side of the restaurant. In the red kitchen: Sara, Maribel, and Virginia; in the blue kitchen: Heather, Garrett, and Keith. Poor maitre d' Jean Philippe was having a hard time and was even telling people to order off of the red menu (the women's kitchen), because things were quickly turning pear-shaped in the blue kitchen. (Get it together, Heather!)

"The cameras were all over our table at the beginning when we ordered," said Ruth. "We were only to talk about the food and how long it was taking, etc. A table nearby ours was playing a game while waiting for their food. But I think someone took the game away from them."

Denied even the amusement of a simple game, Ruth and Gael waited... and waited and waited. Both began to get antsy and it wasn't helping matters that the staff continually kept plying them with more alcohol. "To be honest, the thing I remember most is how many times they kept coming back to fill our wine glasses," said Gael. "I don't normally drink that much, but that night I had a bottomless cup. I don't know, but it seemed like they were trying to get us inebriated. It was almost as if they wanted a one night stand with me..."

In between glasses of wine, Ruth and Gael noticed the complete chaos around them. People kept going up to the glass partition in the kitchen and complaining about how long it was taking to be served, which was undoubtedly slowing things down considerably. After drinking a few glasses of wine, Ruth went up to see what the problem was in the kitchen, but discovered that someone was already complaining. Chefs were running around like deranged headless chickens, but no food was coming out. And Ramsay was livid, screaming bloody murder every chance he got because apparently there was a "big mess up" in the kitchen.

But, lo and behold, the blue kitchen actually managed to get their dishes out before the red kitchen (at this table, anyway) and Ruth and Gael did eat that night. The food? Some sashimi with sesame seeds that was deemed "just okay" by this dining duo, followed by a chicken roulade stuffed with spinach and herbs that was surprisingly "really good."

Sadly, Ruth and Gael never made it to the dessert course, though many other parties did receive their third and final course. "We were really disappointed," said Gael, "because we got a chance to see everyone else devour the little delectable desserts and we were there so long we felt like we deserved it!"

But things had apparently gone from bad to worse in the kitchen. "At one point Ramsay started yelling, got frustrated, and just walked out," said Ruth. "Soon after we looked around and the cameras were gone and most of the people were gone. It was a little confusing... Is that it? Do we stay or go? No dessert?" (Not in this lifetime, anyway.)

Afterward, Ruth walked to the kitchen and thanked Hell's Kitchen chef Sara. "She was really nice," she said. (Sara? Really? Ruth must have had a lot to drink that night.) Grabbing their things, they walked out, a little shocked and more than a little disappointed. Still, not everything was so bad, according to Gael. "The bread on the table was absolutely fantastic," she said. "The cracker one with cheese on it was exceptionally good. In fact, now when I think about it, I probably filled myself up with bread."

So there you have it. Come for the ambiance at Hell's Kitchen and stay for the bread.

What's On Tonight

8 pm: The King of Queens/How I Met Your Mother (CBS); Project Runway (NBC); 7th Heaven (WB); Wife Swap (ABC); Hell's Kitchen (FOX); Major League Baseball (UPN)

9 pm: Two and a Half Men/How I Met Your Mother (CBS); Treasure Hunters (NBC); 7th Heaven (WB); Supernanny (ABC); Hell's Kitchen (FOX)

10 pm: CSI: Miami (CBS); Medium (NBC); Supernanny (ABC)

What I'll Be Watching

8 pm: Spaced on BBC America.

If you missed Friday's Stateside airing of the hilarious and surreal 1999 sitcom Spaced (starring Shaun of the Dead's Simon Pegg), here's your chance to catch the fifth episode before another episode airs Friday. On tonight's episode ("Chaos"), Tim takes Daisy's new dog Colin out for a walk and promptly loses him, causing Daisy to accuse Tim of deliberately losing the dog. However, when they learn that the dog was, er, dognapped, they launch a rescue mission.

8:30 pm: Peep Show on BBC America.

Another chance to catch the third episode before a new episode on Friday. On tonight's episode, Mark, convinced that they'll sleep together, attempts to stop his nemesis Jeff from taking a business trip with Sophie. Meanwhile, Jeremy becomes uncontrollably possessive over his new girlfriend Nancy.

9 pm: Hell's Kitchen.

See above. On tonight's installment of the FOX culinary competition show ("6 Chefs"), the teams devise and introduce two individual menus. I'm not sure which is worse: not being able to get Gordon's dishes off the line or your own?

11 pm: Lovespring International on Lifetime.

I know, it's on Lifetime of all places. On tonight's new episode of the improvised comedy ("The Loser Club"), Burke and Lydia struggle to match up their most challenging clients before an annual company mixer.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Big surprise - a reality show interferes with reality. Telling people what to talk about, etc. It's like - I know it goes on, but I don't necesarily like to know about it.

Not that surprised Sara was nice. As you know, I have one degree of separation from her and have heard she is very nice. So again, probably playing a reality show role. She said she had a lot of fun doing the show, so maybe part of the fun was creating a role? I don't know. I haven't watched.

One of my old neighbors was the most reviled contestant on Unan1mous. Another show I never saw, but my reaction was "John?!?! Really?!?" Cause he was one of the nicest people around. I saw him shortly after the show ended and he said he had a blast.

Reality shows are weird.

Popular posts from this blog

Have a Burning Question for Team Darlton, Matthew Fox, Evangeline Lilly, or Michael Emerson?

Lost fans: you don't have to make your way to the island via Ajira Airways in order to ask a question of the creative team or the series' stars. Televisionary is taking questions from fans to put to Lost 's executive producers/showrunners Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse and stars Matthew Fox ("Jack Shephard"), Evangeline Lilly ("Kate Austen"), and Michael Emerson ("Benjamin Linus") for a series of on-camera interviews taking place this weekend. If you have a specific question for any of the above producers or actors from Lost , please leave it in the comments section below . I'll be accepting questions until midnight PT tonight and, while I can't promise I'll be able to ask any specific inquiry due to the brevity of these on-camera interviews, I am looking for some insightful and thought-provoking questions to add to the mix. So who knows: your burning question might get asked after all.

What's Done is Done: The Eternal Struggle Between Good and Evil on the Season Finale of "Lost"

Every story begins with thread. It's up to the storyteller to determine just how much they need to parcel out, what pattern they're making, and when to cut it short and tie it off. With last night's penultimate season finale of Lost ("The Incident, Parts One and Two"), written by Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse, we began to see the pattern that Lindelof and Cuse have been designing towards the last five seasons of this serpentine series. And it was only fitting that the two-hour finale, which pushes us on the road to the final season of Lost , should begin with thread, a loom, and a tapestry. Would Jack follow through on his plan to detonate the island and therefore reset their lives aboard Oceanic Flight 815 ? Why did Locke want to kill Jacob? What caused The Incident? What was in the box and just what lies in the shadow of the statue? We got the answers to these in a two-hour season finale that didn't quite pack the same emotional wallop of previous season ...

In Defense of Downton Abbey (Or, Don't Believe Everything You Read)

The proof of the pudding, as they say, is in the eating. Which means, if I can get on my soapbox for a minute, that in order to judge something, one ought to experience it first hand. One can't know how the pudding has turned out until one actually tastes it. I was asked last week--while I was on vacation with my wife--for an interview by a journalist from The Daily Mail, who got in touch to talk to me about PBS' upcoming launch of ITV's period drama Downton Abbey , which stars Hugh Bonneville, Dame Maggie Smith, Dan Stevens, Elizabeth McGovern, and a host of others. (It launches on Sunday evening as part of PBS' Masterpiece Classic ; my advance review of the first season can be read here , while my interview with Downton Abbey creator Julian Fellowes and stars Dan Stevens and Hugh Bonneville can be read here .) Normally, I would have refused, just based on the fact that I was traveling and wasn't working, but I love Downton Abbey and am so enchanted with the proj...